Deep, deep shame.
True to my word, I did not watch the Rumble at the Ranch though did spend much time looking at the home Kim Kardashian and Kanye West once owned. Not that much, actually, but I did glance a few times and, to be honest, also glanced at the World Surf League’s first narrowcast of professional surfing since…. whenever.
I am a surf journalist after all.
My glance came as traffic slowed on the 405, right after noon, and I thought, “What the heck. We’re stuck in traffic, young daughter killing people in Fortnite, lemme just check in.”
Ill-advised, certainly, on multiple levels.
I heard Joe Turpel. I saw Rose. I couldn’t take anymore. Skin crawling, wanting to drive into the center median, etc.
PTSD, I believe, is what it’s called.
Later, I wondered if it was good. Maybe great. I devoured Longtom’s analysis and wondered if Longtom is only a hater. I giggled at Kanoa Igarshi’s onesie but remembered my many mispelings a day.
Then was sent this abomination via Instagram.
“Put money on this trash between some friends, just to make it somewhat bearable and the WSL couldn’t even get that right. This is bracket they publicly posted (which we made our picks off of)…”
“…And this is the one they’re using for today’s event. Fuck the WSL.
Robbing punters?
Is there a worse crime?
Chazz Micheal?
World Surf League CEO Erik Logan has much to answer for (including Lawn Patrol) but this….
….this.
The words escape.
The comments here are the only place I’m hearing about the thing. It’s all that nobody is talking about in the real world.
In order to be a “surf journalist” you need to at least be a journalist. Nothing on this site qualifies as journalism.
Thats why its special. What you got? Submit it!!
I can read anything surf related!
Don’t worry, you can call yourself a rock star if there’s a guitar in your spare room somewhere.
Or a porn star if you set up a cam (helps if you leave your socks on).
Everyone’s a winner, it’s 2020.
Crumble at the ranch
Fumble at the ranch
Stumble at the ranch
Jumble at the ranch
Tumble at the ranch
Bumble at the ranch
Mumble at the ranch
Anything but rumble
the “Rumble” refers to the the diarrhea you get from watching it
Couldn’t find a bookie here offering odds for such an obscure sport, so I put some money on Kabaddi instead.
It made the comp significantly less interesting, which in itself was something, but I stayed for the BG comments section.
If anyone can give me odds on Kanoa to be a D cup by Pipe I’ll take them.
$1.05
Delicious little slutty titties
Is this Derek’s burner account?
He’s smut talk is inspiring!
Might want to put it in a multi with Kelly becoming the new face of Q Anon
What about swapping brackets at last second. Is that acceptable behavior?
Bad form, but it happens. A bookie should void the bet so it doesn’t leave a punter out of pocket, but does relieve them of the pleasure of seeing their bet play out! It’s very annoying.
To answer your question, Chas: yes, there is a worse crime. It’s called “Cyclone Surfer.” http://www.kickstarter.com/project...
Genius.
Glorious.
Guaniferous gyroidal gambrel.
Did anyone else feel the endorphin hang over today?
Was it the anticipation of pro surfing or the application of pro surfing responsible for your high blood pressure and subsequent collapse?
I slept all day, completely spent from cheering in my home office.
Heaps more fun in the comments section hanging shit on the comp as opposed to watching it. Agree though, a real rush, then the come down self loathing etc after realising I actually watched that piece of shit comp and am a lame surf fan. Yuk.
it really is a wanna-be tennis tour
Is that the WSL misspelling of the Japanese name ‘Watanabe’?
nah man, Tennis is run well.
Should we start a GoFundMe?
What’s he gonna do with all those tailpads?
yes please – I need a new CI Mid to compete with Chas in the north county lineups.
Oh, you mean for that guy who was dumb enough to bet on the Rumble in the Tumble Weeds. Serves him right.
If I could actually read whats on first photo I might be able to feign outrage.
From the first pic – they swapped Quarter 2 with quarter 3 so they were different sides of the draw.
Shrug – bit shit for the punters out there.
So, now you can let er rip, neg !
But you already know. The WSL…….. messed up again!
And the silence from Slater not taking to instagram to promote it was deafening.
It’s a good thing that something someting, that other thing, and stuff.
I MEAN WAHT THE FUCK?!?!? THE THING, AND THE STUFF AND THAT THING.
I don’t care.
You clearly don’t gamble.
Flagged it but got on Blood Sweat and Tears payin $16 at Bendigo ..next race paying $5 so put in for for a top 4 finish in same race multi should be laughing mate ..
NOPE!
I think with my keenly honed instinct for heading in exactly the wrong direction, I’d make a terrible gambler. (Or a fantastic one, depending on which side of the cash register one sits)
I’ve done well, I think, to steer well clear of that particular hobby.
But please, do me a favour and refer to it out loud as the “Room-blay at the ranch,” and it will make your experience with the event, even more special.
The dumbfuck should have just bought some cocaine. Safer bet.
You can’t script this! Literally.
EXIT, PURSUED BY A BEAR
No wonder I crawl around taping ducts together for a living. I can’t tell the fucken difference between these. Fuck your stupid IQ test, Chozzlos.
I’m flat out with my day gig and have got back into Repo at nights.
People just tossing their keys to me.
Try get a Repo licence
When Vic opens up you’ll be Killin it.
Thanks Chas
In your poddy you said if you get lemons make lemonade or some shit like that
Give up the semi auto bios and start writing self help books
The new book sounds horrendous
Night time Repo work and a day gig as BG resident pest..probably just woo up on the life advice big fella..
Gotta have a thick skin for Repo, shroomy, my little petal
Collected for an uncle who was an SP Bookie for a couple years in my youth, smackin heads on brickies laptops pullin cunts outta pubs to the ATM up the street .. been there done it..it’s a fukn Shit way to earn a crust but each to their own I guess..
What % you working on Petal?
I cant get into it
Negs will get on the rag
But you sound hard enuff.!!!
Miss spent youth/truth
Your just getting keys tossed at ya and masks ..hahah your probs at one of Derek’s swinger benders..
If you get demons, make demonade.
Seppo interpretation please…. que es “Repo?”
Repossession
Are you telling me you’ve never watched “Repo Man”?! For shame!
It’s a golden age for repomen
You get to wear a mask and retain your anonymity.
I definatly made more money yesterday than Coco
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Arguably the late me’s greatest work.
“suppose you’re thinkin’ about a plate of shrimp. Suddenly someone’ll
say, like, ‘plate,’ or ‘shrimp,’ or ‘plate of shrimp’ out of the blue,
no explanation. No point in lookin’ for one, either. It’s all part of a
cosmic unconsciousness.”
I’ve had sushi and not paid quite often.
But you can’t have been caught cause you need a clean record and they take fingerprints.
I’ve used ottos strategy many times and it really works
https://youtu.be/_ipqS_0Hyz8
do you consider yourself a vulture or a seagull?
and why the capital letter change?
I’m an essential service
Youre lucky if you’ve never had to use one
Get me a gig in Newie mate!!! Probs have to carry a gun
Huh? I thought only US economy was shit right now or are they aborigines’ cars?
We don’t discriminate
I collect credit card debt to waterfront mansions and everything in between
Going to collect another timeout from negs as he repos your disqus account.
If life gives you lemons, freeze them. Then you can throw them at people.
I know lemons.
No tie bands?
You’re a fucking ducty. That explains everything
I failed the one Charles Barkley failed too.