Tussle in the Tumbleweeds!
We all said we weren’t going to watch this Rumble at the Ranch business. That Kelly Slater’s technological marvel is dull and not enjoyable etc. except here we all are, watching this Rumble at the Ranch business.
Except me.
I’ll be poolside in Bel Air, this noon PST (3 pm EST, 5 am Sydney) sipping a cocktail and gazing across a lovely canyon at Kim Kardashian x Kanye West’s house on the other side. Or maybe it’s their old house.
You’ll be in my heart, in any case, alongside Kelly Slater, Carissa Moore, Kolohe Andino et. al.
Here’s rules, in case you forgot.
My pick, as you have already heard, is Team Sweet Caroline x ADS. Who’s got more of a bone to pick with The Machine than the Li’l Plumber?
Kelly Slater delivered an extraordinarily rude slap to Adriano hours after the young man won his, and Brazil’s, first ever Championship Tour World Title and I trust it still smarts. Smarts enough for a Rumble victory but what do you think?
Who is your call?
Watch here, discuss below and know that I’m thinking of you.
xoxo
Kids if it’s all that dumb and that unworthy of your attention, why do you pay it so much attention?
Australians have a word for that.
It’s called “wanking.”
If you actually go to the contest, it’s pretty cool: Hot, weird, social, bizarre, fun.
Extremely different.
A surf scene in the back of beyond.
Definitely unusual.
If it’s that dumb, don’t watch it.
Hannibal Lecter understands. You are coveting. Being covetous: https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Don’t.
So who’s dorkier?
1. The world’s best surfers for competing in a Seven Engineering Marvel in the World wave pool in blazing heat out in the middle of the Sea of Fertility and getting paid for it?
2. Or a bunch of sideline-sitting, barking pinnipeds who hate the thing so much, they spend all day firing snarky, stupid, jealous, racist, sexist, dumbass comments at it?
When we all know the barking pinnipeds:
1. Would kill to have a go riding the thing, if only they had the money and the connections.
2. Wouldn’t ride it as well as the worst girl in the comp.
Wasn’t there a time when surfers were cool?
I’d hazard a guess your girlfriend’s chinese…
A miss, per the norm, Ben.
Not a miss at all.
If you actually go to the contest it’s bizarre and great.
That wave, to quote McMurphy, is “A goddamn miracle of modern science.”
As said before, Surf Ranch is like Tesla – amazing to see someone get right what everyone else has gotten wrong.
And the setting out there in the middle of the Sea of Meth and Manure makes it that much weirder.
The evenings are nice, like Hawaii – some warmth and color, but different smells.
And all your pinnipeds watching from wherever would kill to be invited to the contest and/or ride the thing.
You don’t realize until you get there how loooooong that thing is.
In Santa Cruz terms it’s like taking off at the end of the Santa Cruz Wharf, pulling into the barrel for 15 seconds in front of the Casino, coming out do some turns, pull in again at the Tilt a Whirl (RIP) and kick out past the point at the Rivermouth.
That is loooooooongggggg.
Your commenters seethe with jealousy they aren’t rich enough or cool enough to try the thing.
You guys did a good job with the Pat Curren deal. The GoFundMe is skyrocketing likeTesla stock.
Up to $32,000 from $24,000 just this morning.
Oh and I think they had a paddle out for Mara this past weekend in Santa Cruz.
Paddle out was for Dave King
For Mara too, on the 9th, apparently: https://www.facebook.com/ev…
This is such a sad attempt at being clever. The old you couldn’t do it better so you have no right to criticize is tired and lazy.
Of course we’d all ride it. The issue with the masses of us never getting the chance is that we’ve all spent our lives dedicated to this surfing thing. All we get is videos of fucking kook celebrities learning to surf on it shoved down our gullet, while we we are kept away by a guard and a 8 foot tall eco bullshit fence.
It’s not being clever, it’s being disgusted with how lame and whiny surfers have become.
If Surf Ranch and pro surfing are so lame, ignore it all and don’t spend all day obsessively sniping at it on some dopey website?
So earn some money and go ride it.
If you had invested $10,000 in TSLA on March 19, that would be worth $40,000 now and you could buy a day for your friends = if you have any friends.
That wave is an accomplishment. A great deal of money and thought going into a machine that has put lighting in a bottle.
As said elsewhere. It’s like Tesla – someone succeding where everyone else has failed.
Think of all the variables in creating a perfect wave like that in nature.
They did it in a pool and it is perfect.
I’m just waiting for Kelly or someone to float the entire barrel section – there’s a challenge.
Another WSL fail. At least their consistent, from fucken lawn patrol to this pile of utter horse shit. Elo has secretly been hired as a spy, who’s sole task is to destroy pro surfing, a task in which he is excuting with savage skill. I can’t believe a 2 foot wave board throwing, sup riding, poo stance utter kook is running pro surfing. Well played to the secret organisation trying to kill the greatest sport in the world
Fun hanging with you all. Made the long waits for the GroundSwell Technology™ worth it.
Totally unrelated, a local shaper in my area is raising some funds for Pat Curren, if anyone is interested in throwing him a few bucks: https://www.gofundme.com/f/…
Better put this thing up in lights. Pat…Curren…man…
Seems like a sad, complicated story there, right? His 88th birthday today too. This is the instagram post where I came across it: https://www.instagram.com/p…. People in the comments of course asking about Joe and Tom..
Thanks for the lead.
That’s it? No presentation. No interviews, nothing?
Same last year. Gab wins. Patty-cake has to come out and tell the Medinas they won. Charlie furious. No one tell us! No one tell us etc.
https://www.instagram.com/p…
Real waves for local,club contest this weekend
You in there, Bicks?
No …. back in sunny Germany .
Woke to watch the finals. Yawn. Back to sleep.
Hope you’re doing well Rocker aloha
Much much much better! Finally walking again… next step swimming pool (gonna start with some involuntary breath holds I reckon 😂). Hopefully a trip to the beach in the next month…
The entertainment of the comment section here was better than the comp, again. Thanks everyone for the laughs
Was anyone else’s feed repeatedly dropping out?
Yep
Unwatchable.
Yep ……the cows
Haha. Fuck.
And back to silence….
Kanoa why didn’t you start with an massive air?
Scared of wax malfunction.
7 or die
There is more engagement right now than possibly any live comment WSL that has appeared here on BG. Just saying…
A) no it’s not b) you seem to be missing the point
I may be, what’s the point? People are starving for content. And here we are…
I’m gonna go explore some self engagement…
Lol
Please tell me that the Tokyo Towel Boy ……swallowed …oops choked .
Who has a better rack, Kanoa or Coco?
Santa says Ho Ho Ho
oh wait the money goes to Surfrider LA no matter who wins? c’mon they should have competing charities or at the very least competing Surfrider chapters
That was just who both teams chose coincidentally, but yeah they should have had a stipulation that they all have different charities
I bet they texted behind the scenes
Just tuned it really is just to long a wait between waves
CoTo HoTo CoTo HoTo CoTo HoTo CoTo HoTo
it’s all good…. yeah right Joe.
The Apple TV app froze the 2 times I went to turn it on and the app can’t handle the bracket layout to look at scores. I literally tried to give them the benefit of the doubt but they won’t let me.
I had to switch browsers…chrome hung up
and…..it froze….
Watch on YouTube
That would take effort I dont plan to expend.
Ditto
Jump on this. https://7plus.com.au/live-t…
Filipe switch- first compelling moment of the day
It was fucking lame. Shouldn’t count into his score
Agree, but interesting nonetheless
At this level… No.
Fair enough
Yeh at his level the switch should look way more natural…
Yago was pretty silky when he did it last year
Is it though? Or is it just another shining example of surfing’s entertainment limitations.
Literally the most shit switch trick I’ve ever seen in any sport.
I guess I’m a sucker for switch in surfing. It’s so hard and so few people can do it with any degree of skill. I will say that noone does it with any style
They missed Flippys wave, how is that possible?