What’s cooler than being cool? Ice cold, of course, and the same investment fund managers, private chefs, social media CEOs, who furiously danced to Outkast’s Hey Ya! in 2003 have discovered a new way to freeze.
E-foils.
And The New York Times just published a wonderfully inspiring piece titled “That Person Floating Over the East River Is Riding a $12,000 Water Toy” which profiles Mr. Brian Sheehy, an investment fund manager living in Manhattan’s Upper East Side who, two years ago, saw something crazy on the internet.
“Videos of people who looked like they were flying over the water on futuristic contraptions.”
According to the Times, he became obsessed, purchased two as soon as they became available and taught himself to “ride the source.”
On every hero’s journey, after the hero has heeded the “call to adventure” and “crossed the threshold,” there comes the “tests and enemies.” Mr. Sheehy’s enemy was his wife, who has been driven crazy because there is no place to store the two e-foils in the Upper East Side apartment and they take up a lot of space so go on the deck, but her rotten attitude does not derail.
Mr. Sheehy stuffs his e-foil into Ubers, takes them to the East River and lives and flies above the water on his own futuristic contraption. Dreaming of someday making it around the Statue of Liberty.
He is not alone. Adam Kenworthy, private chef who appeared on Real Housewives of New York City cruises one, and Ritchie Lambertson, who started an e-foil school in the Hamptons, though he himself lives in Brooklyn.
Dangers lurk.
The battery might die, our heroes may get hit by a boat, pollution, impending regulation.
“The fishermen told me how dangerous the river is,” Mr. Sheehy told the Times. “It’s a famous dumping ground for bodies because they just disappear.”
Instructor Lambertson, who charges $450 for a private session, does his best to mitigate by not allowing students to e-foil the river until they have mastered calmer water.
All very cool but are you sold on the e-foiling life? Would you watch the World E-Foil League religiously or just catch it as you could?
Also, would you rather e-foil or have a super tricked out radio control boat? Like, the fastest radio control boat on the whole eastern seaboard.
Difficult questions for difficult times.
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Queen of surfing Ellie-Jean Coffey launches sexy subscriber-only website: “Nipple exxxposed, completely topless with my legs spread open”
Buy a ten-dollar a month subscription to examine noted goofyfooter from various angles…
Pro surfing ain’t what it used to be. Where rivers of gold once flowed, these mighty torrents have slowed to barely a trickle.
And, even with a million followers like van-life goofyfoter Ellie-Jean Coffey, who is twenty-five and living in a caravan of family travellers, the truth is a gal can’t eat likes.
Therefore, it may not be completely surprising that EJ has turned to a paid-subscriber model, offering “uncensored content, private chat and more.”
A bounty of forbidden treats.
Uncensored content includes, “Nipple exposed… completely topless with my legs spread open”, “Wish you were holding my hand while I sip this wine giving you an upskirt view with no panties”, “More upskirt action… no panties and my plump (peach emoji) fully exposed”, “Grabbing my boob with legs spread in lingerie.”
Private chat, I’m guessing, borders on the not-safe-for-work side of things.
According to the complaint, Outerknown “denies approximately 8.1 million Americans who have difficulty seeing access to its online store because the Website is largely incompatible with the screen reader programs.”
Earlier this year, surfing’s most sustainable company, Outerknown, was sued in federal court over alleged civil rights violations.
According to the complaint, Outerknown “denies approximately 8.1 million Americans who have difficulty seeing access to its online store because the Website is largely incompatible with the screen reader programs.”
The suit sought to compel Outerknown’s compliance with the Americans with Disabilities Act.
Plaintiffs found Outerknown’s website “largely unusable due to various barriers that deny them full and equal access to [Outerknown’s] online stores.”
The suit was consolidated with almost twenty other suits arising out of the same issues. Other name defendants included Catch Surf and Taylor Stitch.
Outerknown and the plaintiffs settled for an unknown amount earlier this year.
According to its website, “Outerknown is [now] dedicated to continually ensuring that its website is always accessible to individuals with visual impairments and other disabilities.”
Outerknown is no longer just a “manufacturer and supplier of sustainable products.”
They’re also “committed to providing equal access to all who attempt to shop . . . through [the] website.”
If you’re blind, give ’em a call, if your hands can’t handle a mouse, everything is accessible via the keyboard.
Today is World Suicide Prevention Day and while BeachGrit is typically your go-to for light fun-making and updates on the ethnicity of Kelly Slater’s girlfriend, there are places and times to highlight real issues and the real people making a difference.
Florida’s Jamie Tworkowski has been involved with mental health and suicide prevention since 2006, and is also BeachGrit’s Volunteer Director of Typos. Before founding the non-profit To Write Love On Her Arms (TWLOHA), he worked as a Quiksilver sub-rep then Hurley rep in his home state.
This year, TWLOHA is rallying around the campaign Worth Living For and trying to raise 250k which would cover 3500 counseling sessions, as the vast majority of those who die by suicide have a diagnosable mental health condition, and 45,000 searches using the “find help” tool on twloha.com.
Students of professional surfing will know that Marks is one, maybe two, years from winning a World Surf League championship trophy, assuming the World Surf League exists in two years.
A wonderful prize, to be sure.
In any case, if you need any help at all, or know others who do reach out. TWLOHA is wonderful enough to make an old crank like me tear right up.
It’s anti-depressive!
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Justine Dupont (pictured) getting robbed.
French big wave surfer Justine Dupont explodes at WSL over Big Wave award ruling: “I am especially disappointed and ashamed of this league which claims to represent our sport!”
Early this morning, the World Surf League, now based in CEO Erik Logan’s Manhattan Beach bunker and stored next to his various flavors of Laird SuperFood and inspirational wall hangings featuring quotes from Stuart Smalley, released the long-anticipated winner of the cbdMD XXL Biggest Wave Award.
Per the press release:
Today, the World Surf League (WSL) announced that Maya Gabeira (Rio de Janeiro, Brazil) won the cbdMD XXL Biggest Wave Award and set the new World Record for the largest wave ever surfed by a woman. As part of the Red Bull Big Wave Awards (BWA), the BWA validated Gabeira’s ride as the new GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS™ title holder for the largest wave surfed (unlimited) – female.
“This wave was during the [WSL Nazaré Tow Surfing] contest and although I say I’m not a competitive person, I was very in the zone and braver than I usually am on this day,” said Gabeira. “I was risking more than I usually like to do. When I let go of the rope, I had a feeling it could be the one but wasn’t sure. The speed was very high but the noise that the wave made when it broke made me realize that this was probably the biggest wave I’d ever ridden.”
Gabeira’s record-setting wave measured 73.5 feet, besting her own previous World Record, 68 feet. She broke the record at the infamous big-wave surf break, Praia do Norte in Nazaré, Portugal, on February 11, 2020, as part of the WSL’s inaugural Nazaré Tow Surfing Challenge event. Although the men’s and women’s divisions are separate for this category, Gabeira’s ride also beat the men’s cbdMD XXL Biggest Wave, which was won by Kai Lenny (Paia, Hawaii) and measured 70 feet.
Today, the World Surf League (WSL) announced that Maya Gabeira (Rio de Janeiro, Brazil) won the cbdMD XXL Biggest Wave Award and set the new World Record for the largest wave ever surfed by a woman. As part of the Red Bull Big Wave Awards (BWA), the BWA validated Gabeira’s ride as the new GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS™ title holder for the largest wave surfed (unlimited) – female.
“This wave was during the [WSL Nazaré Tow Surfing] contest and although I say I’m not a competitive person, I was very in the zone and braver than I usually am on this day,” said Gabeira. “I was risking more than I usually like to do. When I let go of the rope, I had a feeling it could be the one but wasn’t sure. The speed was very high but the noise that the wave made when it broke made me realize that this was probably the biggest wave I’d ever ridden.”
Gabeira’s record-setting wave measured 73.5 feet, besting her own previous World Record, 68 feet. She broke the record at the infamous big-wave surf break, Praia do Norte in Nazaré, Portugal, on February 11, 2020, as part of the WSL’s inaugural Nazaré Tow Surfing Challenge event. Although the men’s and women’s divisions are separate for this category, Gabeira’s ride also beat the men’s cbdMD XXL Biggest Wave, which was won by Kai Lenny (Paia, Hawaii) and measured 70 feet.
Condemnation was swift and fierce from France’s Justine Dupont, who had been up for the award. Per her Instagram she declared:
https://www.instagram.com/p/CE9UDWMH1Wn/
The @wsl announced that the record for the biggest wave surfed would be awarded to a surfer who does not finish her wave. I decided to smile about it even though I am deeply hurt to be subjected to a decision that I believe is totally unfairI’m especially disappointed and ashamed of this league which claims to represent our sport . They are based on a report from scientists who use the word “approximate” in front of each of their statements. It is stipulated among other things that:
-The size of the 2 surfer girls is approximately identical: FALSE (at + or – 10cm) -Our two waves are approximately the same distance from the photographer: FALSE these are 2 different peaks on the biggest beach break in the world. -They define the bottom of the wave of my competitor about 2m below where the lip of the wave breaks. -Images of the other surfer were used after the publication deadline.
And much more ..
For the wave of men they arrive without a scientist to give an exact height of 70ft. For the women after postponing the decision for a month and consulting a dream team of scientists they come to the conclusion that my competitor’s wave is “approximately 2 or 3ft bigger.”
At first I wanted to scream, then cry, but eventually I prefer to keep smiling and my head held high. They won’t take away the pride and pleasure I have in surfing those big waves.
Thank you all for your messages. Thanks to the surf community and locals in Nazare for your support I am surrounded by an incredible team and people, I am fortunate to be supported by partners who believe in me, I am aware of it and fulfilled.
The season is starting and I know that I can surf even bigger waves without waiting for some records from them.
Fireworks.
Other professional surfers, and stars, were quick to weigh in.
Johanne Defay penned, “garde ton sourire, tu as raison (keep your smile, you’re right!).”
Big wave hero Lucas Chumbo added, “here’s nothing to do. No worries we have many years to try again and we know who is the best.”
Motocross racer Camille Chapeliere, “You are number 1!”
Etc.
Kelly Slater’s much valued opinion on race relations in the 21st century has not been added though is certain to be soon.
But how do you think WSL CEO Erik Logan is taking the criticism?
On the chin or is he hiding under a comfortable goose down duvet eating pints of Häagen-Dazs banana peanut butter chip?
Or chocolate sea salt caramel?
Honey salted caramel almond?
Wait.
What flavor of Häagen-Dazs does Logan use to soothe his emotions?
Regular chocolate?
There’s no way he eats regular chocolate is there?
