But danger lurks!
What’s cooler than being cool? Ice cold, of course, and the same investment fund managers, private chefs, social media CEOs, who furiously danced to Outkast’s Hey Ya! in 2003 have discovered a new way to freeze.
E-foils.
And The New York Times just published a wonderfully inspiring piece titled “That Person Floating Over the East River Is Riding a $12,000 Water Toy” which profiles Mr. Brian Sheehy, an investment fund manager living in Manhattan’s Upper East Side who, two years ago, saw something crazy on the internet.
“Videos of people who looked like they were flying over the water on futuristic contraptions.”
According to the Times, he became obsessed, purchased two as soon as they became available and taught himself to “ride the source.”
On every hero’s journey, after the hero has heeded the “call to adventure” and “crossed the threshold,” there comes the “tests and enemies.” Mr. Sheehy’s enemy was his wife, who has been driven crazy because there is no place to store the two e-foils in the Upper East Side apartment and they take up a lot of space so go on the deck, but her rotten attitude does not derail.
Mr. Sheehy stuffs his e-foil into Ubers, takes them to the East River and lives and flies above the water on his own futuristic contraption. Dreaming of someday making it around the Statue of Liberty.
He is not alone. Adam Kenworthy, private chef who appeared on Real Housewives of New York City cruises one, and Ritchie Lambertson, who started an e-foil school in the Hamptons, though he himself lives in Brooklyn.
Dangers lurk.
The battery might die, our heroes may get hit by a boat, pollution, impending regulation.
“The fishermen told me how dangerous the river is,” Mr. Sheehy told the Times. “It’s a famous dumping ground for bodies because they just disappear.”
Instructor Lambertson, who charges $450 for a private session, does his best to mitigate by not allowing students to e-foil the river until they have mastered calmer water.
All very cool but are you sold on the e-foiling life? Would you watch the World E-Foil League religiously or just catch it as you could?
Also, would you rather e-foil or have a super tricked out radio control boat? Like, the fastest radio control boat on the whole eastern seaboard.
Difficult questions for difficult times.
This was probably actually prescribed for him. Keeps from cutting, and burning itself.
TOP FIVE FUNNIEST MOVIES EVER MADE
1. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
2. Spinal Tap and/or Raising Arizona (tie)
4. Blazing Saddles (place holder for everything Mel Brooks has done)
5. Tropic Thunder and/or Men in Black and/or Princess Bride and/or Dr. Strangelove and/or Life of Brian and/or Blues Brothers and/or Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and/or Austin Powers.
Anyone? Anyone?
Which is joiny
The real housewives of New York City came to film at the bar I work at last fall. Finally a chance to interject a personal story somewhat related to the article into the comments of beachgrit! Sorry I don’t know any cool surfers guys and gals but I do know Sonja and the gang! No crazy story unfortunately. They did order two dozen oysters from me then ignore them on the bar for a half hour until one of them(maybe dorinda) slurpped em all in less than a minute throwing the shells down like peanuts while I tried to figure out what the fudge she was saying to me. I just nodded my head and watched her slurp the oysters. Then they drank a lotta bloody Marys and wine and argued and one of them hid under a table on the patio and another tried to make out with my friend. Fun times with the girls! Love talkin surf story with you guys I’m sure you were all wondering if the Countess was on the sauce again or not (she is!!!!!! As of last fall). I know, too much tea for one sitting. I’ll dish again next time. TTYL
You know, to be fair, I think those e-zoomers could be a great thing if they lead to lots of investment bankers drowning in the East River.
A radio controlled boat with a speaker?
“SELL! BUY! BUY! SELL! SELL!! BUY!!”
Ah Sean Penn , Wake up you Butthole Surfer ?
https://youtu.be/v-jPZAjD2UM
I had a dream ….. It was 1977 or 2020 , and I was angry and I shouted out to the heavens
“ Call all investment fund managers , living in Manhattan’s Upper East Side Boring Old Farts and SET LIGHT TO THEM ! “
I had no idea mimes were making that much coin. if they can afford the lessons and equipment there certainly no need for me to throw any coins in the cup.
Mime is money.
If you’ve got the money, Honey, then I’ve got the mime.
I think Mark saw that video that Tom Curren did and assumed it was a thing.
I’m going full on for a new career – E-Foil coach.
Just can’y go wrong…
I think that would get me straight up banned. Appreciate the time and effort though! Positive vibes!!
I once overpaid for a surftech minimal. The Viby blonde sales dude from HSS said this is the future of surfing, so off course I wanted to be a part of that.
Months later and 800$ short – hipsters with unbuttoned shirts started riding old school style handmade boards that didn’t look like mine – and I was ostracized in the line up.
Lesson of the story: hipsters will save the culture of our sport and the saving grace from corporate takeover.
I saw a rep for the company demo-ing these near on a beach near me last year. He was charging 200 bucks just for a test drive.
I love New York. Its a riot.
Does anyone want to suggest a comment that I can post and Ntron can come and delete? Brainstorming is key…
Why are you here? You clearly have nothing to add, yet comment on every article having a sook about Negs. Get over it. Or at the very least stop typing.
Because its a free country. Wait, are you from North Korea?
If you are, can you hook me up with that surfing resort after covid restrictions are less strict?
Be careful, it may be a free country–but some web-sites only practice freedom till you say something they don’t agree with, and you rub someone the wrong way–and then they take the easy way out with the D. word. Delete..
B for bubbles? I dont’t know seems like that mentality of “I bring the ball, therefore I have to win” is what happened. Also, I think that for someone who writes about anything and don’t take themselves so serious, they are taking this thing too serious. Good times when everything was about the “smith/goggans gate” on the comment section. Sarcasm is dead anyways.
I see what you did there. Now that you change the letter, I might have to go back and edit my comment too. Or not
He’s right, it is a free country.
Yep, I suggest you head your lame ass over to Stab and let them delete your stupid fucking comments. They delete them everyday as long as you are having a go at Ashole.
Negs already told you that your comments are lame and thats why he deleted it. Give it a rest ya fucking gnat.
Another melt down. Dude you should try meditation.
You can get a ‘lame’ comment deleted? That might shut down half the comment section on the Internet.
That was my point!! Anyway I am done with my cruzade, pretty sure my point was made. Ntron can have his website all for himself, eventhough I thought Chas was the owner here.
Neg is one of the few mods ever to feature his own comments.
He’s special.
Hahaha
Has this really happened?
Oh yea. He loves to exercise his power and remind us he’s The Boss..
If you are trying to banned by BG, good luck. The only ones these guys ban are Ben Marcus and Bickerton but you don’t have the literary balls to hang with either. Somehow Bexy nevers gets banned, maybe he has some tips for you. Either way, you should head back over to Stab, fits your whinging ways much better.
You missed me? Must have, since I wasn’t talking to you and you decided to pick my comment to reply. Anywhom, freedom of speech allows you to say homophobic and dark stuff, and I guess it allows me to say things the way I want. Only note that I am not attacking anyone, or am I half as agitaded as you are.
Barrelled …. I have never been banned from BG ….. as far as I know , unlike Lex (Luther) Rex Bex who sometimes pushes the envelope too far , flies like Icarus to close to the sun ( hubris ) and burns his wings , falls from grace and like the the Phoenix from the ashes , rises up … only to fall again .
Post something negative about groupies who watch pro surfing–that should do it.
Something tells me I would actually get an upvote for that.
No, a negative post about the Wsl or the state of pro surfing might, would probably, get you an upvote– but put something negative about people who follow pro surf surfing and pro surf stars– and look out………
down voted you, figured if you can rack up a few of those he will remove the comment. hope it was helpful. good luck.
That is the kind of thinking outside of the box that we need in multinational companies. Interested on a high desk job? Its a job on a high desk if you are wondering…
sounds tempting but I am too fat to dance with you. good luck with your crusade. I genuinely hope you achieve your goal of deleted comments but might I suggest setting your goal higher and get yourself banned. now that would be great story at the water cooler.
I am done with my crusade. Funny how people got really all stired up. Ntron must be one lovable dude, pretty much everyone on his side. Or could that be the fear of being deleted? It is pretty blury for me at this point…
that would be the chlorine, sorry I can’t stick around and engage in this riveting thread any further, important things to take care of . have to think up a reasonable excuse why the work truck is not at the depot and how it ended up in the pub car park with a large cock painted on the door, then I need to scratch my arse with a spatula.
Negatron reasonable guy, doing thankless job. Not blurry and not worth discussing I think.
Hang out for a bit. Stop being a bitch.
And it’s Negs.
https://youtu.be/XnhbSvOffwA
It’s called intimidation….
It’s called intimidation, after you’ve been temporarily banned, say, for 2 weeks or 30 days, you’ll have a better understanding of it. It helps keep people in their place…… I speak from experience……….
It’s called intimidation, after you’ve been temporarily banned, say, for 2 weeks or 30 days, you’ll have a better understanding of it. It helps keep people in their place…… I speak from experience……..
Robot has a soft spot for those dudes that are arguing about the big wave ribbon…..
He really does
I had a friend that fell in the East River….. we now call him Swamp Thing
Rumor is ELo, wanting to actually produce some content, rather than just say he’s producing it, has reached out to creators to write a script about surfing, but focused on SUPping and/or foiling, which in his VAL mind he considers to actually be real… anyway, the rumor being true and totally not made up, I sent a little something for him to consider*…
The story features three pro surfers, Laird Hamilton, Kai Lenny, and Keanu Taylor, and is about their business together as professional e-foiling instructors/yogis, providing lessens to various tech bros, investment dudes, and rich lonely housewives. Laird owns the e-foil teacher business and is driven by greed to become even richer. Kai is the star employee of the Laird owned business, bringing in all sorts of money, who is slowly becoming disillusioned with the e-foil instructor life, replete with it servicing of needy egomaniacs and lonely housewives (emotionally and sexually), semen coffee creamers, intermittent fasting, turmeric, HGH injections, self-promotion, and no junk food consumption. Keanu is the new employee who gets caught up in the lifestyle, getting into it so deep, at one point he ends up moving in with Zuck and taking sponsorship money from GymShark. The story really centers around Kai grooming Keanu as his heir to being the big money maker, but then deciding he wants out because he just wants to make love to and hangout only with his girlfriend (played by Ellie-Jean Coffey), instead of the various powerful people he has had to for the job (mostly their wives… because apparently cuckholding fetish is a real thing), surf non-electronic foils in big waves, and to eat Taco Bell. Laird is encouraging them both to go after bigger and bigger fish. Eventually Keanu ends up having sex with the wife of some powerful guy who is not into it (the powerful guy not wife) and gets in trouble for insider trading stocks that he somehow procured from some investment banker client guy for some reason. Kai has to somehow bail him out, even though he doesn’t really have to, because nothing was ever going to happen to Keanu, as no one cares and he was never going to be charged. Kai quits and runs off with his girlfriend to Palm Springs to become a water park lifeguard and his girlfriend’s assistant (she works, too, starting an OnlyFans). Keanu stays with Laird, continuing to make money as a private instructor.
*He loves it!!
Semen coffee creamers? Kai’s soul being crushed?
Genius.
you lost me at Laird. upvote based on previous works.
Season 2 could start off with a half corpse floating in the east river by Laird’s school. Was it an accident? Or is ‘foil’ play at hand? Only a grizzled, nuggety private detective with an eye for surfing-adjacent homicides will know the answer.
An epic crossover event! Agent Ike Ferreira, DEA, is brought onto the case after local detectives discover cocaine, in Carrapatos branded (Ike’s coke dealer’s surfer gang) baggies, on the victim. Wondering how such product, manufactured for the hardcore surf pro/community consumer, landed in the hands of a reasonably successful middle aged Wall Street day trader, Ike lures Kai back to New York to help solve the case with the idea of settling unfinished business he has with his former calling (e-foil sales rep/teacher/evangelist), unknowingly also working to help Ike cover up his addiction and association with the specific distributor of the drugs. In the process of solving the case, Kai is about to find out about Ike when his girlfriend is discovered having OD’d on the same branded coke (facilitated by Ike, who senses he’s about to be found out) and having a heart attack, which causes him to go back to Palm Springs to take care of her and re-think his future. He decided at the end of the season that he is going to become a private investigator, in order to work out who was responsible for getting his girlfriend the drugs and avenge her, and resolves himself to become licensed.
Oh yes of course I forgot he was with the DEA, I think he just used his private investigator license when outside of his jurisdiction in Australia to investigate a group of bank robbing murfers. But it’s all coming full circle now.
The Ex-PM’s wives!!!
Who could forget the episode where Blanche went for the safe?
And Janette got shot and bled out mid drop on the way to the remote south oz hideout.. she was so cold.
Season 3, Ike in Rehab–>retox.
is this a true story?
Passé. Snorting E off of foil is so last century.
“Ride the source”
I can’t decide what’s kookier – if he was intentionally quoting Point Break or if he didn’t realize it.
Nobody said that. It was me putting my own words in quotes and being a jerk. Sorry to all New York City e-foilers
MR SMITH , Don’t let the truth stop you from creating your own jerk quotes ! This is BG and not National Geographic and we , your humble , fact checkers , are totally flexible …
I’m sure they know they all know PB more word for word than non e-foli types – and have Fukkaburg on speed dial. Not an e-coincidence.