"Shhhhh... I'm not allowed to do anything but if I pinch your nose, you'll die faster."
"Shhhhh... I'm not allowed to do anything but if I pinch your nose, you'll die faster."

New South Wales residents infuriated as lifeguards cancel mouth-to-mouth resuscitation: “(It) would haunt you forever if you knew you could save someone but were told not to!”

Peak Covid absurdity?

Australia is rounding the bend toward its first full Covid summer, heat, crowds on the beach, etc. A break from routine, surfing, swimming, remembering that it is possible to enjoy life again. Or possible as long as a lung-full of water is taken in New South Wales and a lifeguard is present.

Typically, a lifeguard would be a welcome addition to any post-near drowning resuscitation scene but not this year for this year mouth-to-mouth has been canceled and the lifeguard must idly stand by and watch vitality slowly drain away from the victim until the only thing left is a cold, grey corpse.

In a Saturday announcement, Surf Life Saving NSW Chief Executive Steve Pearce said, “We’ll no longer be doing mouth to mouth resuscitation, we’ll still be doing CPR.” NSW Emergency Services Minister David Elliott added, “Of course there are going to be changes to the interaction that the Surf Life Savers have with beachgoers and that will see a change to the way that they conduct mouth to mouth. I don’t believe that anybody’s life will be at risk but it shouldn’t be a reason for people to be complacent.”

The cancellation of mouth-to-mouth has angered many with people sharing frustrations on social media.

“If someone is pulled from the water and mouth to mouth could save them (young child etc) I would be doing the mouth to mouth to save a life, that would haunt you forever if you knew you could save someone but were told not to.”

“I think if I was dying I’d rather catch (COVID-19) off the person who just breathed for me until I can do it on my own.”

“There’s something wrong about this. If it can save a life, isn’t that good?”

Etc.

Also not mentioned, but equally serious, is how many couplings will be thwarted by handsome/beautiful lifeguards not allowed to breathe life into handsome/beautiful victims.

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But have we reached peak absurdity with the Coronavirus pandemic yet? If someone is literally and actually dying in front of a lifeguard they will not be allowed to save them due to an extremely low-percentage theoretical death?

Or do we have a ways to go before peak absurdity?

More as the story develops.

Mouth to Mouth with Mouse and Matt Dee: Bondi Fashion
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Brandon
Brandon
5 years ago

I’m a first responder and a CPR instructor in the States and we don’t do mouth to mouth CPR anymore and when we teach lifeguards they don’t as well. We have BVM (bag masks) and pocket masks to protect ourself not necessarily from COVID but for a broad range of diseases. When we teach lay people CPR it is now compressions only because the most important part of CPR is circulating the blood flow to the heart until higher level of care gets there. It just sounds like they are just getting with the times.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago

Coulourized? I saw some white people in there.

@surfads
@surfads
5 years ago

It’s only the Sunday volunteer lifeguards this refers to. You know, the ones whose only skills are applying three tonnes of zinc to their pasty white bodies, putting the flags up on the best bank on the beach and then proceeding to ride 10 foot long paddle boards leashless through the middle Of it anyway. They’re so hopeless they couldn’t catch coronavirus if they tried.

Professional lifeguards know what’s up.

Surfy McSurfyface
Surfy McSurfyface
5 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

And stopping compressions to give breaths has been on the outer for a few years now in CPR yer? Last first aid course I did they said it took about 10 compressions to build up the blood pressure to make compressions affective, so stopping constantly to administer the small percentage of oxygen in a breath out was counterproductive.

Nick?

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
5 years ago

Yeah OK

That’s pretty much the case. It actually takes between 20 and 30 compressions to push blood through the brain. That’s why the old CPR rhythm was changed about 15 years ago from 2/15 to 2/30. These days they advise you to do the compressions alone if need be, it’s pretty much as effective in a short resuscitation. There’s usually a lot of oxygen in the blood anyway so if you squeeze it through the brain a few times, even without applying mouth to mouth, you’ll keep the brain alive.

In a longer resusc, the real life and death shit, there’s no way you’d bail on breath just because of Covid. No lifeguard or skilled up lifesaver would anyway. Most lifeguard resuscitations are done with oxygen applied using a mask in any case.

ps you want to save someone’s life, call the fucken ambos. the cell phone is the best rescue device ever invented.

janeausten
janeausten
5 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
5 years ago
Reply to  janeausten

Fantastic work girls! now off to the BeachGrit mansion for a rub down.

Ricky Spanish
Ricky Spanish
5 years ago

If you die because a lifeguard can’t give you mouth to mouth would the offical cause of death be drowning or Covid?

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
5 years ago

A sort of tube with filters in could work.
My ancient (and often dulled by additives) braincells are trying to remind me of a similar thing when the ‘Aids’ scare first hit back in the olden days…

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
5 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

Felch straws?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

Thanks V … you’ll be Super Stylin’ with Groove Armada

https://youtu.be/_kE0pxRkMtQ

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago

Elvis was a hero to most but he was no MP to me.

https://www.youtube.com/wat…

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

Such a great band
My favorite is Willow Tree
https://youtu.be/QDZK-i8m4Lo

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
5 years ago

Mouth condoms?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

To protect the swallow tales ?

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
5 years ago

So no $50, over-priced Coffey gets spilled.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

I can’t comment … with my mouth full …

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
5 years ago

Dental dam?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

The old Australian Surf Life Saving Motto was

VIGILANCE AND SERVICE

but this summer it will now be changed to something more modern

LIFEGUARDS …. WE SAVE … OURSELVES

( off course this is tongue in cheek … pro lifeguards at Cronulla do a great job , a lot of talented watermen , and I have the utmost respect for them ( Iredale etc ) but the weekend warriors are such PESTS )

It’s a lottery out there ( surf lifesaving lottery that is ) in the not waving , drowning waters of NSW

Ps If a great white shark Jay walks …… who will protect it ?

If Jimmy Slade could not have kissed Pam on Baywatch would this world be a better place ?

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago

One Urban* legend of a clubbie was kicked out of SLSA for harassing one of the blokes surfing near the flags, (not in), in a rubber duckie. Driving at speed at him. He was reported by a number of concerned people that they had to do something about the clown.

His brother is a guitarist, and he may have been acting out on fraternal jealousy.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

Must be a first …. For years I thought that Weekend Warriors believed , attempting to run over a surfer in a rubble duckie , or surf boat ( F@kin Scary ) was part of the job description .

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
5 years ago

Peak Coronavirus absurdity will always be this…
“To sit inside him at Pipe on a west swell and watch the crowd part—reverently, not fearfully—as he chipped in to a twilight second reef grower was to witness the most gorgeous poise and control under pressure and a deceptively zen economy of movement.

I’d enjoyed a few brief encounters with Uncle Derek over the years, exchanged pleasantries in the backyard at the Volcom Gerry House, and in the lineup at Pipe.“

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
5 years ago

Hahahahaha!

Owen Wright's Brains
Owen Wright's Brains
5 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

That douche slapped you like a little bitch. I bet you wondered whether your wife would get him back for ya.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
5 years ago

Even more hahahahaha! And no. I was worried that he’d try to get me arrested for assault. Again.

Owen Wright's Brains
Owen Wright's Brains
5 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Gotta slap back, bruh.*
*except if it’s a Samoan or something.

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
5 years ago

I still shudder with reverent empathetic embarrassment for old mate each time this gem is referenced.

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago

Personally I feel the ‘and’ between ‘poise’ and ‘control’ should be replaced by a comma.
But I’m not one for stirring up needless trouble.


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