A musical on the horizon?
But what a coup those Sisters Coffey just pulled right smack in the middle of a Coronavirus pandemic. Grabbing more eyeballs, more headlines, more clicks, clacks, conversation in one week than the World Surf League has since a nice man from Wuhan, China ate a bat in December, 2019.
A deluge.
Much of the news has been how “loaded suggestions” are not being delivered and as I sat on a deck on the Baja peninsula, overlooking an empty point, chatting with David Lee Scales about the week’s surf news which was, again, exclusively Coffey, had a revelation.
What if they are modern day flim-flam gals? Snake oil saleswomen? Out looking for those suckers born every minute but in a real old-school way? Rolling in to town promising the peach and skedaddling with purses full of jingly dimes fully clothed?
Oh my, I see a grand musical theater production with a cast of ripped-off surfers, angry librarians, a frustrated Erik Logan with pockets turned inside out and a big frown on his face. Probably wearing suspenders.
Derek Rielly also in a starring role.
Karl Von Fanningstad can write the lyrics and… who wants to do set design? Oh I’m getting ahead of myself here.
But do you see it?
Feel it?
Listen here.
Or watch.
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I’ll listen to it later.
They mention you a lot
….you mean snake oil salesman like one of the greatest Simpson’s episodes of all time: The Monorail https://youtu.be/ZDOI0cq6GZM
“You know, a town (or in the case of paying for porn, man/woman) with money is a little like the mule with a spinning wheel. No one knows how he got it, and danged if he knows how to use it”
Lyle Langley
c 1993
Would pay $1000 not to see Chas’ nipples.
Fuck all this noise.
People are in charge of their own bodies.
They can do whatever the fuck they want with them.
And let’s not act like advertising is truth, ok?
How many time are we swindled day in and out and don’t say a goddamn thing. But, somehow, now is the time to chime in…
Funny how outrage and top clicks always spark when these situation arise.
Don’t think anyone really cares that they are doing their thing?
There’s no surfing on expect some clips here and there, so it’s sharks or peaches. Lets go with the peaches and tiddies for a while!
that movie reference title.
I think I’ll have to dig out that album of ‘greatest hits’ by the Coffee Tables.
It’s almost the anniversary isn’t it?
Saccharine sweet.
Who would let their daughter star in
Cuties 2 The next generation?
CHAS?
Astro has seen it 10 times and can’t see anything wrong with it.
[snort]
Dikkus.
Who are all these talking heads, talking about surfing?
Why are they all so draaaaaaaaaab? Unkempt? Tattooed? Uninspired? Draaaaaaabbbbbb?
Where’s Buttons? Where’s Bertlemann? Where’s Kong? Where’s Robbie Page? Where’s Gerlach?
Brad Gerlach in person was/is one of the funniest people on the planet: A world-class mimic.
When did surfers become so damned predictable and boring and repetitive and predictable and boring?
Where’s Shaun? Where’s PT? Where’s Johnny Boy? Where’s Greg Noll?
Where’s Mike Purpus? Where’s JJ Moon? Where’s Corky?
Where’s Brock? Well I know where Brock is (RIP)
Oh and the Malloys? I just emailed C and D and told them how smart they are to live in the 19th Century.
Chris Malloys shaka skit was pretty good.
What the f@##$ happened to all the smart, colorful characters that used to illuminate the surfing world?
Do you think its sad that I have adjusted my goals in life…i really have only one on my list now…to be mentioned in a beachgrit article!
I always lived by the mantra of…set your goals really low, and you may avoid disappointment
I so love my Sunday morning coffee
But i can’t help but think of simpler times, when one only had to chose between the flat white, espresso…cappuccino
The introduction of the hipster crowd has seen us overrun with varieties…the doppia, ristretto, machismo…Cafe mocha
Its quite the minefield
I am enjoying the latest creation to hit the menu though…the slutty mole
That the same dude Trump has sucked off for 4 years? He’s got a lineup of Putin, Erdogan, and that crazy dude from NK to sprinkle in with his porn star harem. Dude is a feckless coward. Enjoy his little marshmallow dick in your mouth, Tim.
More Coffee anyone? https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
“Guaranteed Thrills – The Racing League?!? Racing the WSL? Ad algorithms these days aren’t even coy anymore. AI knows, EJC must have built AI’s confidence.
Haha
I didn’t notice that., very apt.
The article is explosive!!!
Guaranteed more friends getting thrills
Terrifying abuse …. like Sunburn , nipple rash , and blue bottle stings ?
And these
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Hybrid ? Penis plus Coffey = Penis Fish
Post heat coach debriefing
Not as nasty as the one in the Amazon that swims up your penis ….?
« Candiru is a tiny Amazonian parasitic catfish reported to swim into urethral and other body openings of unprotected bathers.«
I always wear a condom while swimming the Amazon, staying hard is problematic
Get Amazon to deliver Viagra … unless of course it is a premature ejaculation problem because there is so far no cure ….. but I heard it’s coming quickly ?
So far, all I’ve got out of the comments is how many of you mincers are into musicals.
I think I’ve seen every single musical from 1950 to 1980 at least 10 , 20 , 30 times
What changed for you in 1981?You must have had buckets of free time on your hands, what with all the not going to musicals and stuff.
Surfing and my loins were ready to make music to the beat of a different drum .
Rubics cube!
I’m a pretty free wheeling, pant swinging modern man of inclusivity… but fuck I hate musicals
I say that usually but then I think: Jungle Book -musical. Little Shop of Horrors- musical. The list goes in.
Nah fuck ’em
I’m with you but I can get into Peter Sellers The Party-
https://youtu.be/n7pTR8DpaIo
That was a hilarious film! The scene where he gets TP stuck on his shoe and trails it all the way outside and into his car!!!
It really is. The brown face makeup and cheesy accent are great. I’m going to have to watch it again
I dunno Lems, I reckon between us we could knock out a pretty good surf/metal-adjacent musical.
Beach Blanket Banjo
Well, the band played a party last night for about 40-50 punters. We have been voted the 4th best surf/punk/jazz/metal/leather band in Peregian Beach. Not sure if that qualifies us for ‘muiscal’, but we closed the set with ’10 Sock’. And I wore a BG t-shirt for the show. Represent!
Link to a soundchecked song.
https://www.facebook.com/17…
Bravo!
I can’t listen
Dont have account
Post a YouTube link?
It’s not my video and I can’t access it any other way at the moment. Will try…
Getting writing then Bernie (Taupin).
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
A flock ….of sheep .
Hark ! A Shark ….Who will save the madding crowd from the Angry White Pointer ?
where is Jen, we need a female opinion on this coffee caper.
Perhaps See Shells Sea Shells by the Sea Shore ….
Bloody tough critic giving a down vote for my poem about the highly respected Dr Jen SEE …. SEE is her name …( at least here )
Probly busy getting hers set up.
I might pay for that
See more ?
Probably ran off with a Surfline Man in a 4×4 Sprinter Van
They are only human …. giggles .
Right … you’re in
This sounds an awful lot like the musical The Great Gatsby, but since we here at Beach Grit are fervent fans of satire, might I suggest the title The Great Gaps Buy.
Or a remake of M Butterfly with a narcissistic Kanoa Igarashi playing all parts … An American in love with a Japanese in love with an American in love with a Japanese man / boy / woman ?
Butterfly? Japanese lead? Sounds like we need a Godzilla vs. Mothra scene. And paying homage to the first great surf musical, North Shore, but especially Turtle, we’ll have to have a Godzilla vs. Gamera scene.
Sounds like a job for boys …. BEASTIE BOYS
With backing vocals by Stephen Hawking …. ?
I can picture Kanoa as a big, giant, scary Hello Kitty, with some sort of hair bleaching superpower.
Here he is in a former life as a TOKYO SHOCK BOY
Speaking of Tokyo crosswalks…
https://youtu.be/nTWawW25pq0
What do you get when you mix a knight with a Fairy ?
Sir Brian Ferry … Tokyo Joe
Just when I think I’m turning Japanese, it looks more like a Kanoater Floater that falls flat.
https://youtu.be/IWWwM2wwMww
The Kanoater Floater …. worth Yen but being paid $ by judges .
It’s all about the Yenjamins.
James, please get your spelling write, he’s transitioned and prefers ‘Igarshi’, as evidenced by his last contest costume.
Your wish is my command…. Igarshi rhymes with Fugazi …. well almost
If he changes his mind , again , and decides to surf for , let’s say for example …umm ..Russia ( might restart the Cold War ? ) can we call him Kan Igor Shitinyouresky …
There’s a video of Guy Picciotto interviewing Ed Kuepper about the Aint’s album. It’s nice.
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
The Great Scatsby
1800-SHATCAM
https://youtu.be/bKTqHsMqkb0