Breaking: Hurley beard softer, charcoal peel-off mask for men, hit shelves just in time for the Holiday season!

"...a classically surf bourbon and oak essence."

But what do you get for the man who has everything plus a coarse beard and not so clear skin? The very latest product offering from iconic surf brand Hurley, of course, which has released it’s Hurley for Men line just ahead of the holidays.

Whether he celebrates Hanukkah, Chanukkah, Christmas, Kwanza, Solstice or is a humanist who routinely denies the reason for the season, he will be entirely thankful to find Hurley for Men under the menorah, tree, green and black candle set up, bobblehead statue of Bill Maher.

The beard softener, which features a classically surf bourbon and oak essence, promises to soften and condition both beard and scruff.

The charcoal peel-off mask eliminates impurities while, at the same time, refreshing.

And surfing has conquered such fabulous worlds, from Costco’s shelves to Erik Logan’s heart, but is any as fabulous as Hurley for Men?

I think no.

I think, maybe, never in the future too.

Thai policeman in extremely hot water for brandishing 9mm Glock during raid of surfing school: “I have asked them to move and warned them twice before, but they just ignored me!”

A national drama!

As the world goes shutters once more in an attempt to slow the spread of Covid-19, moods are mixed sad and happy. Sad because no more drinking in bars, dining in restaurants, shopping in shoe stores. Happy because the wonderful genre of lock-lit gets a revival.

You certainly recall the previous run of brilliant stories detailing police dragging surfers off South African beaches, Victorian surfers weeping and gnashing their teeth unable to leave their state to go and tube the Superbank, Californian surfers catching heavy tickets for enjoying Asian-fusion cuisine near the sand.

Extremely exciting and today we have the tale of Mr Sanya, who was said to be carrying a 9mm Glock when he and four other officers arrived at the beach, near Kamala, and seized Jirachaya Sitthichoke surfing equipment.

The Phuket News report has the entire country of Thailand up in “arms” with this intoxicating admixture of he said/she said, correct police procedure and Austrian vs. German manufacturing superiority.

Apparently, Ms Jirachaya, who conducted the surfing class on the beach, was taken aback when Mr Sanya rocked up to seize her equipment with his Glock and filed an official complaint that he was in a public place with a un-permitted firearm.

Kamala Chief Police Col Chaiyapreuk Phadiwarakorn confirmed that the formal complaint was filed, saying, “(Mr Sanya) said he had permission to carry the handgun as had previously served as Kathu District Chief. We are not sure yet whether this is correct. We are still looking into the matter.”

Mr Saya said the raid was being carried out because no commercial activities are allowed on that stretch of beach. “I have asked them to move and warned them twice before, but they just ignored me. So yesterday we arrived at the beach and asked them to move again, and asked them to pay a fine of B200 as a warning. They still just ignored me, so we seized their equipment…” adding, “I have the authority to carry my gun as I previously worked with the Kathu District Office. The Kamala OrBorTor chief has also agreed for me to carry my gun while on duty. This is normal. There is no need to be worried, there is no need for any tourists to worry.”

BeachGrit will continue paying close attention to developments here but, in the meantime, do you feel Austria’s Glock or Germany’s SIG Sauer is a better weapon?

Much to ponder.

Aye-aye cap'nperson.
Aye-aye cap'nperson.

Controversy: Seafaring Brits infuriated by BBC, revolt against “Woke Auntie” as revered news organization replaces toxic word “fishermen” with inclusive “fisherpeople!”

"I'm losing it."

Oh bother. And if there was one thing proud Great Britain did not need it was a kerfuffle over its English language but, amidst eternal Brexit negotiations, a Coronavirus pandemic and Boris Johnson here we are for the nation’s proud, revered news organization, the British Broadcasting Corporation, has decided to drop the toxic and triggering word “fishermen” and replace it with the more inclusive “fisherpeople.”

The change occurred on Radio 4’s Today program and sparked instant backlash as fisherpeople took to social media to decry the change, the BBC’s continuing “wokeness” and to point out that a tiny fraction of commercial fisherpeople in the country are women.

Ashley Mullenger, who calls herself the ‘female fisherman,’ joined the fight and told the Daily Mail she only knows of six women also doing her job in the entire United Kingdom.

The BBC’s style guide declares: “Unless you are sure only males are involved, avoid words such as ‘newsmen, ‘businessmen’ and ‘policemen.'” And a spokesperson, when reached for comment, insisted that there was no “ban” on fishermen though “fisherpeople” was perfectly acceptable.

Anchor Piers Morgan, who used to be almost cable news famous in the United States, took to the airwaves infuriated.

“Here’s the point, it’s a rough old job, on the trawler boats on the rough high seas. I’ve never seen a woman on a trawler boat doing that. There must be some, I guess, but is there a single woman in the country who actually trawls for fish professionally… the whole language is being changed from fisherman to fisherpeople. There are certain jobs that women don’t like to do. And it may be that in a trawler, rough and tough in the North Sea at midnight on a Wednesday in January, it’s not up there on the to-do-list of the equality brigade.”

How much time do you think Piers Morgan has spent commercially trawling in the North Sea?

A few months a year?

More to our point, should we change the outdated and exclusionary word “surfer” for “surferpeople?”

Should DJ Paul Fisher change his potentially offensive last name/stage name to Fisherperson?

Much to ponder.

Warshaw, sexy at sixty. | Photo: Chris Burkard/Matt Warshaw collection

Surf historian Matt Warshaw launches fundraiser to increase scope of Encylopedia of Surfing website: “A huge number of surf movies and magazines will vanish forever if we don’t grab ‘em. It’s tedious but incredibly necessary work!”

Come for Warshaw’s sizzling prose; stay and save surf culture from the Great VAL replacement… 

I’ll begin this story with an obscenity: the surf historian Matt Warshaw, sixty years old, earns twenty-five thousand dollars a year as the custodian of the sport’s entire media catalogue.

Ain’t it crazy?

Earlier today I asked Warshaw, if he ever dreamed that, one day, he’d be earning the majestic sum of twenty-five thousand dollars a year.

Warshaw, whose brow is marked by a thousand anxieties, is, necessarily I think, good humoured about his modest stipend.

“Last week I was trying to figure out if I’m earning more now, at 60, then when I was a 25-year-old sub-editor at SURFER,” he said. “Same pay in terms of dollars, but adjust for cost of living and I’m way down in 2020. That’s okay. Jeff Bezos pays (wife) Jodi, she lets me do EOS, I take our kid to all his orthodontic appointments, and let’s call it even.”

Now, seeking funds to expand the reach of the Encyclopedia of Surfing, he’s asking for a little help.

The EOS 2020 fundraiser is 100% dedicated to raising money to buy more work hours. The site should be growing faster. Just look at the Surfboards section. Seven boards posted so far. There should be 100 on there by now, and more added weekly. The Contest section is way behind too, and I know a lot of you aren’t into competition but if you open those pages you will find some amazing little time capsules. (Try the 1959 Makaha Championships, and don’t forget to hit play on the video clip.)

Finally, there is a staggering amount of material—magazines, books, movies, video, photos, and more—that needs to be collected, digitized, archived, and databased. This is a project unto itself. Ultimately, in fact, it is the most important part of the EOS mission. A huge number of surf movies and videos are yet digitized, for example, and will vanish forever if we don’t grab ’em. SURFER and Surfing magazines, and dozens of other titles, have not yet been scanned. This is the tedious but incredibly necessary work that will continue long after I hit “send” on my final Joint, and the more we get done now, the better.

So let’s raise 30K. EOS needs another pair of hands. Two pair would be even better. I’d like a small raise, too, if I’m being honest. 

Here is a shameless feel-good EOS clip designed to trigger the credit-card extension reflex. 

Donate here.  Subscriber or buy a gift sub here.

When I asked Warshaw what satisfaction the site gave him, he said,

“It’s like moving into a house and figuring out where all the furniture and art goes. You like doing that or you don’t. I love it. Although I don’t expect anybody to understand how or why the job is as satisfying as it is. My first date with Jodi, we were walking to Cafe Claude for lunch and I was going on and on about databasing, as I’d gotten on top of Filemaker Pro, which means you’ve defeated the First Boss in the surf history game. We got past that very awkward moment, had lunch, and got married.”

Thirty bucks a year to subscribe. Terrific value. 

Bombshell: Powerful Islamic parties seek total booze ban in Indonesia; happy drinkers could face two years in jail and $5000 fines!

"Strong drinks and games of chance and idols and divining of arrows are only an infamy of Satan's handiwork."

Shocking news just in from the Jakarta Globe. Powerful Islamic parties, who control a third of the seats in Indonesia’s House of Representatives, want to ban the sale, production, distribution and consumption of any beverage containing alcohol.

Indonesia, of course, has become a repository for the some of the world’s keenest drinkers, the tropical heat and endless open-air bars, particularly in Bali, making the consumption of booze an all-day ritual.

Roughly one third of Bali’s tourists come from Australia, who also enjoy its conduciveness to street-fighting, silly pranks and so on.

Indonesia is also the world’s biggest Muslim nation, home to thirteen percent of its almost two billion Muhammadans and booze, ooowee, it haraam.

Muhammad, y’see, said alcohol’s potential for sin outweighed its medicinal value, something I think is very easy to agree with.

Peel open your Qur’an to Surah Al-Maidah where Allah says:

“O ye who believe ! Strong drinks and games of chance and idols and divining of arrows are only an infamy of Satan’s handiwork. Leave it aside in order that ye may succeed. Satan seeketh only to cast among you enmity and hatred by means of strong drink and games of chance, and turn you from remembrance of Allah and from (His) worship. So will ye not then abstain?”

Al-Qur’an 5:90-91

Who hasn’t lost a telephone to a cross-dressing pixie while boozed in Bali or tried to annihilate a wall of night-club bouncers, confidence inflated by arak-based cocktails?

Bit of push-back from bar owners and politicians in Bali, that little Hindu enclave east of Jakarta, as you can imagine.

The head of Bali’s regional legislative council, AA Ngurah Adi Ardhana, said the proposal was “shallow and a piece of Islamic self-interest” and that it is “too superficial; Bali will definitely reject it. We are a unitary state built on diversity, and the potential economic impact involved is unacceptable.”