Watch stray rat surf typhoon in Philippines and inspire entire nation: “Rats can cause diseases that make people’s lungs to bleed but we didn’t hurt it because we thought it was especially gifted!”


I feel we, as a group, regularly forget the restorative, spiritually soothing, uniting power of our surfing. We, all caught up with our nihilism and quit-lit, not remembering that wetsuits can be suits of armor. That wave riding unites us all.

And so we, as a group, are expressly thankful, today, to the Filipino sewer rat who taught us we are all one. Oh, not only humans but all living creatures, even ones that cause diseases that make human lungs bleed, and what better lesson can we learn, especially in this Covid-19-era?

But let us not tarry. Let us fly directly to Manila, which I loved as a child because it sounds like “vanilla.”

For it was in Manila, hammered by Typhoon Vamco, with flooded streets etc. that a sewer rat hopped on a piece of wood and began to surf.

Yamzon Santos, there on the street, declared, “He’s a survivor. He looks so cold and he’s shivering but he’s very smart.”

Thinking more about what was being witnessed, Santos continued, “Rats can cause diseases such as leptospirosis but we didn’t hurt it because we thought it was especially gifted. Who am I to do something bad to the rat? That poor little creature only wanted to survive. It made me realised that every living creature wants to be saved in a natural calamity.”

Leptospirosis, again, is a disease that makes human lungs bleed.

But the surfing rat is bigger than that. Bigger than Covid-19 or any such trouble. Surfing is a uniter, a shining path.

God bless the surfing rat.

Also, I put “Shining Path” near the very top of the list of names for revolutionary Marxist groups of all time. Where do you put it?

An Oceanside local's impression of JS' arrival into the US market.

Incandescent Oceanside locals turn heat up on iconic Australia-based JS Surfboards: “They have a scorched earth plan… it’s like freaking locusts descending on us!”

"They are coming in and taking money from everybody, from retailers to board builders and everybody in between."

One week ago, it was reported, here, that the gorgeous new six-thousand square-feet JS Surfboards warehouse in Oceanside, forty miles north of San Diego, had been tagged with the phrase: “you fuk up! fuck ozz. O’side. Get out!!!”

Australian Jason Stevenson, who is one of the world’s great shapers and owner of the epoynmous brand, began his pivot to the US market five months ago when he sponsored Conner Coffin, a Channel Islands rider for sixteen years.

Conner, whose over-easy haircut rivals Strider Wasilewski’s for lesbian chic, is the face of JS’s push into the direct-to-consumer market in the US, a compelling sell to cutback aficionados across America.

JS Surfboards are manufactured in Australia and Thailand and imported into the US, a thorn in the paw of some Oceanside locals and surf-biz owners.

“It’s like freaking locusts descending on us,” one local surf shop owner told The San Diego Reader. “It’s like they have a scorched earth plan as they dump boards on us from out of the country. We make more boards here in Oceanside than any other town in the United States. They are coming in and taking money from everybody, from retailers to board builders and everybody in between.”

Former pro surfer Heath Walker, the prez of JS’s US Operations and a Carlsbad resident for most of the two-thousands, told the Reader that the graffiti “hurts a lot, I’m not going to lie. It really took a chunk out of my armor. But we are here for the long term and I know getting acceptance will not happen overnight… We’re living in a world of shit sandwiches right now. Our objective is to be a positive person in the community. It takes time.”

One local shaper, Gary Linden, who shuttered his own operation after forty years to make way for high-end condos in town, is moving his operation directly across the road from the JS Warehouse.

He says, “Nobody is hurting. I don’t see why anyone should be complaining. Like anything, it is not correct to blame the supplier. It’s like drugs or anything else, you should always look at the consumer. Nobody is forcing anything down anyone’s throat. I sent a message to them and said ‘Let’s collaborate.’”

Still, little will disquiet the disgruntled few.

A t-shirt is circulating with the J.S. Industries’ tractor logo and the tagline, “BUILT FOR GREED…JUST SHIT INDUSTRIES.”

A little unfair, I think.

Whatever their country of provenance, south-east Asia or south-east Queensland, the surfboards cannot be accused of poor design nor inferior quality.

At least from my experience.

Breaking: Hurley beard softer, charcoal peel-off mask for men, hit shelves just in time for the Holiday season!

"...a classically surf bourbon and oak essence."

But what do you get for the man who has everything plus a coarse beard and not so clear skin? The very latest product offering from iconic surf brand Hurley, of course, which has released it’s Hurley for Men line just ahead of the holidays.

Whether he celebrates Hanukkah, Chanukkah, Christmas, Kwanza, Solstice or is a humanist who routinely denies the reason for the season, he will be entirely thankful to find Hurley for Men under the menorah, tree, green and black candle set up, bobblehead statue of Bill Maher.

The beard softener, which features a classically surf bourbon and oak essence, promises to soften and condition both beard and scruff.

The charcoal peel-off mask eliminates impurities while, at the same time, refreshing.

And surfing has conquered such fabulous worlds, from Costco’s shelves to Erik Logan’s heart, but is any as fabulous as Hurley for Men?

I think no.

I think, maybe, never in the future too.

Thai policeman in extremely hot water for brandishing 9mm Glock during raid of surfing school: “I have asked them to move and warned them twice before, but they just ignored me!”

A national drama!

As the world goes shutters once more in an attempt to slow the spread of Covid-19, moods are mixed sad and happy. Sad because no more drinking in bars, dining in restaurants, shopping in shoe stores. Happy because the wonderful genre of lock-lit gets a revival.

You certainly recall the previous run of brilliant stories detailing police dragging surfers off South African beaches, Victorian surfers weeping and gnashing their teeth unable to leave their state to go and tube the Superbank, Californian surfers catching heavy tickets for enjoying Asian-fusion cuisine near the sand.

Extremely exciting and today we have the tale of Mr Sanya, who was said to be carrying a 9mm Glock when he and four other officers arrived at the beach, near Kamala, and seized Jirachaya Sitthichoke surfing equipment.

The Phuket News report has the entire country of Thailand up in “arms” with this intoxicating admixture of he said/she said, correct police procedure and Austrian vs. German manufacturing superiority.

Apparently, Ms Jirachaya, who conducted the surfing class on the beach, was taken aback when Mr Sanya rocked up to seize her equipment with his Glock and filed an official complaint that he was in a public place with a un-permitted firearm.

Kamala Chief Police Col Chaiyapreuk Phadiwarakorn confirmed that the formal complaint was filed, saying, “(Mr Sanya) said he had permission to carry the handgun as had previously served as Kathu District Chief. We are not sure yet whether this is correct. We are still looking into the matter.”

Mr Saya said the raid was being carried out because no commercial activities are allowed on that stretch of beach. “I have asked them to move and warned them twice before, but they just ignored me. So yesterday we arrived at the beach and asked them to move again, and asked them to pay a fine of B200 as a warning. They still just ignored me, so we seized their equipment…” adding, “I have the authority to carry my gun as I previously worked with the Kathu District Office. The Kamala OrBorTor chief has also agreed for me to carry my gun while on duty. This is normal. There is no need to be worried, there is no need for any tourists to worry.”

BeachGrit will continue paying close attention to developments here but, in the meantime, do you feel Austria’s Glock or Germany’s SIG Sauer is a better weapon?

Much to ponder.

Aye-aye cap'nperson.
Aye-aye cap'nperson.

Controversy: Seafaring Brits infuriated by BBC, revolt against “Woke Auntie” as revered news organization replaces toxic word “fishermen” with inclusive “fisherpeople!”

"I'm losing it."

Oh bother. And if there was one thing proud Great Britain did not need it was a kerfuffle over its English language but, amidst eternal Brexit negotiations, a Coronavirus pandemic and Boris Johnson here we are for the nation’s proud, revered news organization, the British Broadcasting Corporation, has decided to drop the toxic and triggering word “fishermen” and replace it with the more inclusive “fisherpeople.”

The change occurred on Radio 4’s Today program and sparked instant backlash as fisherpeople took to social media to decry the change, the BBC’s continuing “wokeness” and to point out that a tiny fraction of commercial fisherpeople in the country are women.

Ashley Mullenger, who calls herself the ‘female fisherman,’ joined the fight and told the Daily Mail she only knows of six women also doing her job in the entire United Kingdom.

The BBC’s style guide declares: “Unless you are sure only males are involved, avoid words such as ‘newsmen, ‘businessmen’ and ‘policemen.'” And a spokesperson, when reached for comment, insisted that there was no “ban” on fishermen though “fisherpeople” was perfectly acceptable.

Anchor Piers Morgan, who used to be almost cable news famous in the United States, took to the airwaves infuriated.

“Here’s the point, it’s a rough old job, on the trawler boats on the rough high seas. I’ve never seen a woman on a trawler boat doing that. There must be some, I guess, but is there a single woman in the country who actually trawls for fish professionally… the whole language is being changed from fisherman to fisherpeople. There are certain jobs that women don’t like to do. And it may be that in a trawler, rough and tough in the North Sea at midnight on a Wednesday in January, it’s not up there on the to-do-list of the equality brigade.”

How much time do you think Piers Morgan has spent commercially trawling in the North Sea?

A few months a year?

More to our point, should we change the outdated and exclusionary word “surfer” for “surferpeople?”

Should DJ Paul Fisher change his potentially offensive last name/stage name to Fisherperson?

Much to ponder.