Blockbuster producer Brian Grazer almost kills superstar actor Tom Hanks in horror surf collision: “His fin sliced me open to the point that I had to go to the clinic in Malibu and get 37 stitches on the inside and outside!”

VAL on VAL!

The VAL-pocalypse continues, news today revealing mega-producer Brian Grazer almost killed superstar actor, and fellow VAL, Tom Hanks in a collision at Malibu, where both keep houses.

The almost-seventy-year-old Grazer, whose films include Apollo 13, The Da Vinci Code and Parenthood and who is also famous for breeze-flogged hair that looks like it’s on its own recreational high, told In-Depth with Graham Bensinger,

“I see Tom Hanks, like in the impact zone, while I’m taking off on this wave. And I’m thinking like, ‘I can get around him.’ But I’m also thinking, ‘Shit! He’s a movie star. He’s the movie star. Am I going to kill the movie star?”

Grazer’s fin sliced through Hanks’ leg.

“It caused him to get, I think, 35, 36 stitches in his calf,” said Grazer.

On an earlier episode of the show, Hanks said, “I have a vicious scar in my calf from Brian Grazer running over me on his surfboard… His fin sliced me open to the point that I had to go to the clinic in Malibu, and get 37 stitches on the inside and outside.”

The injury, says Hanks, has left him with a permanently disability.

“My calf muscle has always been too short because I made the mistake of going surfing with Brian Grazer.”

Most worrying, I think, is seventy-year-old Grazer’s use of “like” throughout the interview.