"Embarrassingly..."
And you can imagine my pure joy waking up this morning, reading the headline “When will the Pipe Masters resume? Surfing’s bizarre ‘cone of silence‘” splashed across multiple mainstream Australian publications. Joy mixed with that unmistakable feeling of doing a job and doing it well.
The World Surf League has needed, desperately needed, someone running the public relations for many years but especially since current CEO Erik Logan ascended to the top spot. Chief Marketing Officer Backward Fin Beth did hard work, putting surfing on the map, but after she left there has mostly just been crickets singing their violin-adjacent song in Santa Monica.
Nothing.
And when Logan went down, last week, with the dreaded Covid-19 I knew I would have to take an unpaid position doing forward facing branding.
My week’s worth of effort paid off. Per News Corp:
The ill-fated return of professional surfing amid the COVID pandemic is turning the World Surf League into a laughing stock.
Sidelined since cancelling its season-opening event on the Gold Coast in March, the tour finally returned last week – and expectation couldn’t have been higher for fans as the traditional season-ending Pipe Masters became the launch event.
But after the opening day of competition was followed by weather conditions that kept the waves away, the WSL unexpectedly announced the event was being suspended because of a coronavirus outbreak at the site in Oahu, Hawaii.
Embarrassingly, league CEO Erik Logan and four staff members tested positive for COVID in a disastrous development given the tentative fashion in which Hawaii had welcomed dozens of professionals from all corners of the world to its shores.
That was five days ago. Since then the only communication from the WSL came from Logan on his Instagram page, where he promised to be transparent “through this incredibly challenging time”.
David Lee Scales and I chatted about the Cone of Silence today, whilst podcasting, and also about Stab magazine going behind the paywall. Have you purchased your year’s worth of Ashton Goggans yet? Very exciting. Also, is Ashton Goggans an onomatopoeia?
Listen here.
For fuck’s sake Chas, it’s POR SHUH, a 2 syllable word, not poursh. You can’t even claim to be a auto enthusiast no less a Porsche enthusiast if you pronounce it like a midwestern kook.
No, he’s an egomaniac fuckwit who loves the sound of his fat voice.
Content that would warrant me paying $10/month for Stab Premium:
1. Ashton tries varies hard drugs and documents his slow decline in eventual prostitution.
2. Ashton eats various types of surfboards in one sitting to evaluate taste.
3. Same idea but with wax.
4. Two-way Ashton petting zoo. You pet him, he pets you back.
Just spitballing.
But would you hang around for:
5. In-depth/long form interview with Ellie-Jean and the rest of the Coffey clan.
6. Why longboarding is cool.
7. How to mix hipster tattoos with the right colour beanie.
8. The cool guys that let me hang out with them.
9. The value of my opinions.
10. Free gift with purchase: One yellow, Ashton Goggan toboggan for your noggin.
I feel like everyone’s comments on here are completely contrived. But nonetheless, I still always shoot straight down to the comments section after each article. 🙂 Often, I can’t follow what anyone’s saying but I still read in ignorant bliss.
What sound did he make when he hit you?
Surprised Rupert Murdoch hasn’t bought Beachgrit by now.
No paywall
Ya a pay wall wouldn’t work for a Surf Gossip/ shark story/well written Comp recap site like BG.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Ashton Goggans sounds like a British colloquialism for a bowl obstruction
The grits consistent shark and covid stories make the grit a mainstream media source, congratulations the grit, you can now sell for a considerable profit
A high water mark on a high water mark
Yesterday news.com.au ran a story about the Sydney covid outbreak that was literally Facebook comments quoted and attributed in the article like they were legitimate sources.
We’ve arrived.
You may have arrived
But everyone else has left
To mine some BitCoin
It’s on fire
Most news sites these days are simply the elite clerisy reporting on the tweets of other elite clerisy (huzzah!) or the deplorable (boo! hiss!). With the ubiquitous “sources say” to sound journalistic-ish.
I’ve had the Cone of Silence before. I went down to Tassie with some mates for that Dark Mofo shit. Had a big fucken romper and next thing I knew I was resisting the allures of samsara with a vow of silence. I was a retarded mute for the remainder of the day. I don’t remember it all that well but apparently I was fucken fried beyond recognition. That was some fucked up bush weed. Will need to find some more.
Nice. Caught up with some mates after work. They had a head start, so slapped me upside the head with 4 or 5 in a row to catch up. Went full immobility on the beanbag. The boys went out. Came back 7 hours later. Hadn’t moved. TV still on the same channel.
“What did you watch?”
“I don’t know…”
Yesterday’s news Chas
For Bex, Claiming Meds and I
Broke this already
Get up earlier
To beat us to the poop scoop
Sleepy Veteran