Hope springs eternal!
Hope, as they say, springs eternal and that is all well and good except “eternity” only has four more calendar days left in it for the World Surf League to finish off the Covid-19 shuttered Billabong Pipe Masters in Memory of Andy Irons presented by Hydro Flask.
Silence.
A “cone of silence” but why? The most progressive public relations moved ever crafted in order to protect World Surf League CEO Erik Logan’s ill-advised travel to Hawaii to be seen and see?
A never-before-tried keep-them-starving-until-they-are-dead approach to hype in a small core market?
No.
According to an impeccable inside source, the cone of silence is in place because formal approval from local government who is expected to go public tomorrow with an announcement that gives the green light.
Do you believe?
Can we believe?
The answer is, obviously, yes.
Common sense dictates that it serves all sides to complete the already launched event but common sense has rarely dictated the WSL moves.
But who cares about common sense or history. Can we believe that the State of Hawaii x CEO Erik Logan’s World Surf League will sort this last four days and give The People™ a contest?
More as the story develops.
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Lock Erik Logan in a room and send in the Gimp!
Couple shots of Botox and he’ll be right as rain…
Forecast looks great – if you’re a windsurfer.
Ziff: Look Elo I’m getting tired of this whole amateur surfing circus. It doesn’t represent value for money, I’d much rather pay to watch a midget to give my missus a slow deep rim job.
Elo: Wow that’s some next level Billionaire stuff your into Ziff.
Ziff: You don’t partake? Either way I just want out. What can you conjure up that’s so unbelievable that our paying customers will understand when we pull the rug out from underneath them?
Elo: Err well we don’t have any paying customers Ziff.
Ziff: We don’t?
Elo: Well not yet Ziff. We are discussing some kind of a pay wall much like STAB’s new model.
Ziff: Who the fuck are they? Look just put some Sharks and COVID cases in story after the end of the first day or two and then call the whole thing off, caput, done, tchau etc. It’s 2020 I’m sure they will understand.Elo: Hey Dirk just changing the subject a little but where do you find those midgets?
This thing is about to blow wide open. The Spotlight team has heard from a confirmed source in the YouTube comments section that competition will resume once Joe Biden renounces the US election result, and also that Wade Gravy and JoB both died in a wake surfing accident a year ago and have been replaced by paedophile body doubles. All has been confirmed by Kelly in his Instagram stories.
Q-a bong.
Get ready maggots
No. You can’t script this. 🤦🏻♂️
I know nothing!!!
looking up :
The WSL is pleased to announce that we are ending our suspension of the Billabong Pipe Masters pres. by Hydro Flask and we’ll look to run competition over the coming days with a promising forecast.
Next call: 7 am HST (9 am PT, 5 pm GMT)
03:00 pm brt…
Why the hell not ?
Go ADS !
Go SurfAds!!!
(am I doing it rite?)
Go away Surf Ads
Surfads has won, has always won, and always will be winning, and any talk otherwise is fraudulent and a conspiracy by peedopiles and Ant-Feet-uh.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Conehead of silence?
Cone of Silence is Golden?
Silence of the (Roth)lambs?
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Past 8pm in Hawaii.
No announcement.
Best remaining day of the forey tomorrow (Thurs 17).
Could he really just wake and run?
edit: an announcement! It’s on!
It’s good Pipe is on. But they’re going to finish the Maui ladies heats at Pipe? That will be, umm, ahhh, interesting
Hope it’s solid pipe. Time for the girls to pull in to barrels, no excuses.
Equal pay for equal risk
Absolutely. If Bede Durbidge takes risks to stay on tour and gets pins in his pelvis they can too. Women down hill skiers aren’t scared.
Women skiers ski a different course and both they and the men are scared.
Managed fear, yes…
and half the competition!
Yes, lets see some 60kg girls without experience in this type powerful surf get badly hurt.
Moana Jones has been at the bottom of the pecking order at pipe, but has been taking scraps and closeouts and eating shit for years. She’s now getting some good pipe barrels. Nothing has been stopping the girls, or Toledo for that matter to put in the effort to get good at reef barrels.
Putting in the effort? As the venue is unexpected for the ladies they have not had time to do so.
Surfing any heavy reef wave will give you experience and skill. Just like lakey Peterson at Honolua, she hasn’t put in the time and it shows there. Slater is from Florida but he made it a point to get good in heavy reef waves.
And they do this how in last 10 months?
They know they’re surfing chopes this year. I think they will do fine.
Sorry but to me you come off badly saying things of this nature. My opinion only and obviously you have yours. We agree to not agree.
The girls that I know don’t want to be coddled and protected, they want to treated as equals, they feel it’s demeaning. We disagree. Pipes finally on I’m happy
Physically they are not equal. Vonn skied against the men and lost by signifigant margins.
They aren’t surfing against the men. That girl with one arm makes drops at pipe.
Erik Logan is such a typical Cali fucking kook, some snake oil entrepreneur with a grade 10 education probably injected some collagen into his ass and told him he would be immune if he drank bulletproof coffee and boofed some chaga.
If Andy has essentially two contests named after him or in his name, how many will Ke11y have when he dies?
Pretty sure Ke11y has way more Pipe titles and more Chopes Titles?
Too lazy to google how many more. But sure.
Inconvenient?
Seems so.
Maybe Ke11y can win the contest named after Andy again?!
Kelly will have made himself look so fucking stupid by the time he retires that we’ll all just be glad to see the back of him.
A little black twin fin couldn’t hide its own deficiencies even guided by goat feet.
The disco arm action was a particular fav of mine.
Hasn’t he done it already??
Except that he will still come back to Pipe as a wildcard and win at least one heat.
You’ll never see the back of him. He’ll be in the commentators booth all the time, and be cooking hamburgers at the wave ranch for everybody until he’s eighty.
How many Maseratis
Does it take
To make a tour?
Can’t wait for the Brilliant Corners episode where E-Lo comes back from Covid and surfs Kelly’s pool and still can’t get barrelled
I hope he does some virtue signaling beforehand – taking the knee and awkwardly checking his watch every two seconds!
I guess it took a while for err, negotiations to be finalised.
Would you care to float
Your diagnosis and his
Number of days left?
Fuck all
If he was a steer he’d be shot for dog tucker…
Mate, I agree but these cunts aren’t normal.
Perhaps it is because I am currently experiencing an episode of hypoglycemic mental retardation or because I had a brain aneurysm trying to read the second question in this article that I cannot understand any of what was written here. Something about a contest? GO ADS!