WSL CEO Erik Logan.

Breaking: Inside impeccable World Surf League source suggests ruthlessly enforced “cone of silence” in place to calm local Hawaiian officials, Pipe Masters set to resume tomorrow in time for epic swell!

Hope springs eternal!

Hope, as they say, springs eternal and that is all well and good except “eternity” only has four more calendar days left in it for the World Surf League to finish off the Covid-19 shuttered Billabong Pipe Masters in Memory of Andy Irons presented by Hydro Flask.


A “cone of silence” but why? The most progressive public relations moved ever crafted in order to protect World Surf League CEO Erik Logan’s ill-advised travel to Hawaii to be seen and see?

A never-before-tried keep-them-starving-until-they-are-dead approach to hype in a small core market?


According to an impeccable inside source, the cone of silence is in place because formal approval from local government who is expected to go public tomorrow with an announcement that gives the green light.

Do you believe?

Can we believe?

The answer is, obviously, yes.

Common sense dictates that it serves all sides to complete the already launched event but common sense has rarely dictated the WSL moves.

But who cares about common sense or history. Can we believe that the State of Hawaii x CEO Erik Logan’s World Surf League will sort this last four days and give The People™ a contest?

More as the story develops.

Bugs, at peak.

World champion surfer Rabbit Bartholomew hospitalised on Gold Coast after snake bite: “Waiting to see if it was deadly or had a chance to inject its venom.”

"May the odds always be with me."

Australia, eh? If it ain’t the Whites, it’s the waves and if it ain’t the waves…

Just one day after posting his commiserations re: WSL commentator Ronnie Blakey’s snapped leg, world champion surfer, former ASP head and almost state politician, Wayne “Rabbit’ Bartholomew, has had his own brush with mortality, hospitalised after being bitten by an unidentified snake.

“Hanging out in hospital waiting to see if it was a deadly snake or a non-venomous one or maybe a juvenile snake that did not inject its venom. In Australia, they treat it as a worst-case scenario. May the odds always always be with me.”

The Gold Coast is home to some real sons of bitches including the deadly Eastern Tiger Snake, the Eastern Brown Snake (“fastest acting venom in the world”) and the slightly less poisonous Red Bellied Black Snake.

Spring, summer, real active times for snakes on the GC.

Bugs’ old pals had a field day on Instagram,

From Hawaiian legend Micky Nielsen, “Make sure it’s not COVID! Everything’s COVID now days!”

Journalist and Whale Beach property baron Jon Jenkins, “I had flashbacks to your thong getting caught in the escalator at Sydney airport!”

More as the story, or poison, develops.

Celebrity tributes pour in for WSL commentator Ronnie Blakey after snapping leg in horror wipeout during wild Kirra session: “Big enough to fold my leg in half!”

Faces surgery etc.

Tributes have poured in for popular WSL commentator Aaron “Ronnie” Blakey after he broke his leg during a wild Kirra session on Queensland’s Gold Coast.

From Bob Hurley and Rabbit Bartholomew to fellow commentators Strider “Attack-Dog Tits” Wasilewski and Rosy Hodge, the surfing world has been quick to offer condolences, words of encouragement etc.

Strider: “Oh shit, you shred so hard you broke your leg!!!! WTF my bro, heal up… I’m sure it was a monster lip.”

Bob Hurley: “Speedy and fantastic recovery my friend…i want to experience you airing over me paddling out once again…let’s do this.”

Bugs: “Sorry to hear Kirra was unkind, a lot of rainwater making those lips collapse without notice Glad you got in ok, what an ordeal. Heal well mate, you will be back for Snapper 2021, we can share a wave in kiddies corner.”

Rosy: “Ah no Dawgie!! I’m sure u were hoofing it moments before the catastrophe. Thinking of u pooch, rest up and I’m sure the fam will pamper u.”

Ronnie, the one-time understudy to his perennially famous older brother Adam aka Vaughan, writes, Quick Sunday mission to surf Kirra gone wrong. Copped a lip to the outside of my leg. Tibial plateau fracture. She packs a punch! Thanks to the legends that helped out me of the water, whoever you are. Surfing spirit is alive and well as far as I’m concerned.

Sexy break.

The photogenic and brawny forty year old will, likely, spend the early parts of the new year imprisoned in hospital, strung up under fluorescent lights on a steamy rack of desire and frustration.

Breaking: World Surf League maintains strict “cone of silence” around Covid-19 suspended Pipe Masters as contest window draws nearer to a close!

What sort of public relations strategy is this?

The World Surf League’s website has had no update since Friday, December 11th when the public was notified that CEO Erik Logan and four others had tested positive for Covid-19 forcing “suspension” of the Billabong Pipe Masters in memory of Andy Irons presented by Hydro Flask.

Not one word.

Leaks have trickled out to bereaved surf fans, one suggesting that the situation had been resolved and the contest would restart imminently, one suggesting that “progress” had been made with the State of Hawaii though no definitive action taken.

Which is true?


A possible third way? Will the State of Hawaii extended the permits and allow the show to go on?

The bereaved surf fan has no idea as the World Surf League has maintained that the best offense is deafening silence.

But what sort of public relations strategy is this?

I’ve reached out to my internal sources, simply trying to prepare for an exciting pickup, and been met with the same deafening silence.

Is CEO Erik Logan doing something shifty underneath that cone of silence? Typhoid Marrying? Beating up on Taylor Swift again? Something more sinister?

Many more questions than answers. When the sun sets, this evening, there will be three days left in the contest window.

Hearts remain heavy.

But seriously, what sort of public relations strategy is this?

Painting of Fort Point by Tom Rissacher.
Painting of Fort Point by Tom Rissacher.

Heroic: Two surfers perform daring rescue of unconscious bodyboarder at world’s most picturesque wave!

A "good job."

But what would you say the is world’s most picturesque wave? Mundaka with that ancient church overlooking the reeling left? Nazare? Teahupoo, site of the 2024 Olympic Games? That one place in Australia with super blue water? Oh we surfers suffer an embarrassment of riches but I would argue that the world’s most picturesque wave is Fort Point, the wave that breaks underneath the famed Golden Gate Bridge.

And it is here that we lay our scene. California’s north has received a fine run of swell and a handful of hearty souls were out at Fort Point when one of them, a bodyboarder, smashed his head into a rock and became unconscious. Remember when we, as a group, used to make fun of bodyboarders? Silly that we didn’t recognize greatness. That bodyboarders are, generally, very brave and ply their trade out of pure weird desire.

In any case, the bodyboarder smashed his head and would have drowned if not for the quick action of two surfers, one of them an off-duty paramedic, who spotted the body, rushed over and began performing CPR while bringing him to shore where CPR continued before he was transported to a local trauma center.

The story was told, and told well, in the San Francisco Chronicle but there was some disbelief in the comment section where one reader declared, “A ‘good job’ to the rescuers. Technical point: It is unlikely that they were performing CPR while pulling the victim to shore, as chest compressions require that the victim be on a solid surface.”

Pretty rude to put “good job” in quotes, no?

Also haven’t the chest compression part of CPR gone out of vogue? Or was that the breathing in mouth part?

Is Pipe going to run today?