What sort of public relations strategy is this?

The World Surf League’s website has had no update since Friday, December 11th when the public was notified that CEO Erik Logan and four others had tested positive for Covid-19 forcing “suspension” of the Billabong Pipe Masters in memory of Andy Irons presented by Hydro Flask.

Not one word.

Leaks have trickled out to bereaved surf fans, one suggesting that the situation had been resolved and the contest would restart imminently, one suggesting that “progress” had been made with the State of Hawaii though no definitive action taken.

Which is true?

Neither?

A possible third way? Will the State of Hawaii extended the permits and allow the show to go on?

The bereaved surf fan has no idea as the World Surf League has maintained that the best offense is deafening silence.

But what sort of public relations strategy is this?

I’ve reached out to my internal sources, simply trying to prepare for an exciting pickup, and been met with the same deafening silence.

Is CEO Erik Logan doing something shifty underneath that cone of silence? Typhoid Marrying? Beating up on Taylor Swift again? Something more sinister?

Many more questions than answers. When the sun sets, this evening, there will be three days left in the contest window.

Hearts remain heavy.

But seriously, what sort of public relations strategy is this?

A "good job."

But what would you say the is world’s most picturesque wave? Mundaka with that ancient church overlooking the reeling left? Nazare? Teahupoo, site of the 2024 Olympic Games? That one place in Australia with super blue water? Oh we surfers suffer an embarrassment of riches but I would argue that the world’s most picturesque wave is Fort Point, the wave that breaks underneath the famed Golden Gate Bridge.

And it is here that we lay our scene. California’s north has received a fine run of swell and a handful of hearty souls were out at Fort Point when one of them, a bodyboarder, smashed his head into a rock and became unconscious. Remember when we, as a group, used to make fun of bodyboarders? Silly that we didn’t recognize greatness. That bodyboarders are, generally, very brave and ply their trade out of pure weird desire.

In any case, the bodyboarder smashed his head and would have drowned if not for the quick action of two surfers, one of them an off-duty paramedic, who spotted the body, rushed over and began performing CPR while bringing him to shore where CPR continued before he was transported to a local trauma center.

The story was told, and told well, in the San Francisco Chronicle but there was some disbelief in the comment section where one reader declared, “A ‘good job’ to the rescuers. Technical point: It is unlikely that they were performing CPR while pulling the victim to shore, as chest compressions require that the victim be on a solid surface.”

Pretty rude to put “good job” in quotes, no?

Also haven’t the chest compression part of CPR gone out of vogue? Or was that the breathing in mouth part?

Is Pipe going to run today?

Whiplash!

This whiplash. This on again off again, will she won’t she, love me love me not is JUST TOO MUCH! And let’s catch up on the action from the very beginning. Four days ago, World Surf League CEO Erik Logan released a statement declaring he, and five helpers, had contracted the dreaded Coronavirus. He very much wanted to make sure fans scattered around the globe new that he was ok and only experiencing light symptoms so posted a reassuring update. U.S. Olympic coach Brett Simpson demanded that Logan and helpers be incarcerated, the WSL’s social media became the very front line of culture wars, calls grew louder and louder for Logan’s resignation but then a possible break, a secret internal message suggesting everything had been worked out with the State of Hawaii and the pieces were in place to restart the Pipe Masters in Memory of Andy Irons presented by Hydro Flask as soon as yesterday.

But it did not start yesterday, nor did it start today, and a new internal message, sent to Australian television subscribers, suggests that the WSL maybe painted a rosier-than-accurate picture to its own employees.

Here is what Australian television subscribers received:

UPDATE

Good Evening-

We continue to work with the State of Hawaii officials on lifting the event suspension. These conversations are productive, but we do not have confirmation yet.

With the swell declining further over the next several hours, we will not be looking at running competition tomorrow (yesterday).

Official call: NO Competition for Tomorrow, Tuesday December 15th

We will provide more updates as soon as they become available.

But what does it all mean?

Oh. I guess it’s fairly self-explanatory.

As of this moment, there are four more days left in the waiting period plus the women.

Is it possible to slot it all in?

"Think graphic shark attacks and Ellie-Jean Coffey nudes."

Stab magazine announced today that Covid-19 has forced the hand and it will be going behind a paywall. Per the lengthy missive from Sam McIntosh:

Stab going to a subscription is something we’ve talked about for some time, but when Covid rolled into town, 10 years happened in 10 months and our hand was forced. Google and Facebook take 60 to 70 percent of all digital marketing spend and we expect that percentage to grow. The sun has passed midday for ad-supported media. For those left it will be a race to the bottom, and speaking from experience, when you’re chasing clicks, you get lost in the outrageous and contagious. Think graphic shark attacks and Ellie-Jean Coffey nudes.

Outrageous and contagious.

The new anti-depressive.

But back to the news at hand. How does it make you feel? What does it make you think? A bold move or ill-advised? Apparently there will be some news etc. accessible for free but all films, longer journalism pieces, will be OnlyFans. Will you crack your wallet for the best of Ashton Goggans or take your business to Unboxing with Koa Smith?

I’ve so enjoyed trying to re-create the yellow journalism wars between Joseph Pulitzer and William Randolph Hearst, with Stab as foil, over these past years. I think the Stab crew did not have the same historical perspective and, therefore, did not have fun but glory days nonetheless.

Well, the end of an era I suppose.

Back to searching for outrage and contagion.

Got anything for me?