Australia, eh? If it ain’t the Whites, it’s the waves and if it ain’t the waves…
Just one day after posting his commiserations re: WSL commentator Ronnie Blakey’s snapped leg, world champion surfer, former ASP head and almost state politician, Wayne “Rabbit’ Bartholomew, has had his own brush with mortality, hospitalised after being bitten by an unidentified snake.
“Hanging out in hospital waiting to see if it was a deadly snake or a non-venomous one or maybe a juvenile snake that did not inject its venom. In Australia, they treat it as a worst-case scenario. May the odds always always be with me.”
The Gold Coast is home to some real sons of bitches including the deadly Eastern Tiger Snake, the Eastern Brown Snake (“fastest acting venom in the world”) and the slightly less poisonous Red Bellied Black Snake.
Spring, summer, real active times for snakes on the GC.
Bugs’ old pals had a field day on Instagram,
From Hawaiian legend Micky Nielsen, “Make sure it’s not COVID! Everything’s COVID now days!”
Journalist and Whale Beach property baron Jon Jenkins, “I had flashbacks to your thong getting caught in the escalator at Sydney airport!”
More as the story, or poison, develops.
Celebrity tributes pour in for WSL commentator Ronnie Blakey after snapping leg in horror wipeout during wild Kirra session: “Big enough to fold my leg in half!”
Tributes have poured in for popular WSL commentator Aaron “Ronnie” Blakey after he broke his leg during a wild Kirra session on Queensland’s Gold Coast.
From Bob Hurley and Rabbit Bartholomew to fellow commentators Strider “Attack-Dog Tits” Wasilewski and Rosy Hodge, the surfing world has been quick to offer condolences, words of encouragement etc.
Strider: “Oh shit, you shred so hard you broke your leg!!!! WTF my bro, heal up… I’m sure it was a monster lip.”
Bob Hurley: “Speedy and fantastic recovery my friend…i want to experience you airing over me paddling out once again…let’s do this.”
Bugs: “Sorry to hear Kirra was unkind, a lot of rainwater making those lips collapse without notice Glad you got in ok, what an ordeal. Heal well mate, you will be back for Snapper 2021, we can share a wave in kiddies corner.”
Rosy: “Ah no Dawgie!! I’m sure u were hoofing it moments before the catastrophe. Thinking of u pooch, rest up and I’m sure the fam will pamper u.”
Ronnie, the one-time understudy to his perennially famous older brother Adam aka Vaughan, writes, Quick Sunday mission to surf Kirra gone wrong. Copped a lip to the outside of my leg. Tibial plateau fracture. She packs a punch! Thanks to the legends that helped out me of the water, whoever you are. Surfing spirit is alive and well as far as I’m concerned.
The photogenic and brawny forty year old will, likely, spend the early parts of the new year imprisoned in hospital, strung up under fluorescent lights on a steamy rack of desire and frustration.
Breaking: World Surf League maintains strict “cone of silence” around Covid-19 suspended Pipe Masters as contest window draws nearer to a close!
The World Surf League’s website has had no update since Friday, December 11th when the public was notified that CEO Erik Logan and four others had tested positive for Covid-19 forcing “suspension” of the Billabong Pipe Masters in memory of Andy Irons presented by Hydro Flask.
But what would you say the is world’s most picturesque wave? Mundaka with that ancient church overlooking the reeling left? Nazare? Teahupoo, site of the 2024 Olympic Games? That one place in Australia with super blue water? Oh we surfers suffer an embarrassment of riches but I would argue that the world’s most picturesque wave is Fort Point, the wave that breaks underneath the famed Golden Gate Bridge.
And it is here that we lay our scene. California’s north has received a fine run of swell and a handful of hearty souls were out at Fort Point when one of them, a bodyboarder, smashed his head into a rock and became unconscious. Remember when we, as a group, used to make fun of bodyboarders? Silly that we didn’t recognize greatness. That bodyboarders are, generally, very brave and ply their trade out of pure weird desire.
In any case, the bodyboarder smashed his head and would have drowned if not for the quick action of two surfers, one of them an off-duty paramedic, who spotted the body, rushed over and began performing CPR while bringing him to shore where CPR continued before he was transported to a local trauma center.
The story was told, and told well, in the San Francisco Chronicle but there was some disbelief in the comment section where one reader declared, “A ‘good job’ to the rescuers. Technical point: It is unlikely that they were performing CPR while pulling the victim to shore, as chest compressions require that the victim be on a solid surface.”
Pretty rude to put “good job” in quotes, no?
Also haven’t the chest compression part of CPR gone out of vogue? Or was that the breathing in mouth part?
Is Pipe going to run today?
Mystery over WSL’s patient zero intensifies: Covid-19 positive surfer Yago Dora says, “I’m no typhoid Mary!”
A helluva lot of speculation, much of it unkind, about “patient zero” after the Pipeline Masters was indefinitely suspended following WSL CEO Erik Logan and four other WSL staff members’ positive tests for the COVID-19 virus.
The question moistening lips: Who was surfing’s Typhoid Mary? Erik Logan? Maybe Pat O’Connell?
Typhoid Mary aka Mary Mallon was a wild thing, oowee. Carried typhoid but didn’t get it (asymptomatic), worked as a cook, left a trail of dead kids and had to be locked up, on two separate stretches, for twenty six years.
Earlier today, Yago Dora, the Brazilian who was released from quarantine in Texas after ten days despite his COVID-19 test remaining positive, has announced he ain’t surfing’s Typhoid Mary.
Those are strict protocols i had to follow on my case, just like everybody else does as recommended by cdc and Hawaiian state government, if you have been tested positive and went into isolation,once 10 days have passed and you haven’t shown any symptoms, you’re no longer considered contagious and can leave isolation after being seen and cleared by a specialized doctor, and this are the health protocols for these kind of cases as recommended by cdc. Dead cells of the virus can be found on your test samples for more than a month even if after 10 days of no symptoms you’re no longer contagious. I have so much love and respect for the Hawaiian people and every year that i come here i receive so much love and respect back, i would never in my wildest dreams want to put anyone at risk of contamination, covid is no joke and i’ve been following it very closely and trying to learn the most i can about it. I emailed Hawaiis safe travels program myself to know what kind of protocols i had to follow and what my options were, i followed every single detail very strictly and only on the 12th day of isolation i got cleared up to get on a plane. If i meant any risk to anyone i wouldn’t even be allowed into Hawaii and neither into the contest. All i did and will continue doing is following strict safety protocols and i hope everyone else is also doing it. If you still feel offended by my actions i sincerely apologize, but i can assure you that i never put anybody at risk at any time. Appreciate it Much love.
If it ain’t Yago, is it Erik, currently propped up on satin pillows in his canopied emperor bed, hair a snowy heap piled atop his ruined doll’s face?
Or Pat O’Connell, whose condition remains unknown but who is still a stunner, even at forty-nine?