Rafael Kroeff (pictured) top red circle.
Rafael Kroeff (pictured) top red circle.

Miracle on Maui: Brazilian surfer held underneath water for over a minute at Jaws saves himself through proprietary blend of mindfulness and breath control!

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Brazilian surfer Rafael Kroeff, 38, was out towing Jaws on the legendary January 16 swell when things went sideways. After letting go of the rope and realizing he was in an unfortunate position, Kroeff paddled his tow board over one wave but could not escape the second which also featured a windsurfer barreling down the line.

Of all the dirty luck.

A windsurfer?

Of all the dirty, rotten luck.

Kroeff did not panic though and worked the problem “I decided to hold my board to protect the windsurfer, I was worried that my board might hit him.” he said, selflessly. “I’ve been working with breathing for over 20 years using yoga and functional training to train surfers. I created my own training program five years ago mixing all that with the foundation on mindfulness of breathing.”

As dirty, rotten luck would have it, the wave pushed him down, down, down but thankfully he had those breathing protocols.

“I used a manoeuvre we use to close the glottis so you don’t drink water and sink, I was aware of everything and never lost my consciousness.” he said. “I felt the pressure on my ears because I was super deep but super quickly, I had equalized my ears. I was very focused on being calm but it was the longest ever time underwater for me.”

After being under for over a minute, he resurfaced and was snatched up by many skis, giving him time to assess the damage.”My neck got stiff and my throat was kind of blocked for 24hours, but I’m 100% now. I never took medicine or went to the hospital, got back home to Oahu and went straight to my ice bath, and after that I was 80%.”

Very fine and do you think the Rafael Kroeff School of Mindfulness and Breath Control will have very long waitlist?

I know I’m on it and I recommend the same for you.

4 – 6 ft Cardiff Reef will cease to stalk my nightmares.

Watch both Kroeff and the windsurfer get pounded here.


Breaking: The near magical State of Florida, sensing bold opportunity, offers to host 2021 Olympic Games if Tokyo decides to opt out!

Hello, Aaron Cormican!

Fortune favors the bold, they say, and most things they say are silly but this is entirely and completely true. The only multi-billionaires hedging bets, being careful, not acting boldly are multi-billionaires who have inherited their fortunes and are ashamedly dithering them away.

In any case, the United State of Florida, sensing bold opportunity, offered to host the 2021 Olympic Games today just in case Tokyo is not up for it.

You may have read the leaked missives, released days ago, suggesting that Japan may be cooling on the idea of hosting a once-every-four-years bacchanal in the heat-adjacent of Covid-19. Officials quickly denied the cold feet though Florida, smelling bold fortuity, declared desire.

Per Yahoo Sports:

Florida’s chief financial officer on Monday told the International Olympic Committee that the state would be happy to host the Olympics Games amid speculation that current hosts Japan may back out.

Jimmy Patronis sent a letter to Thomas Bach, the head of the IOC, “to encourage you to consider relocating the 2021 Olympics from Tokyo, Japan to the United States of America, and more specifically to Florida.”

“With media reports of leaders in Japan ‘privately’ concluding that they are too concerned about the pandemic for the 2021 Olympics to take place, there is still time to deploy a site selection team to Florida,” he said.

The letter, signed by Patronis and posted online, cited the supposed strength of state’s vaccination roll-out, its economic re-opening and sports events it has hosted during the pandemic, as well as the fact that its theme parks, including Disney World, are open for business.

How happy is Yahoo not to be Twitter or Facebook right now with all those monopoly issues? But also, conundrum. I love Japan more than any country save Yemen. I love Florida more than any state save Wyoming.

Where does that leave me?

Us?

Team Japan, clearly.

But good on Team Florida.

Fortune favors the boozy.

Kanoa Igarashi better get ready to claim a love of hush puppies, tax-free livin’ and tomahawk chops.

Bold.

But where would the surfing in Florida be conducted.

New Smyrna, obviously, but where else?


Man left "shocked and confused" when Hawaiian vacay goes wrong.

VALS offer roadmap to peace as “laidback” Byron Bay surf spots revealed to be terrorised by violent, dog-hating misogynists: “I want men to use their power, their privilege and their social status in the surf to condemn that behaviour rather than allowing it.”

"Some guys will just paddle straight past you to the inside and catch the next wave even if you’re right there in the spot waiting."

Two weeks ago, the VAL surfing world was rocked after an almost-violent episode at The Pass in Byron Bay with insult added to injury when “older white men” made fun of the surfer’s plight on the Instagram account @lordsofbyronbay, which described the event as “tragic” and “emotional.”

(Read here.)

Now, it can be revealed that the incident wasn’t isolated and that hell-raisers are terrorising Byron Bay surf spots, including popular beginner waves The Pass and Wategos. 

In a story that appeared in the Byron shire’s Echo Net Daily yesterday and headlined “When the Endless Dream Turns Sour”, the surfer reported in our previous story, Ben Mallinson, is interviewed on the near-fight that left him “shocked and confused”.

For Mr Mallinson, and a significant number of other local surfers, the issue has a deeper cause – an unhealthy surf culture in which aggression and abuse are deemed acceptable behaviours by men.

‘Somehow, we’ve arrived at this point in coastal culture where it’s totally justifiable and okay for men to abuse other men,’ Mr Mallinson says. ‘We seem to be stuck in this loop that comes from these old legacies of behaviour.’

Ominously, reports the Echo, “It was an ugly incident, but far from an isolated one.”

The region’s most popular surf spots such as The Pass, Wategos and Tallows regularly feature acts of aggression, anger and abuse, including a number of serious assaults.

One particular surfer at Wategoes is infamous within the local surf community for his aggressive and violent behaviour towards both men and women.

‘I was paddling out over the white wash as he was riding in on the wave,’ said one surfer who asked to remain anonymous. ‘He targeted me by coming as close as he could with a cut back… even though he had no need to. [Then] I get my foot squished [by his board]. You can’t say anything to him. He’ll fight you – man, woman, paddle boarder, dog, whoever.’

And,

Fellow local surfer, Ellen, believes it’s time for surfers to have ‘a calm conversation with their mates’ when they behave aggressively. She said the unhealthy side of local surf-culture included men not respecting women in the line-up.

‘Some guys will just paddle straight past you to the inside and catch the next wave even if you’re right there in the spot waiting,’ she said.

Which side do you fall, calm conversations over fair trade coffee, or beach justice?

 


John John Florence loses fans but wins Haleiwa, Sunset, Pipeline to take men’s 2020 Vans Triple Crown of Surfing; Carissa Moore disputed queen of women!

Most likely to succeed.

But oh how this has been a year-plus of firsts for our professional surfing. First cancelled season due pandemic, first World Surf League CEO to contract the disease and shut down any glimmer of hope, first women’s Championship Tour finisher to be held at Pipeline and first digital version of Van’s much-anticipated yearly Triple Crown of Surfing.

You know, well, that I look forward to the Triple Crown each and every year, almost valuing it as highly as a CT win. To be able to surf Haleiwa, Sunset and Pipeline exquisitely is the grandest art and its no wonder its victors are treated like queens.

But this year, pandemic, ELo, and no actual events save Pipeline and so the power’s that be crafted an exciting new format wherein surfers submitted footage of their best two individual waves from Haleiwa, Sunset and Pipeline for a total of six waves which also led to another first: the inclusion of women.

The champions were announced last night…

…though in case you are not in a watching mood.

Overall VTCS Male Winner: John Florence

Overall VTCS Female Winner: Carissa Moore

Haleiwa Male Winner: John Florence

Haleiwa Female Winner: Carissa Moore

Sunset Male Winner: John Florence

Sunset Female Winner: Bronte Macaulay

Pipe Male Winner: John Florence

Pipe Female Winner: Moana Jones Wong

Fan Voting Male Winner: Jack Robinson

Fan Voting Female Winner: Tatiana Weston-Webb

John John Florence sweeping the actual waves doesn’t surprise but does it that he didn’t take the fan’s heart along with them, ceding that warm space to Jack Robinson? What about Carissa only winning Haleiwa along with the overall?

Were you aware of Tatiana Weston-Webb’s general popularity?

Back to John John vs. Jack, though, this is the battle that will rage for the next decade. The one for which we will pay our upcoming $9.99 World Surf League subscription.

Sorry, Gabe.

And Pip.


From the anything-is-possible department: Three-time world bodyboarding champion becomes “world’s greatest regional real estate agent” using heady mix of chutzpah and “artistic soul”!

A modern song and dance man!

It might be hard to appreciate the gifts which Heaven have lavished upon Damien King, a child prodigy bodyboarder who won three world titles, two prone, one drop-knee, the only bodyboarder in history to win in both disciplines. 

King can also handle six feet of fibreglass.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B1QsxdcnUQu/

Following his glory days on the mat, King turned his “artistic soul” and competitive spirit toward sales and is now one of his hometown’s most sought-after real estate agents. Replacing the usual ill-fitting grey and navy suits with silk shirts fitted with broad lace collars and decorated with pompadour ties, King uses dance and comedy to lure both vendor and buyer.

Enjoy King’s repertory theatre below.