Includes bonus appearance by twenty-foot Great White shark!
The Pulitzer-Prize snatching surf pioneer and New Yorker staff writer Billy Finnegan aside, the once venerable magazine has dissolved into a hissy finger-pointer following leftist obsessions, race, Trump, “whiteness” as a synonym for evil etc.
Where it works, still, is in those little side pieces that provide a window into New York life, although even here political bunting still hangs over its railings.
In the January 18, 2021, issue, we find Jeremy Grosvenor, a fifty-year-old surfer, who decides to surf at Montauk for the entire daylight window of the winter solstice, 7:07 in the morning to 4:26 in the afternoon, to raise money for a local food bank.
Highlights.
Grosvenor exudes boyish, buoyant good nature, but he can get quasi-mystical when he describes “having faith in the sea as a sanctuary.” Known for his ability to ride waves on pretty much anything, from standard surfboards to a nylon mat, he had chosen, for the solstice, a twelve-foot foam board, on the bottom of which he had written “food.” He had also brought along an old red canoe, which he loaded with jugs of water, trail mix, a thermos of miso soup, and tinned sardines, and anchored just beyond the breakers. “So I can eat like a seagull,” he said.
Soon, Grosvenor’s big-haired, twenty-five-year-old son, Mamoun, arrived, an audiobook of Zadie Smith’s “White Teeth” blaring from his car’s speakers. He had brought some doughnuts for his father, one of which he took along as he paddled out to join him. Grosvenor’s wife, Saskia Friedrich, an artist, showed up in painted jeans, a puffer coat, and a purple beanie, with their Australian shepherds, Vishnu and Blinky. She recalled how, when Grosvenor took her ocean kayaking years ago, they noticed a large shadow pass under their boat, and it turned out to be a twenty-foot-long white shark. “Jeremy’s got this almost yogic thing, allowing him to enjoy activities that would require us to overcome our natural discomfort or terror,” she said.
Later, as the sun seemed to be giving up the ghost, Grosvenor told a floating correspondent that the day had been mostly easy and pleasant. Despite all the hours in the elements, things had never become hallucinatory, although he had been moved to tears once, he said, by the merging awareness of the beauty around him and the suffering of the world. He had managed to keep warm, except in three of his toes, through physical motion and deep breathing, he said, “like a stellar sea cow.”
As dusk fell, a handful of spectators greeted Grosvenor’s landfall with cheers. Mamoun, wearing a “Free Palestine” hoodie, threw his arms around his father and, handing him the last of the doughnuts, said, “All right! Free doughnut! Black lives matter!”
Read the piece, written by New Yorker contributing editor and Vogue theatre critic, Adam Green, here.
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I wonder how the military would divide up in a Civil War?
I think there’s a lot more red in the military than there is blue.
The original Civil War was the blue and the gray.
The blue was the North and the gray was the South.
This one would be blue and red.
So, was there actual surfing involved, or did he just fucking float on a 12’ soft top all day “eating like a seagull?”
The Warriors II coming to TV screens and mobile devices Jan 20?
It probably will suck compared to the original, just as the new West Side Story will probably suck compared to the original.
Some movies shouldn’t be remade – Lawrence of Arabia, 2001 – although I met Josh Brolin in Malibu a few years ago.
I asked him to sign the skateboard book I wrote, because he was in Thrashin’ and he is a surfer.
I asked him what he was working on and he said “True Grit.”
Aghast, I challenged him: “Who dares!?!?!?!”
“The Coen Brothers” he said and I must admit, they did a damned good job.
Although his character Tom Cheney’s teeth were too white.
A crusty character like that on the run in Indian territory would not have Hollywood teeth.
Baked bean teeth are cowboy staple!
Any Coen bros film I’ll it back on spec. Except the mucical western, had good moments but was a bit meh..
For some reason I didn’t think Burn After Reading was very funny. But maybe I’m wrong.
And you’re talking about Buster Scruggs?
The pacing of that was maybe too slow for modern audiences.
It had moments in some of the scenery and scenes and characters stay with you.
The Tom Waits part was cool
An odd movie all the way around.
Very slow paced for the modern world.
Didn’t know that was Tom Waits at first.
Steve Hawk loves Tom Waits but I’m so so.
That whole movie was all about different ways to die in the Wild West, wasn’t it?
Wasn’t there death in every episode?
Yep, there was.
All about death.
Tom waits is definitely an acquired taste. As an actor though he’s pretty good.
Lotta deaths yeah, but not sure that’s what it’s about as such. Too much singing for my liking. Would have been much better without.
Nope, that movie is all about death and all the weird ways to die:
Buster Scruggs meets someone faster/the armless/legless thespian guy goes off the bridge/The girl mistakenly kills herself thinking her protector is dead and she’s gonna get raped by injuns/Tom Waits doesn’t die and kills that dude and buries him./All the people on that stagecoach are dead and don’t know it.
Oh yeah and James Franco escapes being hung for something he done did, and then is hanged for something he didn’t done.
Sorry to spoil it for all y’all who haven’t seen it.
Tom Waits has always seemed too contrived to me.
I prefer Iggy Pop.
the one when while getting the assignment, Hannah asks her editor “What’s surfing?”
And the editor sneers and says “It’s like, shitty Yoga.”
All those idiots need to go to prison for a long time.
Raiding the Capitol and destroying offices is no bueno.
what is an Australian Shepherd and why did they call it Vishnu?
Byron Bay murfer export.
it’s like a dumb version of a border collie.
Cunt gets to surf for 9 hours and I get the third degree if I’m 9 minutes late.
9 minutes!!!!! Shit , that’s an eternity round here!!!! God save the Queen!!!!!
Is this satire writing? What’s our new VAL influx gonna be the like? Poor surfing. From a shiny bauble on adorning the super rich, to the only way reactionary pseudo-intellectual city slickers with severe fringes intersect with nature.
how good was that warriors movie?
The Warriors you mean?
The dude that played Ajax – James Remar – used to surf Malibu all the time.
Nice guy.
He was also Ganz in 48 Hours and Tarantino loves him and when Tarantino loves you, you stay loved.
Thought that was him at the lobster place today but it wasn’t.
Haven’t seen him in a while.
Ridiculous weather here right now: 80 degrees in January while the rest of the country are freezing their dicks off.
Guess that’s why 40 million people live in California – 1/8th the population of the whole damned country.
I think we covered a lot of ground in that exchange.
Well you probably knew this:
THE WARRIORS WAS BASED ON XENOPHON’S ANABASIS, AN ANCIENT GREEK TRAGEDY
Ever take a Greek history course? You may just be familiar with the premise of The Warriors. In The Warriors, the Brooklyn posse must battle rival gangs to move through New York’s boroughs back to their home turf, Coney Island. The film was based on a novel written by author Sol Yurick, which in turn was an adaptation from the Ancient Greek text Anabasis by Xenophon. The text told of Greek mercenaries stranded 1,000 miles behind Persian lines trying to fight their way back home.
But did you know that One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest is just a modern version of Moby Dick?
My mom told me that when I was in high school and blew my mind.
Think about it.
McMurphy is Ahab. Big Nurse is the white whale. Chief is Queequeg, etc.
Chew on that.
Hats off to Jez. Hardcore marathon sesh with only jugs of water, trail mix, a thermos of miso soup, and tinned sardines to survive. Not my first choice of sustenance for a hardcore marathon sesh though. More of a banana guy. Then again, I don’t ride 12’ foamies and eat from canoes aaaaaaand I’m guessing Montauk doesn’t get over waist high?
See? https://www.cnn.com/videos/politics/2021/01/17/capitol-riot-video-the-new-yorker-newsroom-vpx.cnn
Why is Trump not in prison already?
This is the sort of behavior one would expect from Australians or Mongols or other, lesser races.
Not God-fearing, law-abiding Americans.
Oh if there is a Civil War it will be just like the last one – the side that is wrong and stupid will lose.
In fact I saw a guy this morning who produces with Oliver Stone and said that should be his next movie: What if America did erupt into a Civil War?
Who would have the most weapons? The most tech? The best communications?
On for young and old, it would be.
Ben.. While I may or may not agree with your semi regular assertions regarding Australians, I along with my skippy brethren and sistren are the only ones allowed to say it. You seem like a fair minded nut case, so I thought I’d appeal to this fair mindedness and request a brief halt on the rather judgmental insulting of our collective intelligence, at least until you sort yourselves out.
Trump isn’t in jail because he is the ultimate example of an American success story. A self promoting blowhard narcissist, these traits are rewarded in the States in spades. If some cunt tried that shit on in most countries they’d be laughed at, and definitely not voted into power. I like you yanks btw, but don’t like the way it’s looking over there atm but c’mon man, we are Amigos – our countries.
Glass houses homie.
Ben.. While I may or may not agree with your semi regular assertions regarding Australians,
Oh they’re just empty insults.
Australians love to take the piss but if you do it in return they get thin-skinned, very quickly.
Not a desirable national trait, but I understand.
I along with my skippy brethren and sistren are the only ones allowed to say it. You seem like a fair minded nut case, so I thought I’d appeal to this fair mindedness and request a brief halt on the rather judgmental insulting of our collective intelligence, at least until you sort yourselves out.
I’m sorted out fine but a good chunk of this country has their heads up their asses. It’s a worry.
It’s impossible not to question the intelligence, morals, integrity and soul of anyone who supports Trump.
I am a pretty good insulter and I’ve been having a field day with all the Trump supporters, and also the people who believe California Sucks!
I am currently banned from Facebook for three days.
Trump isn’t in jail because he is the ultimate example of an American success story.
Yes and no. He is one facet of American success and not a particularly nice one. He is the ultimate ugly American: vulgar, greedy, dishonest, awful.
There are Americans who have become rich and successful with style.
Trump is a classic example of New York ambition.
His style is not Californian at all.
Where I live I am surrounded by the rich and the famous and they tend to be decent people.
Although a friend was sued by Sheldon Adelson who was a Trump crony. He just died and my friend is not in mourning.
A self promoting blowhard narcissist, these traits are rewarded in the States in spades.
Not always. Wait and see what happens to Trump once he leaves office. He is going to prison along with as many of his fuckwit prole followers as possible.
If some cunt tried that shit on in most countries they’d be laughed at, and definitely not voted into power.
Oh it’s been done elsewhere: Hitler, Mussolini, Franco, Mao, Stalin, lots of Latin American leadersetc. It’s just that Trump tried to do this in the modern world, in America and he’s a moron, so it’s not going to fly.
He was voted out after on term and is leaving office in disgrace – impeached for a second time.
He is going to prison.
Trump was and is a mistake and is a stress test for Democracy.
I like you yanks btw, but don’t like the way it’s looking over there atm but c’mon man, we are Amigos – our countries.
Oh things are looking up. The silver lining in Coronavirus is it knocked Trump out of office and we don’t have to listen to his sorry ass any more.
The silver lining in the Capitol riot is Trump completely lived up to everyone’s low expectations, and how often does that happen?
If he is impeached – or if he goes to prison for felonies – he will not be allowed to run for president again.
Hopefully Trump will have the same effect on the Republican party that Hitler had on the Nazi party.
Trump is a national embarrassment and it’s to America’s credit that we voted him out.
Now if America can just send him to prison.
And by the way, California is a whole different deal than most of the rest of the United States. We look at the Red State people the same way Switzerland and Norway look at the rest of Europe: “Poor dumb bastards. Better them than us.”
If California were to secede from America, we would have the fifth largest economy in the world.
The differences between people in Sydney and people in Melbourne and people ni Perth are not nearly as wide as people in San Francisco and people in Texas and people in New York.
Australia is culturally homogenous for the most part.
America is not, and America also has 13X the population of Australia.
Glass houses homie.
Lucy speaks for all of us. Or half of us anyway.
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What a thoughtful and thorough reply!
You make some valid points. I honestly think it’s a mistake to brand all Trumpy fans the same way though. As you say, half the country think one way and the other half hate em for it.. That’s where all this shit stems from. If Biden can’t embrace them and win em over.. I dunno man. Get the checks out and roll out the vaccine and he’ll be considered a genius after DT.
Edit* yes we do like to take the piss. Most can take it, but you gotta go a bit harder to really pull it off.
What a thoughtful and thorough reply!
Who? Me? Or Lucy? I like what Lucy had to say.
You make some valid points.
I try. I argue politics all day long from high to low.
I honestly think it’s a mistake to brand all Trumpy fans the same way though.
No, they’re all fuckwits. If you have an IQ over 110, you know he’s a fraud.
One of my favorite insults is to say it takes a PhD to understand how complex the world is, but most Americans struggle to spell PhD.
Whatever, Trump was just a stress test for Democracy.
One of the good things about America is we will give anyone a shot.
We let a half-black man from a dysfunctional family from nowhere – from Hawaii – have a shot at being president and he did a good job.
So we gave Trump a shot and he completely fucked it up and now he’s going, going and hopefully gone for good.
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As you say, half the country think one way and the other half hate em for it.. That’s where all this shit stems from. If Biden can’t embrace them and win em over..
Biden won’t win them over but he and his team will come in and clean up the mess just as Obama came in and cleaned up after Bush43 – and Gerry Brown cleaned up California after Schwarzenegger – Republicans screw it up. Democrats clean it up.
I dunno man. Get the checks out and roll out the vaccine and he’ll be considered a genius after DT.
I’m reading Obama’s A Promised Land right now and appreciate the many-headed hydra Obama and his team faced when they took office. So many giant problems, but they fixed them and set the table and then Trump came in and shit all over the table.
So now Biden and team will have to set the table again.
And now that the Democrats have control of the House and the Senate and the White House I am hoping they act with great vengeance and furious anger and go Nuremberg on Trump and his cronies. String them up,
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Edit* yes we do like to take the piss. Most can take it, but you gotta go a bit harder to really pull it off.
Turnabout is fair play and if you can’t take the piss, don’t dish it out. Or something.
New Yorker has always been the smartest, best-written periodical in America and probably the world.
I know Warshaw grew up reading New Yorker and probably Hawk and maybe even Chas.
That’s how you do it: Be smart, and assume some intelligence on the part of your reader.
Be smart, be accurate, don’t hold back.
Praise the good and demolish the bad: https://www.youtube.com/wat…
And now they are back to taking names and kicking ass.
Ronan Farrow and New Yorker pretty much launched the #metoo movement, for better or worse.
And they’ve barraged Trump non stop, because Trump is a joke.
Problem is, it takes a PhD to understand the New Yorker and half of America struggle to spell PhD.
Talks shit about a media outlet that is exploiting the political divide, then goes on to write an article exploiting the political divide. Genius.
Who said that irony was dead?
Andy Irony is dead.
That is a true statement.
I used to read that rag, even had a subscription, Finnegan ruined it.
Not entirely true about The New Yorker.
I’ve said there are three good things about Trump:
1. He made Saturday Night Live great again.
2. He made The New Yorker great again.
3. Americans have NEVER been as engaged in politics – for better or worse – than the last four years.
There was a time when New Yorker was cutting edge, relevant and a fearless stirrer of shit what needed stirring.
Those days have returned.
Ronan Farrow is kicking ass and taking names with the whole #metoo deal.
I’ve seen Mira Sorvino around Malibu and wondered what happened to her as an actress. Maybe she won an Oscar for Mighty Aphrodite and pulled a Bridget Fonda and was over it?
Nope, Harvey Weinstein happened to Mira Sorvino – bad mouthed her and sunk her career – and Ronan Farrow helped put that Fat Bastard in prison – by way of The New Yorker – and good on him.
They loved Obama and have been broadsiding Trump non stop and good for them.
Although there are glitches.
Read this piece about Hollister Clothing by that dude with the surfer name – Dave Eggers.
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/07/20/the-actual-hollister
No mention of the surfing area between Gaviota and Point Conception.
This story is all about the town of Hollister which is only obliquely connected to the branding of the faux clothing company.
(Inside story: A & F were going to call it J.T. Slater and Co, which would have been a very bad idea)
An astonishingly incorrect article, considering New Yorker has always been the hallmark for getting shit right.
They don’t make mistakes. Ever.
But New Yorker is still the place to go for the good oil.
They’re biased, but biased toward truth, justice and the American way.
yeah yeah yeah Ben but this story is still incredibly shit.
Which, the Hollister story or the guy surfing Montauk from sunrise to sunset?
That’s no easy feat, surfing cold water like that, for anyone of any age. And it’s written in that effete* New Yorker style that some might find elitist and lightweight and etc.
I mean one of their people won a fricking Pulitzer for writing about surfing, but it’s still writing about, well, you know…. surfing.
Sniff.
The Hollister story is worse. Way worse because it’s deeply inaccurate.
Have you been to Montauk? I went a few years ago and was shocked by how green and verdant and nice it is.
Like California green and verdant.
*Effete = affected, overrefined, and ineffectual.
If I wore a white wetsuit in Montauk, would that be a racist micro aggression?
Only if you declare “All Wetsuits matter!”
Depends…was it before Memorial Day or after Labor Day?
Also…I think salmon colored pants/shorts are the new Klan hoods.
“As dusk fell, a handful of spectators greeted Grosvenor’s landfall with cheers. Mamoun, wearing a “Free Palestine” hoodie, threw his arms around his father and, handing him the last of the doughnuts, said, “All right! Free doughnut! Black lives matter!”
This singular stupidity is literally ruining NY.
Oh, and a guy who makes “experimental films” is code for a Trust Funder with no job.
Which Hampton is he from, ya think …
Just “The Hamptons.”
Haha!!! Of course!!!
even from as far as you can get from NY, this story still sucks almost beyond comprehension
Coming from yourself Nick, this sure means a lot
NYC is dying and the state is struggling overall.
People are leaving and tax revenue is drying up.
And what’s worse….there us no Rudy Giuliani-type to save the city from itself.
The next crop of mayoral wannabes is just as incompetent and irrational as Comrade Warren Wilhelm.
Names the spot in the first sentence
Really chumming up the waters with this one….