Watch: New Zealand man lives worst nightmare, forced to run in slow motion from two sharks snapping at heels!

The horror, the horror.

If there is one thing that unites all humans, be they Antifa or Proud Boy, Brexiter or Continentalist, it is the nightmare of being chased by someone, or something, and only being able to run in very slow motion.

Well, a New Zealand man lived our collective horror in real life.

There he was, enjoying a warm summer’s day at the popular Ōhope Beach with other revelers. Warm water, beautiful sun but… SHARK!

The shout went up and the man looked over his shoulder then started that very slow motion run. The fins get closer, man running slow, stuck in quicksand, absolute nightmare.

Did he survive?

Let’s ask Phil Squire who caught the whole action with his 15-year-old daughter Eliza. Word had been spreading that sharks were present but that didn’t stop the Squires from getting it.

“(My daughter) was a bit nervous, she was definitely staying on her board with the possibility of sharks and stingrays around … but I think it added to the excitement. We did a lot of surfing around those beaching but weren’t dipping our toes in, in case they got nibbled.”

The possibility of sharks and stingrays adding to the excitement of surfing? Very brave and maybe she can life coach Pip Toledo or other professional surfers who need a jolt.

In any case, the shout went up and Phil Squire saw the man freaking out, trying to run, and make it to the beach.

Eliza filmed with a steady hand.

He made it will all toes intact though acted panicky.

Not brave like the young Squire.

Watch here.

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World surfing champion turned property tycoon Mick Fanning set to reap multi-million dollar profit after listing one of his three apartment blocks on Coolangatta’s “golden mile”!

Be real quick! Will be sold etc.

The Irish soccer legend George Best put it best, I think, when he said, “I spent a lot of money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.”

Mick Fanning, who won world titles in 2007, 2009 and 2013 before retiring in 2018 after seventeen years on tour, has pissed away his millions on real estate and various business plays, including Balter Beer which sold one year ago for a rumoured two-hundred mill.

Now, Mick, who turns forty in June, is selling one of the three apartment blocks he owns on Boundary Street, Coolangatta, the strip that divides Coolangatta, in Queensland, and Tweed Heads, in NSW, and footsteps from Snapper Rocks’ Supabank.

Mick bought the joint at 213 Boundary Street, Coolangatta, for $3.1 million in 2007 and turned the old red-brick fifties build into something a little easier on potential buyers’ eyes with soothing vanilla interiors, black faucets, wooden flooring and with breeze-block walls enclosing patios.

Square black taps, a lesson in edgy chic.

The agent calls it a “luxurious homestead.”

There are two three-bedroom apartments, each with its own studio or granny flat, two garages, and the building squats on five-thousand square feet. 

The selling agent says y’can rent the big apartments out for eight hundred dollars a week and you’ll get five hundred for the tiny joints underneath ‘em. 

Inspection dates, times, here. 

Be quick.

There’s a fever for real estate on the Gold Coast at the moment, a frenzy bigger than bitcoin or Tesla, with even shitty old houses on streets famous for their cavalcades of human detritus selling for millions. Gonna be sold real quick.

Mick also owns the building next door, which he bought for 2005 for $1.39 million and another two doors down, bought for $1.2 million in 2006. 

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Breaking: HBO inks deal for six-part Garrett McNamara documentary as he searches for “Surfing’s Everest!”

Anderson sad.

And it seems like just days ago that we were all reminded of surfing’s “Holy Grail,” its “Mt. Everest,” is the mythical 100-foot wave because it was. On January, 21st TMZ declared Oahu’s Makua Rothman bagged one and ooooee the 100-foot wave back in the spotlight.

Where it belongs.

HBO, always finger on pulse, just announced a six-part documentary following Garrett McNamara on his quest for his own.

Per Deadline:

Directed and executive produced by Chris Smith and executive produced by Emmy winner Joe Lewis, the six-part HBO Sports Documentary series 100 Foot Wave plumbs the depths of those questions through the quest of one man. The series intimately follows the decade-long odyssey of big-wave pioneer Garrett McNamara who, after visiting a small fishing village in Portugal, helped push the sport beyond the realm of imagination.

Do you think Anderson Cooper will feature?

Here’s to hoping but also Cooper appeared on HBO’s number one competitor Showtime.

Fingers crossed, in any case.

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Scene from a Newcastle negotiation room.

WSL claims “massive audiences” of “10 million live” for events as Newcastle mayor calculates “conservative” $15-million boost for Merewether; state’s deputy premier slams Lennox Head residents as NIMBYS!

"Everybody wants all the investment by government, but as long as it's not in their backyard. It's a real problem…”

The fall-out from Lennox Head’s overwhelming rejection of the WSL can be likened, I think, to a successful small business refusing the buy-out of a corporate monster, an Amazon, an Apple. 

An offer too good to refuse etc.

For some, and particularly on the right side of politics, the belief that there can be something more appealing and important than money, a town wanting to retain a village feel for example, beggars belief. 

When the Ballina Council voted, eight-to-two, against a WSL event at Lennox Head-Sharpes, the state’s deputy mayor, Giovanni “John” Barilaro, said the decision was a classic case of Not-In-My-Backyard (NIMBY) syndrome. 

Local graffiti.

“I think this area is a NIMBY area, sorry to say it,” Mr Barilaro told the ABC. “Everybody wants all the investment by government, but as long as it’s not in their backyard. It’s a real problem…”

Merewether, a lovely and on-the-up beachside suburb of Newcastle where two million Australian dollars barely gets you near the beach, meanwhile, is shouting to the heavens at the joy, and money, the event will bring the joint. 

Newcastle’s Lord Mayor Nuatali Nelmes told the ABC the contest is going to inject, “conservatively” at least fifteen-mill into the city, almost double the eight-mill or so that flows into Torquay each easter. 

The WSL’s Andrew Stark says the Merewether CT will “get a massive audience… We’re seeing audiences of like 10 million live across our linear and digital broadcasts and along with all the post production.”

Not real sure how those figures are arrived at, although the WSL’s Instagram and TikTok numbers are pretty robust. 

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Dana McGregor (left) with Pismo.
Dana McGregor (left) with Pismo.

In whimsical new craze, goats are taken surfing to mend broken nation: “We are just trying to bring hope and healing to people’s hearts through surfing!”

Beautiful.

Our very own Steve “Longtom” Shearer is a goat rancher of some note but has likely never considered the cathartic power of the creatures he maintains as fully as Dan McGregor, who lives on California’s central coast.

There, McGregor has his goat ranch but, unlike Longtom, he teaches his to surf and uses that power to mend an extremely broken nation.

Recently, McGregor and friends took a tour from their hometown of Pismo Beach all the way down to San Clemente with one of their surfing goats named Pismo. Having arrived, a group of at least five grown men paddled Pismo out on a SUPsquatch, spun and paddled the Capra into knee high closeouts.

The event was covered by much media.

“We are just trying to bring hope and healing to people’s hearts through surfing,” McGregor told The Los Angeles Times.

Those who voted for Donald J. Trump and those who voted for Joseph R. Biden could be seen on the beach, watching, feeling a profound sense of closeness.

Back to Longtom, though, I think his goats may be used to heal the now-gaping rift between Lennox Head and the World Surf League. I think WSL CEO Erik “ELo” Logan would enjoy participating and could show off his SUP skills while bringing hope and healing.

Very cool.

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