“In Miki’s spirit let’s buy his board and ride it. We cannot let yet another collector dry dock this thing."
In a response to the auction of a raft of iconic surfboards this Friday, Silver Lakes-based clothing brand Innocnts has launched a GoFundMe account in the hope of saving collector surfboards from a “prison sentence” attached to the wall of non-surfing collectors.
“It seems disrespectful to the object to not let it serve its purpose,” says Innocnts. “A slap in the face to the many hands that poured their time, energy and mana into the chunk of foam. The modern surf shop is a grotesque hangman’s gallows, a perversion of the American dream. The equipment worth riding gathers dust hanging from nooses while they only sell rows of pop-out soft-tops. This is a jail break coup! Oh and also the so called ‘collectors’ only have enough money to ‘collect’ because they were too busy working to surf. Most of them can’t even stand up on a board and never could. Fuck em.”
The brand figures, raise money, buy as many boards as funds allow, let ‘em be ridden.
“This is not an investment to make money. We are going to ride it. If you donate over 100$ your name goes on a list and if you present your photo ID and negative Covid test you get to ride the board at first point Malibu. The board will have security with mirrored sunglasses and a velvet rope.”
The first goal is the acquisition of a 1967 Miki Dora Da Cat model, predicted to sell for ten gees.
“In Miki’s spirit let’s buy his board and fucking ride it. We cannot let yet another collector dry dock this thing. We must prevent another grotesque wall hanging (prison sentence) !!! This is the way. We need to know if we can count on you as no limit soldiers?!? Are you in?! Fuck this collector crap let’s gamestop this bitch and lose it into the rocks like kings !!! If we do not meet our goal you get your money back. If we win this board we win it together! It’s simple ! Do the math.”
And, more importantly, “Donate, repost and spread the gospel. (We) are taking back the culture one wall hanger at a time!”
So far, a thousand bucks in the kitty.