"The last thing Australian animals need is also to be stood on by grown men looking for attention."
An Australian man caused much outrage, grief, days ago when a blurry image of the nameless legend appeared on Reddit surfing a giant crocodile. It was captioned “Most Aussie Photo I Have” though deleted 24-hours later but not before the press grabbed hold leading to much outrage, grief.
Described as a “tradie,” the man is wearing short pants, no shoes and a classic high visibility jacket. The crocodile is sporting a rope from his jaws to the man’s hands.
Pundits declared the crocodile was either “trapped” or “drugged” or “dead.”
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, not to be confused with The People™, immediately weighed in with spokesperson Emily Rice declaring, “If this stunt is the ‘most Aussie thing ever,’ we should be ashamed. Animals are not surfboards, and we should no more be applauding a person who ‘surfs’ on a crocodile than we should applaud jockeys who whip horses or marine park trainers who torment dolphins. The last thing Australian animals need is also to be stood on by grown men looking for attention.”
Imagine if PETA watched the World Surf League broadcast from Rottnest Island and learned that the endemic quokkas are fed lots of junk food and used solely for selfies with ’69 World Champion Wayne “Rabbit” Bartholomew (quokka pictured in foreground).
Australia is, in any case, still said to be reeling from the photo. It is being whispered that whoever shaped Taj Burrow’s Rottnest board is considering joining the “last-thing-Australian-animals-need-is-to-be-stood-on-by-grown-men-looking-for-attention” lawsuit.
More as the story develops.