King of the Klaim!
Busy days, these ones, with much running here and there, to and fro, and so I missed much of yesterday’s hot action at The Main Break.
Thankfully, we all have Longtom and as soon as my eyes opened, this morning, they were glued to his latest brilliance.
I was thoroughly enjoying, per the norm, but stopped cold at the following paragraph:
Jordy laid on a heroic/tragic claim on a minor left to score the four-point ride needed to best Julian Wilson. Kanoa bested it on his best wave to persuade judges to give him a score to lead in his heat. If words can be violence in our current safe space culture, what status do we allot to claims which offend?
Mind racing.
Reeling.
Did Jordy do it again?
Room left in the tank for one more bit of musical theater?
I raced to the World Surf League’s YouTube channel, furiously scrolling for the heat until realizing ELo and gang don’t do that sort of thing anymore so clicked over to the full day stream and scrubbed and scrubbed until I found.
It was better than I could have ever hoped.
Peak awkward both physically and emotionally and has anyone ever done it better in professional surfing’s history?
Make both skin and soul crawl from exuberance?
No and never.
Jordy Smith may never win a World Title but he will forever be King of the Klaim*.
*Klaims are like krab. Bizarre versions of the real thing but sometimes, in certain situations, oddly tastier.
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More claims . They end the ride quite nicely in fact. What’s so cool about standing there like you just don’t care ? This is the WZL ain’t it ? It’s meant to be entertaining in any way possible. Bring em on .
Gonna change my handle to ‘Jordy’s low key claim’.
I claimed it first.
They still run a youtube live feed in a weird Spanish/portugese bilingual version. It has one spanish speaking announcer and one portugese announcer that actually work really well together for two guys who dont speak the same language but hold real solid commentary.
In the same vein of using the Hawaiian term for surfing (the Sport of Kings) he’e nalu, might we similarly honour the new Sport of Klaims with another Hawaiian neologism: Kaena ‘u’u ‘Boastful wanking’?
My grammar is doubtlessly off, but please correct me.
Bukkake?
There was also another wonderful Jordy moment, with about 40 seconds on the clock he paddles over to Jules & shakes hands, turns around & makes out like he’s paddling in, Jules wasn’t even watching, gets away from him & picks up that little left runner – Gabs would have been proud!
credit given where credit due. That is clever.
Could we have a claim off before the event’s to keep comps claim free yet exceptional claim efforts still recognised?
The claims of Jordy and Kanoa always come across like a spoilt brat demanding ice cream when Mum said no!
Jordy’S myth
RipCurl really has some self anointed arseholes on its team , infact i would go as far as to say RipCurl,s atheletes should be renamed the ” arsehole team of the century “.
Jordy is gaining forehead at an alarming rate, shave it brother, it’s already time, so sorry
Also ‘Klaim’ is probably copyrightable, so a win there.
Kanvas by Katin was already taken!
honestly he made a pretty cutting-edge athletic endeavor look so basic and mechanical. that’s not a good thing, but he’s fucking good at it, that’s for sure. they all are. but when they make it look like he did…..fuck man i dunno, i’d just rather watch Dane or TC even in shit waves
I liked those two reos. Thought they came as a nice surprise.
Honestly, Kanoa’s claim made me shudder with a level of cringe I thought impossible to achieve from the benign act of viewing a wave riding event. It was so unpleasant and distasteful that it practically erased all foul memory of Jordy’s desperate dance.
It wasn’t very “Japanese” of him. That level of outward emotion is likely to have him denaturalised.
link?
found it: http://www.youtube.com/watc…
Jordy’s Krusty the Klown Klaim
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
https://lanfibinguseat.cf
Always liked a nice deep fried crabstick, a guilty pleasure.
How about Jordan’s hot mike f-bomb as he walked onto the sand?
Jordy showed some self awareness after the fact – which is negative points in the claim world.
Kanoa’s “passion” came from a place of pure self love.
I wonder how the claim will fare in the eyes of Olympics judges?
49’r: “I’ve mined just about every sort of claim to hit it rich. It’s all about the riches bitches. BUT, I’ve got to say, I wouldn’t claim that mine, to mine, no matter how rich that vain may be.”