From grunge to athlete to sex kitten, the continuing fashion evolution of John John Florence.

Door opens to two-time world surfing champ John John Florence’s $12 million start-up, Florence Marine X; offerings include the rumoured hooded rash shirt for $80 and a $750 Japanese-made wetsuit!

“Curiosity and obsession for exploration!”

Florence Marine X, a twelve-million dollar start-up, is to John John Florence what Former is to Dane Reynolds, a labour of love for men repulsed by the hoops the major surf labels had made ‘em jump through. 

Reynolds turned down millions to display a sticker from Quiksilver; John John wasn’t so into Hurley’s pivot  into inflatable pool toys and beard oils. 

Now, and after much ado, Florence Marine X has opened its online store which sells, boardshorts, t-shirts, lycra or “active” shirts, hats and wetsuits.

The boardshorts are standard enough, most made in various shades of dull, the hats are hats, the tees are tees, but the hooded rash vests are a sight to behold, worn, I imagine, by VALS or Tom Curren (to jump on The Grit’s Kook or Curren gag), yours for eighty shekels.

The sex-kitten look.

If you want a wetsuit, y’ain’t gettin’ it cheap.

Wetsuit jackets, $250, a two mm impact suit is $650 and a Japanese-made three mm steamer costs $750. Only smalls left in the three mm wetsuit; large and XLs in the padded suit and most of the jackets are done until June.

But, excellent quality, one must imagine, a trademark of the Japanese cult of artisan craftsmanship. The red pennant logo gives a feel of unfettered glamour and will capture popular imagination, at least for those chasing the athletic-wear-meets-the-street look.

It’s a curious website with a fringe brand feel about it and y’gotta buy a twenty-dollar life membership to get anything although memberships are only available to US customers therefore etc.

Shop here.

Just in: Watch the incredible moment a Californian surfer accidentally slaps a Great White shark, “I can’t comprehend how this surfer did not see the White shark!”

"Every time a shark gets close to a surfer I get nervous – perhaps it's because the vast majority of attacks are on surfers…"

It gives me enormous pleasure to watch videos like this, a five-minute short filled with drone footage of juvenile Great Whites, the feistiest of ’em all, happily swimming around packs of surfers in southern California.

Where is the blood? Where is the terror?

Drone photographer James Glancy has made it his thing to fly his drone along the Californian coast and record what are either “close calls”, which presumes attack is always imminent when Whites are around, or evidence that Whites only go in for the kill when visibility is real low and they think the shredder is a seal or whatever.

“The further south I go (in California) the more sharks seem to enjoy the surf,” says Glancy. “They’re right there next to humans most of the time… the humans sharing their home have no idea. A surfer falls off a board, within reach of the shark, yet the shark shows no interest… as I filmed these encounters I felt that perhaps they’re not the mindless hungry fish I thought they were.”

At the three-ish min mark, the drone pulls back to show a scene of happy man-beast co-existence.

“The following clip is a demonstrative example of this concept. The White shark is surrounded by surfers. I purposefully left the drone stationary to capture the whole scene. It appears no surfers know the shark is there and yet the shark appears relaxed and in no way makes aggressive moves.”

Glancy admits he still gets a lil shiver seeing Whites real close to people, howevs.

“Somehow,” he says, “every time a shark gets close to a surfer I get nervous – perhaps it’s because the vast majority of attacks are on surfers. Watching this again, I can’t comprehend this surfer did not see this White shark… a great example of how White sharks are truly non-aggressors the vast majority of the time.”

Reassuring, yes?

And if you were shredding with your VAL-pals and a drone guy was shooting Whites swimming around your feet, would you expect a lil courtesy call?

"This show is for the bros!"
"This show is for the bros!"

Breaking: Calls mount for World Surf League CEO, executive producer of surefire reality smash “The Ultimate Surfer” Erik Logan to explain lack of Brazilians, diversity!

Blinded by the white!

The official cast of this summer’s surefire reality television smash “The Ultimate Surfer” was announced to great fanfare, hours ago, but as the trumpets of praise begin to fade they are being matched by a cacophony of confusion.

Why no Brazilians and/or diversity?

The World Surf League, under the pale right hand of Nebraska-bred SUP enthusiast Erik “ELo” Logan has pivoted the Santa Monica-based organization hard woke in recent months, making certain to be at the bleeding edge of pronoun usage etc. and yet his cast resembles a revamped Brady Bunch.

Covid will, no doubt, be fingered but are there zero Brazilian surfers living in The United States?


South African sons of famous flugelhornists who also count Kelly Slater as a best best pal?


That proud South American nation is the only, currently, producing anything whatsoever “ultimate” in “surfing” and to leave entirely out seems… shortsighted.

But seriously and I hate to poke*, how did this even happen?

More as the story develops.

*I don’t.

Team challenge anyone?

Breaking: WSL officially announces highly anticipated cast of “world’s greatest up-and-coming surfers” starring in this summer’s reality TV surefire hit Ultimate Surfer!


Oh my goodness, you guys. Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness. The World Surf League JUST announced the cast to this summer’s surefire reality TV smash hit and I’m FREAKING OUT!

Ultimate Surfer, which will air at the coveted 10pm ET/PT time slot on ABC has been whispered about for year(s) now and ok ok ok ok ok.

It’s going to be hosted by C-list ex-NFL Canadian quarterback Jesse Palmer.

Joe Turpel is going to call the action (JUST LOOK AT THAT FACE!)

And it is going to star…


Kai Barger – 31, Haiku, Hawaii
Austin Clouse – 27, Jacksonville Beach, Florida
Mason Barnes – 27, Venice, California
Ezekiel Lau – 27, Honolulu, Hawaii
Luke Davis – 28, Los Angeles, California
Alejandro Moreda – 35, San Juan, Puerto Rico
Koa Smith – 26, Sunset Beach, Hawaii


Brianna Cope – 26, Koloa, Hawaii
Kayla Durden – 28, Jacksonville Beach, Florida
Bruna Zaun – 31, Redondo Beach, California
Juli Hernandez – 23, Costa Mesa, California
Malia Ward – 23, San Clemente, California
Anastasia Ashley – 34, Miami Beach, Florida
Tia Blanco – 24, Oceanside, California


More as the story develops.

P.S. Look at Joe Turpel’s face again.

Breaking: Jordy Smith cements position at tippy-top of most physically, emotionally, awkward claimers in professional surfing history!

King of the Klaim!

Busy days, these ones, with much running here and there, to and fro, and so I missed much of yesterday’s hot action at The Main Break.

Thankfully, we all have Longtom and as soon as my eyes opened, this morning, they were glued to his latest brilliance.

I was thoroughly enjoying, per the norm, but stopped cold at the following paragraph:

Jordy laid on a heroic/tragic claim on a minor left to score the four-point ride needed to best Julian Wilson. Kanoa bested it on his best wave to persuade judges to give him a score to lead in his heat. If words can be violence in our current safe space culture, what status do we allot to claims which offend?

Mind racing.


Did Jordy do it again?

Room left in the tank for one more bit of musical theater?

I raced to the World Surf League’s YouTube channel, furiously scrolling for the heat until realizing ELo and gang don’t do that sort of thing anymore so clicked over to the full day stream and scrubbed and scrubbed until I found.

It was better than I could have ever hoped.

Peak awkward both physically and emotionally and has anyone ever done it better in professional surfing’s history?

Make both skin and soul crawl from exuberance?

No and never.

Jordy Smith may never win a World Title but he will forever be King of the Klaim*.

*Klaims are like krab. Bizarre versions of the real thing but sometimes, in certain situations, oddly tastier.