FREAKING OUT!
Oh my goodness, you guys. Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness. The World Surf League JUST announced the cast to this summer’s surefire reality TV smash hit and I’m FREAKING OUT!
Ultimate Surfer, which will air at the coveted 10pm ET/PT time slot on ABC has been whispered about for year(s) now and ok ok ok ok ok.
It’s going to be hosted by C-list ex-NFL Canadian quarterback Jesse Palmer.
Joe Turpel is going to call the action (JUST LOOK AT THAT FACE!)
And it is going to star…
MEN
Kai Barger – 31, Haiku, Hawaii
Austin Clouse – 27, Jacksonville Beach, Florida
Mason Barnes – 27, Venice, California
Ezekiel Lau – 27, Honolulu, Hawaii
Luke Davis – 28, Los Angeles, California
Alejandro Moreda – 35, San Juan, Puerto Rico
Koa Smith – 26, Sunset Beach, Hawaii
WOMEN
Brianna Cope – 26, Koloa, Hawaii
Kayla Durden – 28, Jacksonville Beach, Florida
Bruna Zaun – 31, Redondo Beach, California
Juli Hernandez – 23, Costa Mesa, California
Malia Ward – 23, San Clemente, California
Anastasia Ashley – 34, Miami Beach, Florida
Tia Blanco – 24, Oceanside, California
FREAKING OUT!
More as the story develops.
P.S. Look at Joe Turpel’s face again.
It’s the chippendales !
Koa smith onboard too, what a surprise.. Loud mouthed seppo wankers seeking attention must have been the callout
Wow settle down, lol, you act like you just won a billion dollars or something
Surefire? I’m looking at these promo photos and all I see is a dumpster fire!
Shama Beckford or one of Billy Wilmot’s crew would surely add some nice spark to this show. But perhaps (hopefully anyway) team Jamaica would have too much self-respect to take part in it. https://www.youtube.com/wat…
she beautiful, but terrible at surfing
He built my Hot-rod!
Up and coming? Average age is 28, I thought this is high-performance wave sliding not my nan’s bridge league.
Does a root with Wardo’s daughter come with a complimentary punch in the face from her old man?
Icicle in the eye! Tahoe style!
Goddam. They really rubbed bland on top of bland here eh? Almost made it’s and the wave tank. Should be enthralling.
Clearly Surfing is all about diversity… this will show the world that. Look, its got Kai and he’s…. Old
World Surf League focus group session https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Kelly Kelly Kelly
Pros with logo-less boards… maybe one of them will win Haleiwa in 1990.
This. Is. Epic.
Spoiler alert: Ultimate Surfer is actually The Bachelor, and the winner gets to marry Kelly.
“but my girlfriend is Chinese so I can’t be racist!”
I’d love to see Koa swaddle Kelly like a baby.
Ultimate surfer? chitz more like ultimate has-been! I was kinda under the impression it was going to feature up and coming talent. Geez Azz Ashely has been around the blocks a few times eh? And the guys are ones who couldn’t maintain or never good enough to make it to the ‘CT. Now, they will be the ultimate surfer? uuuh yeah ok.
However, that chic in the yellow bikini is kinda hot!
Yeah but she’s Vegan & not only that a Californian Vegan!
Love island, Jersey Shore, Living Lahaina, Ultimate Surfer, OnlyFans….
Bugz will be a no-show in the booth for the Finals Day if he sees that pic of the robot…
Am I allowed to use the word “camp”?
I thought you were going down the line of giving him redemption for when he was going to requalify at sunset until Jack Robbo ditched his board infront of him and the judges pretended they never saw it so that Jack would get the win and qualify.
I still think about that moment. Still one of the most bizarre things I’ve seen in a heat. The most blatant interference ever fully ignored by the commentary and judges. I too prefer jack for the tour but fuck this was ridiculous
I kinda like that dude’s shirt. Not the collar, but the print.
Which brings me to my real point which is wondering how the aloha-wear industry will square up to the ‘Alt-Right’ in North America co-opting ‘Hawaiian shirts’ as a symbol for sedition, racism and misogyny.