Summer's here (Australia not included)!

It was almost one year ago, now, that BeachGrit gained exclusive access to top-secret plans that showed the future of Hurley. The once high-end surf brand had recently been purchased by Bluestar Alliance, a company which promised to “embark on a complete and thorough understanding of the brand’s potential channels of distribution and price point strategies. We create tools such as brand development profiles, trend guides, style guides and marketing strategies. These marketing materials portray graphic illustrations and a strategic marketing road map to enhance consumer brand recognition.”

The staff was culled, apparently unnecessary on the journey of complete understanding, and top-secret plans leaked showing an inflatable wave runner and an inflatable wave.

Almost one year ago, now, but the dream is officially reality.

The Hurley Inflatable Wave Runner Pool Float is available at all fine retailers including Walmart and Amazon for an average price around $15.99.

If you live in North America or Europe, with summer right around the corner, I can’t imagine not owning.

Heck, I don’t even have a pool and am considering a purchase for to do whip ins at Cardiff Reef.

Do you think it is a 2 or 4 stroke?

Exciting.

Celebrate!

It was many months ago, or maybe years, that the World Surf League kicked off its 2020/21 championship tour season at the very famous Banzai Pipeline. Fans of professional surfing were thrilled, as were the professional surfers themselves, who flew to Oahu’s North Shore and became tested for the dreaded Covid-19 and neither came to within six feet of each other nor spoke to each other without masks.

But even with the abundances of caution, that dreaded Covid-19 found a chink in the armor and infected World Surf League CEO Erik Logan who, in turn, made an announcement that he had been infected, along with five staffers, and that the Pipeline Masters would be suspended whilst he convalesced.

Days, or maybe weeks, later it resumed and John John Florence won and Tyler Wright won but the next event, at Sunset, was cancelled and all subsequent surf competitions were cancelled forever.

Or, rather, until June 1, 2021 which Governor David Ige has officially selected to banish the Curse of Erik Logan and allow for points to be awarded for hand jams off the top.

State Health Director Libby Char told Honolulu Civil Beat, “The data shows us pretty clearly now that outdoor activities is quite safe. The transmission rates are very, very low, I believe it’s less than 1% if you’re outdoors.”

The Curse of Erik Logan had been a severe burden, not just on aspiring professional surfers, but all Hawaiians as even the U.S. Surgeon General was ticketed for trying to take pictures outside.

“F*ck the WSL” he might have been thinking.

But a very happy ending with the state’s children being able to go out and chase their dreams and know they are chasing their dreams properly because of hooters going off.

Very cool.

"So, what do we do? Do we throw our arms up, sigh in defeat, and let the guests dictate the state of our home?"

Frustration has been brewing for months, now, between those who have been surfing for, like, two years and those who took up the Pastime of Kings during the Covid-19 pandemic. Real negative feelings etc. and war now seems inevitable but who would have guessed, could have guessed, that our Fort Sumter would be Malibu’s famed wall and a general looking to take up arms would be a professor from The Surf Institute?

Strange days, indeed, but let us read from Carla Zamora’s Instagram and learn more.

Imagine your home became an amusement park. New faces flocking daily to claim their E-ticket pass, except instead of getting in line, a free-for-all of bodies bob & weave, twist and tangle in hopes of getting a thrill. They don’t even acknowledge your existence, much less recognize your local status.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but just two decades ago being “from Malibu” carried an air of prestige. We were masters of our spot, encouraged, even pressured, to surf at the highest caliber possible and given no leeway or forgiveness when we faltered. It was chaotic then, too, but there was a method to the madness; control to the chaos. Rules were not just established, they were enforced. If you publicly cried about it, you felt it even harder.

When new faces would show who were keen on making the Bu their home, they were usually met with cold shoulders, glaring stares, and difficulty getting waves. Not to mention a usually not-so-becoming nickname like PSD (Porn Star’s Daughter) or Jazz Hands or D2. While we most definitely were threading a thin line of inappropriate exclusivity, the LordoftheRing-esque vibe is what kept order. Those who wore a tough enough skin and weren’t jaded by the hazing, were eventually accepted. While I do not necessarily condone all that went down, I can absolutely appreciate the discernment.

Fast forward 20 years. A pandemic singlehandedly changes people’s lives and increases the surfing population by astronomical proportions. As an outdoor activity relatively safe from exposure, 2020 saw nearly every other Joe take up surfing and every other Schmoe become a surf coach. Young adults already versed in the sport, begin flocking in droves to park, no, camp, in our lot for days on end. (Note: this has been a problem prior to COVID). Photographers and videographers arrive with their own talent to rape and pillage the waves, shunning the existing talent who have paid their dues.

So, what do we do? Do we throw our arms up, sigh in defeat, and let the guests dictate the state of our home?

I will not. I cannot.

Please join me Tuesday 5/25 4p at The Wall to discuss, create, and implement a strategy to take back our home!

Will you attend?

Provide more if the story develops?

I’m counting on you for that and to take my home back too.

Viva the wall?

Professional surfing been in a desert of such overwhelming positivity, such saccharine sweetness, over the past five or such years that my  eyeballs almost popped out of my head, this morning, reading Jordy Smith’s brutally honest assessment of professional surfing’s Olympic debut just weeks away now.

Just yesterday, the large South African spoke with News 24, saying, “Having that extra year at our disposal was almost a blessing in disguise as we were able to get more equipment and data from the Olympic surf spot. Olympic but for the Champions Tour. In Japan, it’s (the surfboard) is going to be a lot smaller, a lot more volume and more gallons inside the board for smaller waves. They’re (the waves) are pretty gutless in Japan, obviously you can get a typhoon, but it’s rare that it’ll happen in July so you’ve got to prepare for the worst and give it your all.”

How gorgeous is that honesty? How refreshingly brutal? It did make me wonder, however, where this News 24 is based and if they did, in fact, elicit such an open response from the current world number three, so off searching I went.

My first stop was Dubuque River Rides, which had the same story but quoted Smith as saying, “They’re pretty shameless in Japan, obviously you can catch a typhoon, but that rarely happens in July, so you have to brace yourself for the worst and give it your all.”

Ouch.

Pretty shameless in Japan seems excessive but is that what he really said? A more accurate reading? And so I went searching once more finding Eminetra, which translated as, “It’s clear that Japan isn’t very brave and will be hit by a typhoon, but it rarely happens in July, so we have to do our best to prepare for the worst.”

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

It’s clear that Japan isn’t very brave and will be hit by a typhoon?

The boldest claim Smith has ever made in a series of bold claims but true? His actual words?

I find it difficult, if not impossible, to believe.

But is this why World Surf League CEO Erik “ELo” Logan has worked so tirelessly to build and maintain the patented Wall of Positive Noise?

Any criticism getting taken, negativity layered on, layered on, layered on then rebroadcast as a harsh non-sequitur?

Gutless becoming shameless becoming not brave and worthy of destruction?

“It’s clear that Japan isn’t very brave and will be hit by a typhoon” is the meanest thing I’ve ever read (that didn’t come from Kelly Slater’s mouth).

Viva the Wall?