Happy fan at earlier Surf Ranch contest. | Photo: Steve Sherman/@tsherms

Rumor: Top five World Surf League pro boycotts allotment of Surf Ranch practice waves ahead of competition, “Feels the whole thing is an abomination, anti-nature, soulless and not the only one feeling this way!”

A masked mutineer!

A hot rumor from a well-placed source floated across my horizon this morning, wafting on the cool ocean mists blanketing coastal San Diego and Orange counties. Allegedly, a professional surfer on the World Surf League’s championship tour who is currently in the top 5 has boycotted her or his practice waves ahead of tomorrow’s Surf Ranch opener out of “sheer dread.”

As you may, or may not, know, each surfer who competes in the Surf Ranch Pro gets a set number of practice waves on the days before the event. If memory serves, two lefts and two rights. It is important for any professional to re-familiarize themselves with the Ranch, its peculiarities etc., and turning the opportunity down is akin to mutiny.

My source says, “(The surfer in question) did not want to go to Lemoore ahead of the heat wave but now dreads it. Hates the wave, hates the heat, hates Lemoore and really hates the hotel. Doesn’t care about missing practice or where they finish in the comp due to lack of practice. Feels the whole thing is an abomination, anti-nature, soulless and not the only one feeling this way.”

Whoa.

And by the sheer numbers of professionals not showing up for various injuries and whatnot it would seem the mutiny is well under way.

Back to international bodyboarder Ronaldo and his single-handed sinking of Coca-Cola, how many mutinous surfers would it take to sink Surf Ranch?

Also, let’s speculate wildly as to who the above top 5 pro is!

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FiFi
FiFi
5 years ago

The wave size is maxxed out for the energy required to produce each wave. You would need a nuclear power plant to produce bigger waves….how about rip rap reefs offshore from all the SoCal jetties…

Andy Starr
Andy Starr
5 years ago

should never have been a tour location -run it no points fun show fine but as a real event . LAME

AI (for ever) .
AI (for ever) .
5 years ago

Jesus, Sydney is headed towards a lock down with 4 Covid-19 cases and little lenmore has over a hundred active cases!!!

Current COVID-19 statistics for Kings County
Last Updated: June 17, 2021 at 9:35 am

Total Cases in Kings County: 15,975 (+7) *since outbreak started*

187 (Travel Related)
8,235 (Close Contact)
4,913 (Community Transmission)
2,640 (Under Investigation)
Open Cases: 148 (+3)
Closed Cases: 15,598 (+4)
Total Deaths: 229 (+0)

From where I’d rather not be

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

I bet Uncle Lenny misses Joe

Sellme fitzgobbins
Sellme fitzgobbins
5 years ago

Why not have 2 of them out at once , like a proper heat and make them hassle for the wave when it comes ? Paddle each other right up the side of the train , punches can be thrown 2 rights and 2 lefts heat over

surfshiny
surfshiny
5 years ago

Far out

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
5 years ago

LN = cold and wet down south! Edit* ‘colder’ than usual* I swear we had like 75% of days that had decent waves through summer. As opposed to the usual howling onshore 1ft slop served up majority of summer days.

AI (for ever) .
AI (for ever) .
5 years ago

It’s got to be Taylor?

And good on her!!

Fukkada Bong
Fukkada Bong
5 years ago

It’s actually 8 in total (at least this year).

Mapski
Mapski
5 years ago

There are six women in the top five.

Black Rubber
Black Rubber
5 years ago

Not possible at this point in time. No way they could produce waves 2X

c4
c4
5 years ago

The reservoirs in Marin look like mud pits.

Black Rubber
Black Rubber
5 years ago
Reply to  c4

Looked. Now they’re just dry cracked dirt.

Capt Sensible
Capt Sensible
5 years ago

Do we now add Heat to the list of things pro surfers cant handle .

AI (for ever) .
AI (for ever) .
5 years ago
Reply to  Capt Sensible

It’s not easy on the small wave tour

Brutus
Brutus
5 years ago

is Kelly only allowed 4 waves…LOL?

Capt Sensible
Capt Sensible
5 years ago

Yes but it was a Rip curl event , that means it has heaps of Soul .

Black Rubber
Black Rubber
5 years ago
Reply to  Capt Sensible

They prefer North Korean mass graves

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
5 years ago

We had a la Nina summer here this year and barley scratched the 30’s for more that a few days in a row. That was weird, especially after apocalypse summer 19’/20′. Great waves all summer though!

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

Finally the climate drama is over!!

Billy Hunt
Billy Hunt
5 years ago

Better role up your sleeves for the next catastrophe…

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago
Reply to  Billy Hunt

The vaccine?

c4
c4
5 years ago

Couldn’t believe how he acted after Dramon accidentally hit him in the face. Lebron was still rubbing his eyes and blinking during the press conference. He said he was seeing triple when he hit that three and aimed for the middle basket. Lol.

Randommargslocal
Randommargslocal
5 years ago

Imagine for a second that the worst part of your job is surfing an uncrowded wave pool during an all expenses paid trip with your mates. And you’re anticipating it with “sheer dread”…

What the actual fuck.

Black Rubber
Black Rubber
5 years ago

You’ve clearly never been to the Central Valley of CA

AI (for ever) .
AI (for ever) .
5 years ago

The pool exposure is something they don’t like as it’s obvious for all to see, they all surf identical.

That’s there issues, they want be special but all surf like robots

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
5 years ago

Off topic.. is 44° standard for Laymere?
On topic, got’s to be Jordy right? Max credit for the abomination call. Just give it to Gabby.

Dovakin
Dovakin
5 years ago

Steph.


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