Pro surfer turned Grammy-nominated DJ Paul Fisher launches new track “Just Feels Tight” with wildly anti-WOKE, sexually explosive video!

"Chuck on ya undies and get down to Fisher's aerobic's class"

The former-pro-surfer-and-comic-turned-DJ Paul Fisher, who trades under the stage name FISHER, has launched his latest track, Just Feels Tight, with a video that’ll make you want to twist your nipples in the dark. 

Drama and attitude, mercifully, no cock shot.  

My favourite memory of Paul Fisher was when he called me what, eight, nine, years ago. It was eight pm and I was about to sit down to a delicious dinner with my (then) wife and (still) two sons. It was a Skype call from America, three in the morning or thereabouts in LA, which gave it some importance.

I removed my bib, drained my pitcher of department store red wine. (Family man.)

Was Fisher in trouble? Did my little pal require serious counsel?

As the pixels settled down to a clear picture, Fisher appeared and ordered a girl to “Show Derek ya tits! Ha ha ha ha ha!”

And now look at him!

Writes Fisher, using caps lock to full effect: CHUCK ON YA UNDIES AND GET DOWN TO FISHERS AEROBICS CLASS 🤪🤪OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO FOR ‘JUST FEELS TIGHT’ LIVE NOW. STRETCH THOSE HIPS AND FLICK THOSE WRISTS

One day in the wild and a million-plus views.


You want the bad news or the bad news? | Photo: Steve Sherman/@tsherms

Hawaiian world champ John John Florence sensationally pulls out of remainder of WSL season one week after Tokyo Olympics!

See y'all at The Pipe says John John.

The two-time Hawaiian world champ, John John Florence, has sensationally withdrawn from the next two events of the championship tour, a season ending decision given his current rating outside the world title showdown top five. 

Florence, a tall man with shortish legs whose Olympic campaign was derailed in round three by fellow American Kolohe Andino, writes,

I’ve decided to withdraw from the next two WSL events in Mexico and Tahiti. This was a really hard decision to make, but I’m not 100% healed from my knee surgery and I’m trying to do the right thing for my future health and goals. The opportunity to surf in Tokyo was once in a lifetime, and a risk I was willing to take. But looking at the rest of the year and talking with my medical team the best step forward is continuing with physical therapy for the next 60 days. I want to make sure there is nothing that keeps me from competing, and surfing the way I want to in the long term. With all that said, I’ll be ready to go for the Pipe Masters and excited to compete! 

https://www.instagram.com/p/CR975yIJ3HO/

Florence, who turns twenty-nine in October, elected to compete in the Games despite the lingering injury, a knee he banged up at Margaret River earlier this year, and which required surgery.

Meanwhile, somewhere, likely California, Kelly Slater, ashen at disappeared Olympic dream, gropes at a hand-rail and is sick. 


Diamond Handed Bitcoin investor Kelly Slater signals his subtle appreciation of BeachGrit community by including “diamond” and “hand” emojis in his Instagram bio!

He loves us, he really loves us!

Many months ago, the world’s greatest surfer took on Elon Musk in a battle over cryptocurrency investment strategies. Slater was angry that Musk for disallowing the popular Bitcoin to be used for purchasing his Teslas. As dutiful surf journalist, I felt it important to understand Slater’s various positions more deeply and dove feet first into the bubbling fount of his Instagram stories.

The first thing I noted, was a reference to “paper handed investors” or those blown here or there by the winds of change versus “diamond handed investors” who bravely hold a position.

Slater obviously with diamond hands.

For a series of stories, thereafter, the 11x World Champion was referred to, here, as “Diamond Handed Bitcoin Investor Kelly Slater.”

Now, in a subtle signal of love to BeachGrit’s one-of-a-kind community, an “irreverent online publication,” Slater has included a diamond emoji and a hand emoji in his Instagram biography.

A clear nod to the place, and people, who adore him like no other.

Does it make you feel happy that Slater is joining along? Laughing as we go?

It does me.

Heart emoji.

Heart emoji.

Heart eye emoji.


Hunter Biden, lightly controversial son of U.S. President, dons “very tight wetsuit,” gets surf lesson from voice of WSL Strider Wasilewski: “Biden’s giant pink surfboard immediately showed that he was a beginner!”

Ethicists concerned.

Of all the wonderful surf-adjacent news thought I would wake up to this morning, World Surf League commentator and great Strider “Raspberry” Wasilewski giving a Malibu surf lesson to the lightly controversial son of the United States President cum artist Hunter Biden was not on the radar.

But here we are, a gift.

The august Daily Mail captured many images of the session (must see here), describing Biden’s wetsuit as “VERY tight” and his board as “giant” “immediately showing that he was a beginner.”

His belly-to-knee-to-slip pop up also showed that he was a beginner.

Biden, for his part, appeared to be having much fun and Wasilewski appeared to have been a serviceable teacher, pushing his eager student in etc. The group, including other friends and secret service friends, were all smiles after the session as Biden’s tummy threatened to burst forth from its neoprene casing.

The Mail reveals he began renting a house in Malibu four months ago for $20,000 per month.

It features an open floor plan.

The first son, lightly controversial for his dealings in Ukraine, affairing on his wife with his widowed sister-in-law, “smoking crack and drinking vodka exclusively for a period of time,” is now an artist with pieces for sale for $500,000. Ethicists worry that purchasing his paintings will be an easy way to curry favor with the very heights of governmental power.

Ethicists.

Lame stick in the muds always.

More as the story develops.


Kanoa lands heat-winning wave; Gabriel ponders the what-ifs as gold medal hopes evaporate. | Photo: ISA/Ben Reed

Gabriel Medina launches extraordinary broadside at Kanoa Igarashi after incendiary tweet from the Japanese Olympic silver medallist: “Clowning around after you win is easy. I won countless times from him and never played. I prefer to work in silence!”

Medina responds to claims from Igarashi he's a cry-baby etc.

The two-time world champion Gabriel Medina, whose lunge for Olympic Gold was stymied by controversial judging decisions in both his semi-final and bronze-medal heats, has hit back at Olympic medallist Kanoa Igarashi after he appeared to mock the Brazilian in a tweet. 

In Portuguese, for Igarashi is fluent in Portuguese, a sort of American English as well as Japanese, he tweeted, “Chora chora q tou feliz! Hehehehe” followed by “Bla bla bla” and a laughing emoji. 

Translate, “Cry cry. I’m happy!” 

Bla bla bla, pretty explanatory. 

Medina, cry-baby etc.

The tweet went pretty mad, 877 retweets, 8,337 likes and 11.5k quote tweets.

As a blanket response to his Brazilian critics, Igarashi wrote, “I always have the utmost respect for other competitors, but I don’t have the patience for people who like to talk bad about something I don’t have control over. I did my best and that’s it.”

After landing back home in Brazil, Medina was quick to hit back at Igarashi. 

“Clowning around after you win is easy. Everyone respects each other on the circuit. I won countless times from him and never played. I prefer to work in silence, do mine and focus… I watched the waves. That’s why I held back my words, I wouldn’t speak without having watched. Comparing my best waves and his two best ones, I won the heat. I’m really sad…I don’t want to let it shake me. I received huge support from Brazil, and that only makes me stronger. Those sad days will pass and I will bring even more pride to us.”

Medina added he wanted to light up Tahiti at the 2024 Paris Games, the surfing part of the show being held at Teahupoo.

“I hope to be in the next Olympics in Tahiti, which is a wave I love. There is still a long time, three years, but my dream starts from now…”