Noa Deane was right.
Last October, the 60-year-old Surfer magazine was shuttered overnight, entire staff furloughed, by parent company A360Media. Out on ears. Wailing and gnashing of teeth etc. The group, owned by the very famous David Pecker, had purchased the august title in 2019 though ran out of surf steam in under a year.
Maybe not a surprise considering Pecker’s history.
The print edition was immediately killed while the online version was mostly killed, but not all the way, becoming what is commonly referred to as a “zombie website.”
Zombie websites are those titles with cache in the name that get kept alive, after leveraged buy outs, slashes and burns, various and sundry capitalisms because why not? Sucker born every minute. Sucker not aware that Surfer is now a Pecker. Sucker World Surf League knowing non-surfing, non-human, voices can be found to spruik Kelly Slater’s The Ultimate Surfer ahead of exciting debut.
Per the just-dropped Surfer piece:
This article was produced in partnership with ABC. Be sure to check out the premiere of “The Ultimate Surfer” on Monday, Aug. 23, and Tuesday, Aug. 24, 10/9c.
When it comes to televised entertainment, America has two loves: reality and sports. They pull in higher ratings, larger audiences, and more passionate fandoms than we know what to do with.
This summer, surfing will make its reality TV debut on The Ultimate Surfer, which premieres on August 23rd on ABC. The 8-episode show takes place at The Surf Ranch–the world’s best man-made wave–where 14 top talents will battle it out for the prize of $100k and a spot on the 2022 Championship Tour. Even if you don’t normally love watching reality television, believe us, this one is worth a watch.
But exactly what will it take to become The Ultimate Surfer?
While surfers will push their abilities in various “beach challenges”, these challenges only serve as a leg-up for when it really matters, which is during the head-to-head “surf offs” that happen in every episode. Surfers cannot be eliminated for anything except surfing itself, which puts a premium on performance and lends credibility to the format. Which is great. It would be lame to see a surfer kicked off the show because they lost on land, especially with $100k and three wildcards on the Championship Tour on the line.
Etc.
What is John Severson doing in his grave, currently?
Noa Deane was right.
Fuck the WSL.
P.S. Zeke Lau wins.