Noa Deane was right.
Last October, the 60-year-old Surfer magazine was shuttered overnight, entire staff furloughed, by parent company A360Media. Out on ears. Wailing and gnashing of teeth etc. The group, owned by the very famous David Pecker, had purchased the august title in 2019 though ran out of surf steam in under a year.
Maybe not a surprise considering Pecker’s history.
The print edition was immediately killed while the online version was mostly killed, but not all the way, becoming what is commonly referred to as a “zombie website.”
Zombie websites are those titles with cache in the name that get kept alive, after leveraged buy outs, slashes and burns, various and sundry capitalisms because why not? Sucker born every minute. Sucker not aware that Surfer is now a Pecker. Sucker World Surf League knowing non-surfing, non-human, voices can be found to spruik Kelly Slater’s The Ultimate Surfer ahead of exciting debut.
Per the just-dropped Surfer piece:
This article was produced in partnership with ABC. Be sure to check out the premiere of “The Ultimate Surfer” on Monday, Aug. 23, and Tuesday, Aug. 24, 10/9c.
When it comes to televised entertainment, America has two loves: reality and sports. They pull in higher ratings, larger audiences, and more passionate fandoms than we know what to do with.
This summer, surfing will make its reality TV debut on The Ultimate Surfer, which premieres on August 23rd on ABC. The 8-episode show takes place at The Surf Ranch–the world’s best man-made wave–where 14 top talents will battle it out for the prize of $100k and a spot on the 2022 Championship Tour. Even if you don’t normally love watching reality television, believe us, this one is worth a watch.
But exactly what will it take to become The Ultimate Surfer?
While surfers will push their abilities in various “beach challenges”, these challenges only serve as a leg-up for when it really matters, which is during the head-to-head “surf offs” that happen in every episode. Surfers cannot be eliminated for anything except surfing itself, which puts a premium on performance and lends credibility to the format. Which is great. It would be lame to see a surfer kicked off the show because they lost on land, especially with $100k and three wildcards on the Championship Tour on the line.
Etc.
What is John Severson doing in his grave, currently?
Noa Deane was right.
P.S. Zeke Lau wins.
Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
It can’t be worse than In God’s Hands can it?… what’s that? Worse? OK, well it can’t be worse than Point Break 2! Wait, what? OK ok ok. It can’t be worse than seeing Zuckerborg on a foil… faaaaak
Thanks Jen, I love recaps of shows I don’t watch! A guilty pleasure of mine is to read recaps of shows like Love at First Sight, The Bachelor etc – there’s some journo’s in AUD who are absolutely brilliant at it – cry with laughter stuff!
I will admit that I am secretly looking forward to watching at least an episode or two. I’m sure I will find humor in it somehow. Unfortunately, I will be working that night it premiers on the 23rd, so hopefully I can view it somehow on Spectrum after the fact. But if Dr. Jen is writing the recaps, I can at least look forward to reading a good write up the next day or so.
Longtom and Dr. Jen, keeping us derelicts informed about the happenings of the outside world, by peeking under the covers at Beach Grit. Thanks!
Sorry only got 20 seconds into the vid – that’s all I needed to get it!
I like that the couple up top have adopted an autistic man-child. Is that on the show?
‘Beach Challenges’…sick shit
Horrible boltons by that girl in the YouTube video she needs to go back to her doctor and learn what boobs are supposed look like. give me some big sideways looking bananas any day
Famous? I’ve never heard of David Pecker, but I’ll bet he got teased a lot by the other kids when he was in school.
Sweet holy fuck of all…. there’s literally a “barrel riding competition”:
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
might call that the “bottom of the barrel” moment!
Well, if the “celebs” are Lewis Hamilton and Jonah Hill and Leonardo – all newbie surfers – I admit it, I’ll fucking watch.
Wait… is this real? Has Kelly jumped the shark pool?
I do hope it’s the gift I believe it could be. Hopefully many Slater cameos.
If Kelly’s on form I’d love to be your wingman.
^just like the ASP / dream tour was!
haha – nice tits but still shit show – how the fuck does the pro leaugue of surfing justify 3 wildcards to a reality tv show? nice. Noa and Bobby got it right.
Please use an excessive amount of emojis to capture the vibe.
Ultimate Surfer- a show where the viewer becomes the ultimate loser.
Hahaha. Excellent catchphrase.
zeke lau may have won this battle, but we all lost the war
How awesome would it be though? Full page Hurluley adverts etc.
The worse it ends the better, U.S should be quite the car crash, looking forward to your blow by blow.