Can you guess? Do you know? Oowee etc.
At the conclusion of a golden Tuesday in San Clemente, and moments after a suddenly handsome“cocaine cowboy” WSL CEO was revealed, the two world champs were crowned and victory speeches made.
Joe Turpel reached over to Gabriel Medina and explained that he’d been “teaching us to smile, teaching us to win.”
Gabriel thanked his fans in Portuguese and, in English, praised a divine influence (“All the order and glory goes to God”) and credited his wife Yasmin for “making me comfortable even when it was stormy.”
Carissa thanked “my family, my friends, my amazing husband.”
After some thought she also thanked her coach, Newcastle’s Mitch Ross, and which point Gabriel remembered he must also thank his coach, Cronulla’s Andy King.
I didn’t hear, or note, the shocking detail missed.
One man who did, howevs, was pioneering surfboard shaper, Nev Hyman, who made his name, first with Nev Surfboards, later with Firewire, and who recently caused a ruckus with his plan to make billions out of selling pre-fab houses to Third World countries (the ruckus quickly subsided after he issued a stinging rebuttal on BeachGrit.)
Writing on Instagram,
“Awesome wins for Gabriel and Carissa (love heart emoji and BIPOC shaka… But how is that shapers, Biolos and Cabianca don’t rate a mention in the acceptance speeches?”
A little rough, yeah?
Like Louie Hamilton forgetting to thank Mercedes; like Jimmy Le Bron ignoring his Nike masters.
I texted Biolos and asked if he was sad or nonplussed; he said he didn’t notice.
I didn’t hit up Johnny Cabianca ’cause of the time diff. Also, ’cause I’m so starstruck with the man. He a genius. Most underrated shaper in the world. He could lift my glistening sex works in his palm and I’d be thrilled.
Too bad he didn’t get a lil shout-out.
What’s the feeling on the street?
And, Nev, to pro surfers,
“Please, pro surfers…show some love to the world for the crew who make the surfboards under your feet that take you to your podiums of well earned glory. (we all know you love and respect them!!)”
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If the shapers want a name drop it’s extra 300 grand per board payable by the shaper.
Any computer can shape.
Check the contract nev
Look i dig a board shaper that can shape as much as anyone , but really just because you have the cash to buy a leading rider does not make you the ” best shaper ” or even mean your making the ” best shape” its just a financial transaction.
Exactly, pros surf whichever board brand from the shaper that pays them the most.
They have there own computer files, they tell the shaper what to do.
News living in the past.
Oh my gad
to be fair, there would be a fair few Australians who wouldn’t remember the PMs name. he is a forgettable sort of chap. the one thing most people can recall about him is that he allegedly shit his pants at Engadine macdonalds after his favourite footy team lost the grand final in 97. its funny how people can forget a name but not a story.
Nev could show some respect by spelling Matt’s name right.
Hahahahah.
Sour grapes much? 🤔
Shapers are just the people your managers call to order a dozen boards, due by tomorrow.
They didn’t thank me for putting up with watching the year of wsl crapola either , cunts
Did he thank rip curl? Or just a blanket “my sponsors “?
You mean that fella from downunder?
God made Cabianca (on the 7th day according to DR) so he had him covered.
…
Who is the grumpier old man, Nev or Maurice?
Maurice by a mile
He’s a very forgettable man.
If he’s not your totally incompetent prime minister maybe.
Negs a Kiwi
Scomo an Aussie
I am aware
I thanked Nev with money, at least 3 times
“He could lift my glistening sex works in his palm and I’d be thrilled.”
Between this and the JP Currie article, it’s been a great day for surf journalism.
I’m equally awed and mirthful at DR’s ability to fit lines like that in any story!
He is peerless!
Halcyon days!
Seriously–classic. Perfect line of text.
Your wrote most those sordid soft porn ‘reader’ stories in The Picture Magazine didn’t you DR?
Observed my team of writers!
Gabe could’ve won on a Thai pop-out.
“and I thank Gaad…and Costco” #Brazilianwavestorm
Stop colonizing the top comment spot, fucker.
damn, that board looked good under Gabes feet.
You still got your Caba? I treasure mine like my ethnically mixed stable of lovers.
A quiver to be proud of… Gots to get me one
D, I don’t care if your stable of lovers is all femm.
That’s ghay af.
Jebus save us all from the transwarping.
It’s the future
hahahahah, it’s sheathed in a custom silk board bag.
What is your favorite region?
(insert BIPOC shaka)
Always been lusting for one, but the stock dims seem very low volume for their width.
May have to take a punt one day.