"I punched this thing. But it was such a measly punch compared to how big this creature was."

Six days ago, surfer Eric Steinley was hit by a ten-foot White while surfing at Salmon Creek near Bodega Bay, San Francisco sorta way. 

His buddy Jared Davis helped Steinley, who is thirty-eight, to the beach parking lot where another surfer, who happened to be a doc, used a tourniquet he kept in his car to stop the bleeding. 

Chopper came and flew him to Santa Rosa Memorial hospital.

“I was out with five guys — we heard a couple people yell shark about 50 feet away,” one surfer named Cody told KPIX. “It was by the mouth of the river. The sharks come there to get salmon…Next thing I heard the dude screaming. I knew he got bit.”

Steinley says he felt the White clamp onto his leg three times before dragging him underwater.

“I was in a lot of pain and still thinking I’m going to lose my leg or die. I just felt this heavy thing pull on me and it was like a clamp right around my leg. And we went underwater together and it was slow motion,” Steinley told ABC’s Good Morning America. “I punched this thing. And I mean, you can see just from grazing its teeth. I cut my hand. But it was such a measly punch compared to how big this creature was.”

And, then, five minutes paddle from shore, Steinley figured he was done.

“I started to see spots and then I know, you know, [thought] I’m definitely I’m not going to make it. And I catch up to Jared and he paddles next to me… He goes, ‘You going to make it, don’t look at your leg, let’s just keep going.’ And then we paddled in together until a wave came, and then I gave it my all… All of the surfers that were with me out in the water came out altogether and grabbed this big, long board and put me on that long board… (they) held me on the board, kept up the board and carried me all the way up the steps, saving time for when the ambulance got there.”

Steinley says the attack hasn’t spooked him enough to keep  him out of the drink, although he doubts surfing will have the same meditative effect it once had.

“Surfing is such a big part of my life and it really calms me down,” he told the Press Democrat. “But I just don’t know if I’ll get that feeling anymore sitting out there.”

"Hawaii residents and tourists should not have to miss their flights or stand for 3-4 hours in line at the airport security check while the super rich that own airplanes don’t have to deal with this mess and these things."

The king of the octagon, the UFC hall-of-famer, survivor of worst wavepool accident in surfing history and now candidate for governor of Hawaii, has promised to disband the Transportation Security Administration if elected in November. 

“The Afghanistan war is over,” writes BJ. “There is no need for TSA IN Hawaii anymore. As Governor I will eliminate TSA and I will find jobs for the current TSA workers. TSA was introduced to us in Hawaii in 2002 at the start of the Afghanistan war. Walking in the airport should be the same security as walking into a court house. In the ALOHA STATE Hawaii residents and tourists should not have to miss their flights or stand for 3-4 hours in line at the airport security check while the super rich that own airplanes don’t have to deal with this mess and these things. No second Identification check, a walk through metal detector, no taking off all of our shoes and jackets and throwing away all of our liquids for no reason. These things do not help our economy. These are things that police states implement. It’s time to get our way of life back… cut the red tape!!!” 

The TSA was birthed in response to the September 11 attacks on New York and DC as the USA souped up its security to Israeli sorta levels, using full-body scanners, device restrictions, air marshalls on board random flights, real clever machines that can detect a whiff of explosive in luggage etc, you know the drill, Islamic terrorism’s lasting gift to the world. 

Not all of BJ’s 330,000 fans were thrilled by the notion howevs,

With all due respect, TSA keeps bombs off airplanes I’d love to hear the alternative plan for that. Local authority?” writes @trainangry.mma

“I was rooting for you but after this post idk anymore lo,” writes @soganator.

“Cuz been knocked in the head one too many times. That CTE catching up to you,” writes @macaysa

@lomohunger, “TSA is what you’re worried about??? 😂 Not the ice problem?? I guess standing in line for a while is more important than all the drug addicted people in Hawaii.”

One notable supporter of the plan is the baseball-bat swinging, send-the-king-of-the-Hui to jail hell-raiser Ian “Kanga” Cairns, whom we last saw enjoying a DM battle with the surf feminist Lucy Small.

It’s been five days since the Hawaiian Penn, who is forty-two and of Irish-American and Korean-Hawaiian descent, posted a clip from the movie Sparta with the following call to arms, 

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life but I would never run from a fight or sell out my people. As soon as I step into Hawaii’s Governor office I will remove All new federal and state mandates that have been hurting our economy, residents, and ‘ohana. We will get the best doctors, medicines, therapies, and health care the world has to offer to fight this pandemic and always keep Hawaii among the safest and healthiest states in the union. We will get rid of all vaccine passports. Hawaii will be a vaccinated with Aloha and Unvaccinated with Aloha policy for everyone. Same with the masks 😷. We will follow the constitution to the tee 👌. I am not here to fit in with the other politicians, I am here to get our freedoms back!

The election takes place on November 8, 2022, with the incumbent, democrat David Ige, ineligible to run due to govs being allowed only two terms.