Do as I say, not as I do.
But oh, is it rude to call the world’s greatest
surfer and noted environmentalist Kelly Slater
environmentally damaging? Yes, it certainly is but is it also true?
To wit, the 11x world champion has circled the globe so many
multiple times in carbon-dioxide spewing jets. He has also flown
private, too, when he could have flown commercial spewing
carbon-dioxide on top of carbon-dioxide. He invented a wave pool in
water-starved central California, began a clothing company that
makes clothing, manufacturers surfboards in Thailand, loves and
collects Bitcoin which sucks so much energy that Elon Musk,
himself, has turned his nose up at the stink.
None of these things are bad, none are necessarily even wrong,
but for Slater is regularly championing the environment, its
protection, its cherishing, and now he is also littering Oahu’s
North Shore with self-serving sandbags that infuriate those who
lean green.
Slater was fingered in a damning
report, almost a year ago, for illegally installing a
“burrito,” or sandbag system, in front of his Ehukai house.
In 2018, Kelly Slater, an 11-time world surfing champion who
lives on Ehukai Beach by the world-famous Banzai Pipeline surf
break, illegally installed a burrito. He, as well as his neighbors,
were fined just $2,000.
Slater paid the fine and wrote to the Department of Land and
Natural Resources last year asking it to approve his illegal
structure so his home would be protected from future hurricane
surf, as well as unexpected and seasonal weather. Lemmo, in
response, rejected the request and underscored the seriousness of
the situation.
“Unfortunately, we have reached a tipping point in which
near complete loss of beach resources is a realistic future due to
sea level rise and the prevalence of [densely] urbanized shoreline
development,” he wrote to Slater, noting that the situation on the
North Shore is particularly precarious.
Lemmo added that if the state doesn’t enforce strict
policies controlling shoreline armoring “it could set in motion a
[domino] effect leading to chronic beach loss.”
Well, all this time on and the face of The Ultimate Surfer has
refused to clean up his mess. Per a new story in the Honolulu
Star-Advertiser:
The Honolulu Star-Advertiser and ProPublica published an
last year that found DLNR had granted 66 emergency shoreline
permits to property owners across the islands. Nearly half of the
permits were for properties along Oahu’s North Shore, known as the
Seven Mile Miracle because of its abundance of prime surf breaks
and stunning beaches.
Many of the beneficiaries are owners of multimillion-dollar
homes along some of the most prized beaches in the state and
include famous surfers Kelly Slater and Fred Patacchia. While DLNR
says Slater’s system was installed without permission, they haven’t
forced him to remove it.
The news organizations found the temporary sandbags and
burrito systems are rarely removed from public beaches when they
expire. Instead, state officials repeatedly have granted homeowners
extensions or don’t enforce their own deadlines, while granting
after-the-fact approval for structures that were built
illegally.
DLNR now seems to be trying to rein in the protections,
particularly along the North Shore, though none of the homeowners
have been fined or faced any other enforcement action. The state
can fine property owners $15, 000 a day for unauthorized structures
that remain on the beach.
Not a good look but would you love if Kelly Slater simply just
responded “do as I say not as I do, plebe?”
It would be bold and honest, I think.
Refreshing.
