Chilling.
Surfers, bodyboarders and standup paddleboarders residing around the Southern California gem Santa Barbara were given a shocking warning, Sunday morning, as authorities issued an alarming note declaring that a monster 17-foot Great White Shark was skirting the coast off El Capitan and hungry.
Michael Domeier, Executive Director of the Marine Conservation Science Institute, breathlessly declared, “She is not your everyday Southern California juvenile; she’s a massive adult that you should avoid.”
Terror immediately rippled through the surf community, with those who had been out in the water sharing stories. One surfer, who had been maybe straddling a Channel Islands’ Twin Pin, responded that he had seen a dorsal fin in the water that very morning “as big as a traffic cone.”
Another, probably astride a Ryan Lovelace, swore he had seen an orca out in the water because it was much too big, in his mind’s eye, to be a shark.
Still a third searched for a silver lining, stating, “I’m more scared of the juvenile curious taste test than the adult who knows that we don’t have much meat on us.”
A classic blunder assuming children are less intelligent than grown-ups.
Domeier quickly splashed water on that theory, responding, “Juvenile white sharks eat fish, stingrays and other sharks. Adult white sharks eat seals, sea lions and porpoise. Adults are more likely to bite a person than a juvenile.”
Ageism goes both ways.
More as the story develops.
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Nope. These “shark lovers” will blame the kid for wearing the wrong color wetsuit or surfing the wrong time of day.
Time to take her out! Fish tacos for the homeless 😋
Is she bending over for the shocker?
Or a white lightning drawn across her back.
Interesting timing.
I’m still trying to work out how the fuck this tagging program round the world does anything more than scare the shit outta people with knowledge? What fucking good does it do little Johnny out in the surf when the tech boffins in spaceship tower get a ping on the computer saying a 15 ft great white is lurking in little Johnny’s vicinty? Awesome, stick it on your app.
Is that info now supposed to protect little Johnny, who’s about 10 feet from the hungry shark?
Johnny needs a Whoop strap to monitor his heart rate when the shark if about to eat him and destroy his really expensive board.
Be great for the scientific data collection…
Stop blowing up secret spots! #elcapitan
Especially the ones you can see from the 101.
I want to know what Action Bronson thinks, get that bro on the shoe phone, ASAP.
The real “Queen of the coast”… Miss Poe Girl.
SharkGrit has no threat of being eaten and dying, unfortunately.
“She is not your everyday Southern California juvenile; she’s a massive adult that you should avoid.”
Far be from me to be ageist, but I still don’t think anyone should try putting their dick into a small GW either.
That’s only 9 ft Hawaiian tho
Were any of these Santa Barbaran shark spotters wearing a whoop ?
If so, how are their strain and recovery numbers looking ?
Similar to a spot of BJJ ?
More like prison training ?
Or on par with a Cardiff ‘surf’ ?
I find it increasingly offensive that Laird’s cologne is NOT recognized as the only true shark repellant capable of turning these sharks away!
17 ft? That’s a bit like 5-7ft waves