Surfing great Kelly Slater commiserates with Leonardo DiCaprio after award-winning actor’s girlfriend allegedly shares details of worst date: “He made me watch every single Star Wars movie and ran around with a lightsaber pretending to fight bad guys!”

"I mean, what's a guy to do?"

11x surfing champion Kelly Slater is, by far, the most famous of our kind, except for maybe Laird Hamilton or Jonah Hill, and both knows and communicates with other such celebrities. He also just so happens to have dated many of the same women as award-winning actor Leonardo DiCaprio including, but not limited to, the Brazilian model Gisele Bündchen and Israeli model Bar Rafeli.

Very cool and Slater, being very cool, does not exhibit any sort of dog-like jealousy toward his stablemate but, rather, commiserates and encourages.

In an alleged recent interview, DiCaprio’s alleged ex-girlfriend Camila Morrone shared details of the “worst date of her life,” saying, “He rented out a whole cinema and made me watch every single Star Wars movie while he ran around with his lightsaber pretending to fight bad guys.”

Slater, quick on the trigger, wondered, “I mean, what’s a guy to do?”

As it turns out, the quote has been disproven and Morrone and DiCaprio are still together but I’m certain the star is happy to know that the world’s greatest surfer is in his corner.

What a guy.


Dirty Water: San Francisco foil-boarder whose expensive craft was destroyed by rock-wielding local holds olive branch out to attacker, offers free foiling lesson, “I’m not very proud to come out these days and say, yeah, I’m a surfer!”

Foil-pilot John von Tesmar breaks silence on wild scene at Fort Point… 

Today’s guest on the amateurish phone-in interview series called Dirty Water is San Francisco foilboarder John von Tesmar whose board was destroyed by furious locals at Forth Point, a junky left under the Golden Gate bridge,

In case you’re not au fait with the scene at Fort Point, it has a cadre of locals former Surfer editor Steve Hawk describes simply as “dicks.”

Anyway, our guest lost his board and it got washed up on the rocks where it is attacked by an angry local who jerks a rock above his head multiple times to slay the damn thing, a video of the event going viral.

One month later, in one of the feel-good stories of the year, our foilboarder returned to Fort Point with his jet boat and foil board and rode several waves to glory, even referencing the Mattew Wilder song Break My Stride as he braved the torrid Fort Worth surf scene.

Lovers of harmonics will enjoy the concluding twenty seconds or so as von Tesmar reprises his Break My Stride moment.


Entangling alliances.
Entangling alliances.

Eagle-eyed surfer captures footage of humpback whale hopelessly entangled in jetsam off the coast of Maui; officials beseech locals to be on the lookout!

Surfers are the best.

Surfers are turning out to be the most benevolent creatures on earth, this early 2022, saving potential drowning victims, saving cuddly kangaroos, generally saving the aforementioned earth itself and, now, a surfer has sparked an international movement so save the original thing that needed saving to begin with.

The whales.

For just off the coast of Maui, one of our kind was flying his drone high and capturing images of waves when he also captured the image of a sub-adult humpback caught in some sort of jetsam.*

Per the report, “The whale was spotted off Ukumehame on Maui heading toward Lahaina just before sunset on Sunday, Jan. 9, and ocean wildlife officials are asking the public to keep an eye out for it. ‘It is either a mouth entanglement or wrapped around the petro flippers trailing as two lines, light-colored, but maybe not floating lines. It’s staying below the surface just a little bit and going about, going back about 80 to 90 feet behind the animal. So, not a lot of gear and no buoy — so that’s going to be tough to see,’ explained Ed Lyman, of the Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary.

Whales.

Is there any person out there who does not love and care for whales?

Also, have you ever eaten whale in Japan?

Yucky.

It is fitting, anyhow, that a benevolent surfer may just save one with our help. If you see the magical creature, please call NOAA at 888-256-9840.

*Do you know the difference between jetsam and flotsam without searching it up? Let everyone know how smart you are in the comments.


Californian surf legend involved in “bizarre and tragic” episode after woman leaps from 300-foot cliff following hit-and-run accident!

CHP investigators said the woman either “fell or jumped.”

Ever try to kill a flea? Ain’t easy. Whack it with a phone book, flame it with a cigarette lighter, flick it with your finger, firehose it with DDT.

Don’t work.

That is also true for Darryl “Flea” Virostko, a big wave surfer from Santa Cruz who was determined to drown himself anywhere in the Pacific Ocean during the Roaring 90s.

Flea was part of the Santa Cruz “Vermin” crew – Skindog, Barney, Ratboy, Condor – who were Pied Pipered to Mavericks by Vince Collier, and who wanted to pay homage to surfers like Jeff Clark and Richard Schmidt who pioneered the place by charging hard at one of the most dangerous waves in the world.

The zeitgeist to Flea and his westside brethren was simple: “Go now, ask questions later.”

And that is what Flea did, from Mavericks to Waimea, launching himself into some of the biggest waves ridden at the time, but also some of the most horrendous wipeouts.

Virostko survived substance problems, enjoying meth and acid at some length although he was hardly Robinson Crusoe around Santa Cruz in that regard, and some pretty wild beatings in the Pacific Ocean to emerge butterfly like and become a daddy etc.

Now, according to Santa Cruz news outlets, on January 10 a lady rear-ended Flea on Highway One, and then she rocked over to the cliff, jumped in the ocean and drowned.

What?

According to Amy Larson on www.kron4.com:

SANTA CRUZ, Calif. (KRON) — A bizarre and tragic crash involving a former professional big wave surfer unfolded on Highway 1 north of Santa Cruz Monday.

A 40-year-old woman was driving a Honda Accord when she collided into a Toyota Tundra driven by surfer Darryl “Flea” Virostko, according to investigators.

The two-vehicle collision happened at 9 a.m. in the northbound lanes of Highway 1 near upper Swanton Road.

“After the collision, both vehicles pulled to the shoulder. The woman driving the Honda reportedly exited the vehicle, crossed the highway, and walked towards the cliff overlooking the ocean,” the California Highway Patrol wrote.

Witnesses saw the woman plummet down a 300-foot cliff. CHP investigators said the woman either “fell or jumped.”
The U.S. Coast Guard deployed a helicopter and water rescue team. The woman died before rescuers could lift her out of the water.

Virostko told KRON4 Monday evening that he is OK.

The CHP is investigating the collision. The Santa Cruz County Sheriff’s Office is investigating what happened immediately after the crash.

CHP officers said they classified the crash as a “hit-and-run” because the woman technically left the scene on foot before she went over the cliff.

A mystery wrapped in neoprene: Why did the woman rear-end Flea? How fast was she going? Why did the woman jump into the ocean?

Even more mysterious: Where along Highway One can someone pull a Kim Novak into the ocean?

The woman’s name was not released. The CHP said she lived in Santa Cruz.

Okay so it was near Upper Swanton Road. so that means the accident happened around Greyhound Rock, which means the woman walked a couple hundred feet across a field to the edge of the cliff… and jumped.

Real odd.

 


Big Wave Ben.
Big Wave Ben.

YouTube sensation Ben Gravy invited to surf Oregon’s premier big wave event Nelscott Reef Pro; legends Ben Wilkinson, Grant “Twiggy” Baker selected as alternates!

Buy low, sell high.

Oh. Here’s Ben Gravy. I was just now wondering where they YouTube sensation, most popular surfer in the world was as a tsunami steamed toward the west coast of these United States. Thinking about the hits he would receive from a soft topped tidal wave session but the New Jersey star has his hands more than full as it was just announced that he is an invitee to Oregon’s premier big wave event.

The Nelscott Reef Pro.

Nelscott Reef, which bubbles off Lincoln City in the Beaver State’s north, is a cold water monster. According to the website, “On the biggest days of the season, Nelscott Reef breaks about a mile offshore. The massive open ocean swells are generated during the winter months. Coming primarily from the northwest and westward direction, these storms produce wave heights in the 30′ – 50′ dance once they hit the outer reef with some occasional crazy swells maxing out in the 60′-70′ range.”

This years list of hellmen/women includes the likes of Jamie Sterling, Luca Padua and Justine Dupont.

And Ben Gravy.

Ben Wilkinson, Pat Shaughnessy and Grant “Twiggy” Baker are alternates.

What do you think the betting line is for Gravy to take the win?

Will he ride a soft top?

Buy low, sell high.