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Surfing great Kelly Slater commiserates with Leonardo DiCaprio after award-winning actor’s girlfriend allegedly shares details of worst date: “He made me watch every single Star Wars movie and ran around with a lightsaber pretending to fight bad guys!”

"I mean, what's a guy to do?"

11x surfing champion Kelly Slater is, by far, the most famous of our kind, except for maybe Laird Hamilton or Jonah Hill, and both knows and communicates with other such celebrities. He also just so happens to have dated many of the same women as award-winning actor Leonardo DiCaprio including, but not limited to, the Brazilian model Gisele Bündchen and Israeli model Bar Rafeli.

Very cool and Slater, being very cool, does not exhibit any sort of dog-like jealousy toward his stablemate but, rather, commiserates and encourages.

In an alleged recent interview, DiCaprio’s alleged ex-girlfriend Camila Morrone shared details of the “worst date of her life,” saying, “He rented out a whole cinema and made me watch every single Star Wars movie while he ran around with his lightsaber pretending to fight bad guys.”

Slater, quick on the trigger, wondered, “I mean, what’s a guy to do?”

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As it turns out, the quote has been disproven and Morrone and DiCaprio are still together but I’m certain the star is happy to know that the world’s greatest surfer is in his corner.

What a guy.

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Hot stuff

They weren’t thrilled when Vito exposed his lust for cock.
So they not Dems.

astro

Heh, yea he’s starting to throw it round now. Going good.
Whoa, obj with Td ! He is one dude I’d love to see get happy. He’s had a hard run of tough breaks so far.

Captain Wack

Ouch. Happily married with a toddler and pregnant wife but yeah you got me good. Enjoy the win

Hot stuff

Like the Sopranos mob?

J H

Yes…but you are still fucking her whereas politicians are fucking you.

astro

He falsified his Immigration declaration. Then blamed his agent.
He didn’t even show up to defend himself at his last hearing.
Cmon, man.
There’s 3 or 4 other pros that are at the Aus Open unvaxxed and yet able to play. He fucked up.
Not a Nazi in sight ! But yea some political chicanery by Ximo.
Anyways, Go Rams !

J H

Bearding is hard work.

What did she expect?

Gourmet Kook

💎 Top Fan

Captain Wack

I thought Leo was intelligent. He could have put on Romeo and Juliet and would have been banging her in the cinema half way through the movie… Benefit of hindsight etc

Hippy

It wont go away in your lifetime

astro

Listen, mate. I didn’t make the rules.
And those that don’t want to get jabbed don’t have to but it does mean jumping through some extra hoops.
But putting all vacc bullshit aside – if you or anyone don’t respect local laws and the locals then yea fuck off. Novac didn’t and got tossed.
As for the political theatre, I’m in total agreement with you there.
Ximo scoring easy populist votes, big time.

Chazz Michael Michaels

Better a lightsaber than a breadstick.

toaster redux

Breadstick is an acceptable substitute if accompanied by the right sounds

Urchin Sepsis

Kelly is just pissed his bone broth has been dethroned by ganja as the internets favorite “do your own research” Covid cure .

Otto

If I were an investor in Outer Known, I would find these unfocused activities most troubling. In fact, I may even lobby for a hostile takeover.

Barrelled

Except those investors don’t give shit about anything other than buying themselves into surfing. Same goes for all Kelly’s endeavors, bunch of billionaire investors who are buying access to the elite part of surfing. Its not about making money, its all about their own image.

J H

Buying access is probably the world’s second oldest profession.

But at least prostitutes intentionally fuck you.

Occ Topus

Leo DiCap: “Kelly who?”

Jimmy the Saint

What about Italo’s voting in the Stab awards:
Surfer of the Year: Italo
Film of the Year: Italo
Edit of the Year: Italo

Chazz Michael Michaels

Winner of Least Interesting Polls of the Year: Italo

astro

*This paid for promotion was brought to you by Billabong.

Pauly Matt War-Shore

I feel like Italo is the only person that could get way with this.

Dovakin

He forgot to vote for himself in the “worst style ever” category.

Jimmy the Saint

Or the most humble/modest surfer

Ricky Spanish

Revealed! World’s Greatest Surfer actually a kook! Kooky behavior VALidated on beaches around the globe with this shocking discovery. More as the story devolves…

Barrelled

“I mean, what’s a guy to do?”

We could start with writing articles worth reading.

Low wide stinkbug stance

The best way of quantifying Kelly’s fame is in that Motley Crue biograpy where Tommy Lee says “Pam was dating some surfer called kelly slater”

Savage burn!

Hippy

Remember Perry Farrel comparing mick fannings “stardom” to being a rock star (perry)?

astro

What’s a guy to do ?
Get a jab to go to Aus ?
Suck it up and be Ke11y ?
I mean … .?,!!???

Hot stuff

Imagine 2 years ago
That you’d be baiting people to shoot up some chemical minefield shit. So you could come to a shit hole like Aus or NZ, full of retards.
Good one.

astro

I know.
Yet here we are …
Anyways, Cody’s a flop.

Hot stuff

And people won’t want Kelly here
Not cause of any health risk, but cause they’re cunts

astro

Nah, it’s because he hasn’t been jabbed.
You’re trying to twist it all outta shape just like Novacs lawyers.
Play by the rules or fuck off. Not hard to understand.

Hot stuff

Jawohl Herr Kommandant

astro

That’s better.
As you were.

Hot stuff

👎

NEGATRON

To big here. One spot left to check at low tide at lunch but it’ll probably be windy by then.

Barrelled

You could always move back to the motherland POME.

Hot stuff

It’s always an option.

Chazz Michael Michaels

Give it a fucking rest.

Hot stuff

Exactly

J H

It’s. All. Political. And. Has. NOTHING. To. Do. With. Science.


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