"Would love to say that’s all folks…but sadly we are still here with no answer or hope for a future!"
World champion longboarder Joel Tudor is back on the offensive, this morning, in response to the World Surf League’s most oft employed defensive strategy. Silence. Ears plugged with Joe Turpel flavored cotton candy silence. And while that particular sound of silence may be enough to head off other annoying this and thats, it is not enough to derail surfing’s great polemicist.
The biggest geopolitical crisis of our time sparked to life a handful of weeks ago when it was rumored that the World Surf League was considering and/or made up its hive mind to cut the longboard world tour from three stops to one.
Tudor, enraged by the possibility and especially after the WSL had leaned so heavily into women’s longboarding during its Pro Pipeline event, took to the public square and asked, “Yo @wsl @jessmileydyer @elo_eriklogan can y’all explain this kind of equality?”
Well, the aforementioned @jessimileydyer, who happens to be World Surf League commissioner Jessi Miley-Dyer, went straight to her desk, pulled out dusty paper and pen and wrote a letter to professional longboarders, declaring that their champion, Joel Tudor, was being “unhelpful and misleading” in a gaslit pyre that would have made even the most adept abusers green with jealousy.
Tudor proceeded to march up to the World Surf League’s Wall of Positive Noise and pound his 95-theses upon it then…
…silence.
Until today.
Tudor is back with questions needing answering. Per his latest:
Yoooooooooo @wsl @elo_eriklogan @jessmileydyer a week away from March ..month 3 of the new year and still no plan for our existence within your organization! The reply letter we all received was laughable & insulting! Would love to say that’s all folks…but sadly we are still here with no answer or hope for a future! Beyond disrespectful and not very equality minded!
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How will the League respond?
The globe waits with bated breath.
Scrapping the longboard tour is an absolute must for the WSL. Everyone knows deep down, if they’re honest with themselves, that competitive longboarding is a joke. Competition only taints what longboarding has to offer surf culture. Joel Tudor should be fighting against the continuation of the longboard tour. Joel needs to be the Christ figure here and nail competitive longboarding, and all his World Titles to the cross, and save the soul of longboarding for eternity! Do the right thing Joel!
I take it Joel has never been ghosted?
Joel vs Kieran Gallagher bjj then surfing or vise versa. Let’s go!!!
Longboarder kook
Joel Tudor is the new great white shark.
Just as a point of fact, the ads featuring women surfing Waikiki in pretty bikinis during Pipe was Bong marketing not the WSL. Which had nothing to do with competitive surfing.
In the photo above, Joel appears to be humping his pillow. Is it a metaphor? Is he like a dog humping the WSL’s leg?
He’s clearly enjoying huffing that dude’s farts. But hey, you know, I’m not kink shaming.
He’s correct in supporting the women’s tour generally so I’m not going to go too hard on the guy.
Joel needs to start his own tour. How much could it cost, like a thousand bucks?
I imagine this is how lovers of the Model A felt in the 30’s!?
You don’t need the WSL Joel. Be your own man and go talk to duct tape again. If that doesn’t work maybe Scotch tape or Gorilla tape or 3M.
Maybe Joel can present this version of duct tape surfing, strap the women on their backs. Kill two birds, one stone. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Good idea and something he would be familiar with. That’s how he got his first ju jitsu submission.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Someone uploaded the entirety of last years longboard tour on YT, watch below and enjoy!
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Watching old people/young hipsters trying to look stylish while surfing knee high burgers is the dullest thing imaginable.
It lacks everything that is exciting about watching sports. It is astounding that there’s even a discussion about it. Just let it go, already.
Its like watching yoga. Now i dont mind yoga if the instructor os some foxy vietnamese girl i want to fuck, but otherwise it’s shit! Just like longboarding.
Putin is a Hodad and obviously way worse, they dont call Rusdia the evil empire for no good reason.
Chinks are worse.
Biden’s DOJ has Dr decided to discontinue the Trump era China Initiative, employed to specifically target Chinese spying.
The DOJ had accrued almost 60 cases involving Chinese spying, hacking, and lying about grant applications.
This insane decision comes shortly after FBI Director Christopher Wray declared that China was “more brazen, more damaging than ever before.”
Why would Biden’s administration stop hunting Chinese spies? The excuse they are giving is exactly what you would expect from the left: racism!
“Anything that creates the impression that the Department of Justice applies different standards based on race or ethnicity harms the department and our efforts, and it harms the public,” Matthew Olsen, assistant attorney general for national security, informed reporters. “I do believe that the China Initiative was driven by genuine national security concerns. But I’m also mindful that the department must maintain the trust of the people whom we serve.”
An unemployed History graduate said to me “There is no future in History”, and now poor Tudor is beginning to realize “There is no future in Longboarding”
“The darkness never goes from some men’s eyes.”
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
“no plan for our existence within your organization”
Hopefully Mr Magoo can see the irony in this statement. You don’t have a right to exist within their organization dipshit. You exist if you (in this case, longboarding) are making money for the organization. I’m guessing in this case, you’re not so you don’t.
Agree completely. But how does that jive with the wokey wozzle’s favourite word: inclusivity?
Wozzle’s inclusivity thing is complete bullshit. They are reaching for profitability at this point. That means bringing in whatever/whoever they need to in order to turn a profit. Showing longboarding, especially female longboarding, in advertisements increases viewers. Kicker is that NOBODY wants to watch competitive longboarding, that includes most longboarders.
Everyone’s inclusivity thing is bullshit. Basically there for three things:
1. We’re covering our asses so no-one can accuse us of being discriminatory
2. We can all feel warm and fuzzy about the great service we’re purportedly doing for the world. Image and all that.
3. We’ll latch on to anything and anyone if it brings us more money. Cast the net far and wide
have to draw the line somewhere. longboarding seems like a good place to start
I see your point but if so, why all the super slick advertisements of tan attractive ladies logging each commercial break?
Elo seems very happy to use longboarding to promote shortboarding, that’s plain weird??
Edit: read Preston post below “pretty bikinis during Pipe was Bong marketing not the WSL. Which had nothing to do with competitive surfing.” So as a Bong ad it was likely developed by a banker in NY who wouldn’t know the difference between a shortboard or longboard.
Carry on….Fuck off Tudor
$$
first Ukraine now this, I need a shandy
When did the WSL get their purple belt?
Where Joel’s argument goes:
Wsl / equality says girls shortboard = men’s SB.
Joel asserts girls LB >= girls SB.
Equality says men’s LB = girls LB.
Meaning men’s LB >= men’s SB.