"Would love to say that’s all folks…but sadly we are still here with no answer or hope for a future!"
World champion longboarder Joel Tudor is back on the offensive, this morning, in response to the World Surf League’s most oft employed defensive strategy. Silence. Ears plugged with Joe Turpel flavored cotton candy silence. And while that particular sound of silence may be enough to head off other annoying this and thats, it is not enough to derail surfing’s great polemicist.
The biggest geopolitical crisis of our time sparked to life a handful of weeks ago when it was rumored that the World Surf League was considering and/or made up its hive mind to cut the longboard world tour from three stops to one.
Tudor, enraged by the possibility and especially after the WSL had leaned so heavily into women’s longboarding during its Pro Pipeline event, took to the public square and asked, “Yo @wsl @jessmileydyer @elo_eriklogan can y’all explain this kind of equality?”
Well, the aforementioned @jessimileydyer, who happens to be World Surf League commissioner Jessi Miley-Dyer, went straight to her desk, pulled out dusty paper and pen and wrote a letter to professional longboarders, declaring that their champion, Joel Tudor, was being “unhelpful and misleading” in a gaslit pyre that would have made even the most adept abusers green with jealousy.
Tudor proceeded to march up to the World Surf League’s Wall of Positive Noise and pound his 95-theses upon it then…
Tudor is back with questions needing answering. Per his latest:
Yoooooooooo @wsl @elo_eriklogan @jessmileydyer a week away from March ..month 3 of the new year and still no plan for our existence within your organization! The reply letter we all received was laughable & insulting! Would love to say that’s all folks…but sadly we are still here with no answer or hope for a future! Beyond disrespectful and not very equality minded!
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How will the League respond?
The globe waits with bated breath.