Longboarding for the win!
The most exciting story in all of surfing, outside Kelly Slater’s vaccination status, is the World Surf League’s 2021 longboard champion Joel Tudor opening a guerrilla front against Santa Monica that has since blown into open warfare. The whole imbroglio swirled to life, days ago, as a rumor surfaced that the WSL was going to slash its Longboard World Tour from three events to one. Tudor took to Instagram to demand account, in light of the League leaning heavily on longboarding images, videos, on its social channels and especially during the just-wrapped, highly successful, Billabong Pro Pipeline.
The World Surf League, neither addressed the rumor of decimation nor underlying issues and instead released a letter from the desk of commissioner Jessi Miley-Dyer criticizing Tudor for being “inaccurate and misleading.”
Tudor published the ill-conceived missive, calling for “town hall meetings” amongst other things, and here we are.
Bombs bursting in air.
World Surf League taking heavy losses as its recent breast pounding regarding “equality” and “inclusivity” made to look purely performative.
But what does Joel Tudor actually wish for? I called to ask and he was kind enough to answer on his way through the smoke, ready to pound his 95-theses on the World Surf League’s Wall of Positive Noise.
You know, guys don’t have much leg to stand on but regards to the women it’s insulting that the WSL is trying to beat around the bush. They use women’s longboarding to promote everything. The surf brands too, every single major surf brand, has used women’s longboarding for years and years and years without paying them barely anything and now the ASP, sorry WSL, has an opportunity to do something but they’re going to cut the tour down to one event? You can’t make a champion out of one event. I might have stayed quiet but when I was watching Pipe, they kept running the same ad of women’s longboarding and it kicked back all these memories. You’ve got an ad calling for equality and togetherness? Nothing has changed. They use it but never support it and this is especially true with the women.
It was at this point I expected Tudor to go in for the kill. He has won the moral high ground and also has the business high ground. Women’s longboarding is the biggest growth sector in surfing, has been for a long time, and longboards, not softops but glass and resin longboards, make up the vast majority of surfboards sold. Plus, the longboard side of the draw is the only to ever feature two black surfers in a final. The terms of surrender very much up to him and so I asked, “What’s the dream?”
Three events is a good start. As a kid, when I first became a professional, longboarding was cool sideshow on the down days. Just tack us on to your existing events and save money. The infrastructure, hold window, judges everything is already there but they’ve never given us a chance. Are they scared we’re going to steal the show? Lowers, Bells, Hossegor… we used to be part of the tour but for for thirty-two years, thirty-two fucking years, they won’t let us have us but want to run this fake shit about equality and inclusiveness. Don’t be a bunch of fucking phonies.
Three events?
It sounds beyond reasonable.
Maybe even too reasonable.
World Surf League?
An easy doggy door. Just claim “rumor” of longboard world tour decimation are completely unfounded and kick it back to three events. Hell, actually don’t be a bunch of fucking phonies and kick it to five.
Longboarding at Bells instead. Lowers too.
Detente.
4’s is insane but it needs a massive swell.
Surfed it on an 8′ day in mid 80’s when Ala Moana Bowl was closing out. Magic. Leonard Drago ruling big time.
Emi Erikson is not one of worlds best longboarders. One of the best women at Waimea maybe.
Cool story. I remember back in 06 3’s was 4-5 and 4s was 6-8 and 2 of us surfed for 3 hours at 4s then 4 more at 3’s. I rated 3’s an 8 and 4’s a 9 but my friend put 3’s at a 9 too. Then we put the 6’1’s back in the truck and drove home on route 61, doing about 45 and listening to B52’s while sucking on a 40 of malt.
If longboarding has as much marketing potential as Joel is claiming, who does he not simply start his own longboard tour?
And if all of the longboarders are used in so much of the marketing, why is he complaining? That simply means more work and more pay for them.
Also, this is basically the generation who took up longboarding and retro boards as a rejection of corporate competition and everything the WSL represents. But now that they’ve realised they’re marketable to VALs, they’ve come crawling back with hands outstretched.
I stand corrected
I’m torn
Far ass paddle out das why
Honalua, not Honolulu
Stop whining and start your own Longboard tour. Who needs WSL? I still won’t watch.
Longboarding is beauty in motion…I could watch Kelia Moniz, Honolua Bloomfield, etc for 8 hours straight and never get bored. Joel couldn’t be more right…if you want to destroy surfing leave it up to the WSL. I mean the championship at Trestles for the Top 5 only? You’ve got to be kidding. Anti climactic? Yeah that’s a sure fire buzzkill
we all (w’all?) are full of shit, well at least one time everyday…
If this dickhead really wants equality then by all means take his log out in a shortboard comp like Dave Parmenter did against Dog Marsh that time.
Does this kook realise there’s a reason why they dont have the egg and spoon race in the olympics?
Gonna be interesting to see what the wozzle do here to muzzle his rantings.
Instead of wasting his time and last three remaining brain cells with extended ranting about inequality, perhaps Joel Tudor could do the actual hard work of bringing funding to the WSL for longboard events – then, no problem to have three contest and a Grand Final to determine the Men’s and Women’s world champions.
Competitive surfing events cost money – lots of money. Go out and find it, it is not easy.
Beginner boards.. beginner waves.
If any old pleb can move to Byron from Melbourne, take up long boarding and be nose riding in under 2 years how hard can it be. Let’s see a long boarding event at 8 – 10 chopes before we talk about surfing disciplines being equal.
I like getting barreled, drinking beer, and fucking. But hey, this brachgrit thing is kinda funny.
Joel’s argument is nonsense and that people buy more longboards than shortboards is irrelevant. People also buy more minivans than formula 1 cars but no one is buying tickets to watch soccer moms race Honda Odysseys. Actually maybe that does sound cool.
Longboarding comps are boring as shit and probably get 1/10 if not 1/100 the ratings as the ct. So who’s going to buy ads and so who’s paying for the additional longboard contests he wants to hold?
So you’re saying the scalper who sold me second-hand tickets to this weekend’s big SoccerMomVan500 might’ve been overvaluing their worth?
I was always looking for scraps, I noticed what you’re talking about and just went left, the haole military guy is not getting any set waves!
Threes such a beautiful wave, I think I got maybe one kind of decent one there, usually I just gave up and went left into the closeout, still very fun.
Longboards smogboards ff ..
What grinds my gears is those retired pros that go in amature single fin comps and try their very utmost to win , lol its like fuck really Joel or Taj cant you just let the wanna be’s have their little moment of glory.