"Still seventeen, he looked a lot older…A universe of adult concerns and expectations orbiting around him like space trash."
He could retire as world number one and our once and present King of Pipeline.
He could obtain any wildcard he wanted if he got the itch in the future.
Trestles is a Brazilian trampoline park at this point, so Kelly doesn’t have to prove anything there during kiddie hour at the end of the year.
But even if he presses on, and what a wonder that would still be, every time I watch him surf, and especially during his marvel at the Billabong Pro on I am reminded of this portrait I shot that was to accompany the first SURFER cover story I wrote about Kelly.
He was seventeen years old and just about to make the jump to professional hyperspace. But at the time he and his family were just getting by, sleeping on mattresses on the floor of a small rented house back by the canals of Cocoa Beach. Kelly and I shared one of those mattresses, which was cool with me because like him, I too grew up in a house full of brothers.
And so was created that most famous of opening lines in any feature written about Kelly, “He sleeps like an angel”.
Since then I have always felt like a distant Uncle of Kelly. And during my many years as a senior editor/writer/portrait photographer at SURFER, I always defended and protected Kelly in the media.
I still do.
The shit he caught for Baywatch always made me angry. Yeah, sure…you try it and then woo Pamela Anderson into being your girlfriend.
Anyway, I needed a portrait of Kelly to go with the feature and he wanted to go down to his local beach and climb all over a fishing trawler that had run aground. So we clambered up on top of the thing and talked for awhile about his upcoming eighteenth birthday and how serious adulthood was and of how much things were going to change for him. Still seventeen, he looked a lot older that afternoon. Haunted by the cascade of media and sponsor attention he was already getting. Having to change his family’s home phone number all the time because of the fan girls that were stalking him. Shit like that. A universe of adult concerns and expectations orbiting around him like space trash.
As the sun set over his home town he got real quiet and then said, “I guess I’m gonna have to figure out how to control some things”.
That is when I shot this photo and came up with the title I was going to use for the feature The Seduction of Kelly Slater.
Back at SURFER, there was a disconnect with the art director.
For the story, the art director ran some photo of a 16 year old Kelly smiling and joking around in the beach showers at Sebastian Inlet after a surf.
To me it was an accidental metaphor for how the surfing world misunderstood the pressure this kid was under. And in my opinion, the pressure he still is.
I believe that had they run my portrait, this portrait, everyone would have taken a deep breath, given the kid a break and from that point forward, raised Kelly in the media as less a messiah and more a human being.
If there’s one thing in the world he should be distancing himself from it’s that article.
The only worse one is that quote in the Australian surfing press (by sarge?) that america only has one kelly slater, Australia has dozens.
Was it Sam or his brother that penned that article back in the day about watching Kelly sleep the day before a trestles event? Strange
the best bit is how Matt George just keeps coming back for more abuse, and BG runs it cos they know the comments will light up
I appreciate a fifty year old just won the prime event of a promoted youth sport but I ponder?
What is the average combined age of the surf media reporting?
3 million BC?
Climate warming is rubbish, Dinos are still alive and gainfully employed at BG
Forgive us our sins
If I didn’t know better I’d guess that this article contains deliberate, barely concealed provocation!
Kelly and I shared a mattress when he was 17.
Nuff
Which was cool
Ooooh my jealousy hit a new peak there.
Xox
I don’t get this.
So it’s not your fault kelly is the most successful surfing athlete in history? Immensely rich and influential? Has had more tube time and punani than the sum of all the commentariat in their lifetimes?
Yeah that art director really fucked him up good.
How can I write an article about myself using Kelly as a lure?
Runs in the family.
Imagine how much the WSL would shit their pants if Kelly ends the year ranked number one, but then loses to a high-flying Brazilian at Trestles.
The perfect, fairy-tale ending. Ate age 50, 30 years after his first, he claims his 12th. A story the whole world would watch. Something that would be talked about for decades to come. Something that would resonate with and inspire office-bound middle-aged men across the globe. Every athlete in every sport pushing WSL content out on their feeds. Every talk show in the English-speaking world competing to get a WSL surfer on TV at prime time.
All wasted because the conditions on a single day favoured the years-end 4th-ranked surfer in the world, who went on a a tear in in head-high conditions.
Imagine the ways they’ll try to rewrite their own narrative retrospectively: “We’ve decided to revert to the tour rankings to decide this years world champion, and rename the WSL Finals as the “Champion of Champions Invitational”, a one-off exhibition event that will not dictate the 2022 world champion.
Fuck, I’m hoping this happens. I’m now officially cheering for Kelly all year.
Good call, Chad. But I think you’re underestimating the judges.
Exactly, they will just push him through and re-write the scores to fit their narrative. For the first time it would actually be the right thing to do, as exciting as finals day is to watch its a bullshit system that DOES NOT reward the best surfer of the year.
Ooooh yes
“We’re incredibly supportive of the return to Lower Trestles for the 2022 Rip Curl WSL Finals,” said Brooke Farris, Rip Curl CEO. “As a world-class, high-performance wave, it’s the perfect canvas for the world’s best surfers to push the boundaries of what’s possible in the water.“
https://www.worldsurfleague…
Should have had it at Cloudbreak. #12 guaranteed
Ben Marcus and Matt George walk in to a bar. The bartender quits on the spot cause it’s all self-serve from there on out
😂
genius comment.
Brilliant
Ben has been on an email tear the last few days – and I do mean both tear and tear.
As well as the direct and incredibly repetitive hate mail, he’s BCCing me into most of the mail he sends around the various surf industry contacts who wish they’d changed their email addresses by now. Some of the mail is about me, explaining to them how shit I am and how shit BG is, and then the very next mail might be a pitch of some utter shite to Derek, virtually begging to be published. I’m not sure if it’s funny or frightening.
The most amusing emails are the ones to Kelly. He always addresses him as “Champ” and then slathers him with sycophantic, vaguely sexual and deeply embarrassing praise. It’s quite disgusting.
Kelly never replies, of course. I know this because Ben would have forwarded the mail if he had. By my count he’s had two replies in all the many hundreds of emails he sends a day. I’m not sure who they were from, someone once vaguely connected with the surf industry I presume, and no doubt someone I’m completely ignorant for not knowing (in Ben’s eyes, obviously), but he was very chuffed with himself when he forwarded them to me gloatingly.
Anyway, a note to any surf industry employees, media luminaries or former pros: whilst I’m sure you recognise Ben’s madness, please also recognise that he BCCs random people into all his emails and in doing so shares your contact details. And, if for some odd reason you were ever compelled to engage, please do so in the knowledge that he’ll share that, too.
Thanks for the entertainment, Ben. And the address book. Not that I’d ever be enough of a cunt to abuse it like you do.
Let me know if you want me to BCC you into some policy and procedure review emails I’ll be shooting off tomorrow at the kids cricket game. Can’t guarantee there won’t be tears.
He needs help, ffs, before he necks himself!
Could you put together a best of the best Ben Marcus email snippets collection? I need a good laugh!
I would if I wasn’t absolutely certain that’s exactly what he wants.
Don’t use his real name. Write it in a way that makes him look absolutely foolish and an embarrassment. You can do it. At the very least, it could be no less than highly entertaining. At best, it could make his lackwit pinhead explode.
Years ago i was ccd all the pros email addresses in some petition that was going around. I will have to see if ben was ccd too. Maybe he sent it!
He roped me into replying the other day, which I regretfully did.
Highlight was “I BCC Kelly and a lot of people on those emails and they love them and still invite me to parties”
I don’t think it’s funny or frightening. It’s just sad and any other response aside from empathy is just plucking the lowest of low hanging fruit in his case. It’s all too easy to pile on people like B___ and S__. I read S__’s last bit above and could only hope that he was just taking the piss out of us. I find it almost impossible to believe that anyone could say something like that and actually mean it. If he truly does, he is nothing more than a ridiculously self involved caricature of a human being, as nobody with any shred of self awareness and/or humility could ever say something like that with a straight face. And B__ clearly has issues. Banging on about him is the equivalent of ridiculing the kid in middle school who wears the same raggedy clothes to school every day and eats his boogers for all to see. Let him be and let him comment here freely. He clearly needs the forum and if any of us are offended by his “mongol race” shot than we weren’t heckled enough as kids by the older guys in the lineup. I may be Ain the minority here but I feel empathy for him and not to psychoanalyze and be anti anti depressive but I sense a real loneliness in B__ (you spot it, you got it as the saying goes and I know a thing or three about loneliness) and an obvious need for attention and validation. So just like the booger eating (no offense B__) kid o feel
I don’t know who S is or what comment you’re referring to?
As for Ben, I clearly have some empathy for him, otherwise I would reply to his emails and would have hung him out to dry long before now. I know he’s not right.
But you have no idea of the number of emails he sends me with direct, personal attacks. I’ve done fuck all to Ben, mate. He’s jealous that I get to write and he doesn’t because he sees himself as far more qualified and above me and everyone else. And you know what? He is more experienced. As I said to him, if I’d had half the exposure to the surf industry and opportunities that he’s had, I’d not only have carved out a nice career for myself but I’m confident I’d have produced some work to be really proud of. But the fact remains that he’s just not very good at writing.
So for the most part I do let him be, but if he wants to keep pushing me you can’t expect me not to push back. His insults don’t bother me because they’re juvenile, repetitive and not clever, but they do get annoying. He makes assumptions about me that are bullshit then emails them round his industry contacts, and I don’t think I should have to put up with that.
As for commenting here, he straight up fucking ruins the place. Nevermind the outrageously narrow minded, elitist and racist shite he posts, the volume of pish just floods everyone else.
If Ben Marcus is writing and/or commenting here in his inimitable style, there’s a strong chance I won’t be.
BG deserves better than him and can’t function effectively with him here.
S__ was referring to Sam but I should’ve wrote M__ as I see it was Matt who wrote the article and not Sam. I was just imitating Ben’s humorously annoying habit of initials and lines to keep us guessing in his sycophancy as to all the famous people he apparently knows. Also the comment I was referring to was the last line in Matt’s article which is either him just completely taking the piss in an attempt to rack up the comments or it’s the most ridiculously self important statement I’ve ever read. I hope for his sake it’s the former. And yeah fair points all. I’d be over it too if I were you I’m sure.
Ben won’t be commenting here again. I recognised his needs and also his talents, opened the door to get him some work here and had his back generally but he just regresses into pettiness and trying to “win”.
I’d always hoped he would get past that and find his place here,
But he’s become a cancer both in the comments and in the back end via email.
Eventually one needs to recognise and work on their own mental health instead of negatively impacting others.
Feel free to contact him if you want to reach out. [email protected]
Matt says to Ben – Now that I’m done talking about myself why don’t you tell me what you think of me?
Enough about me! What do you think about me? 😂🤣
Let me guess, Georgie…
Like he said once… he was sockless at this time?…
Do you warmed his cold little feets, Georgie?…
It is a great photo.
Fuck, you give yourself quite a bit of credit don’t you?
It’s understandable. No other cunt will.
i thought it was short and meaningful. but i’m not on here enough to spit handshake.
That’s off the charts level narcissism. Jebus!!
I had a similar moment on my surflit piece about the guy fucking his own surfboard, when Derek ran a screenshot from Step Brothers as the feature pic even though I specifically requested a screenshot from The Goonies. Entire generations of surf culture were forever altered due to this one moment. Oh the power we as writers weld, my brother. We Are Gods!
I mean, we are in Gods Hands!
Can you hurry up and get to the joke, Ads ?
I believe it’s just there above the comment section
Reads like a desperate mash up of Ashton and B____ M_____.
I Me I Me I Me I Me I Me I Me I Me I Me I Me I Me I Me I Me I Me …..
serious.
bit of punctuation and you got yourself a gig. when can you start?
Whoa ego