Aerial surfing influencer dies suddenly, aged 47, “He was way ahead of his time and took a lot of shit from media and surf fans who liked ‘normal’ surfing!”

"He traded rock cocaine in for meth and went to jail many times. He learned to tattoo and tattooed his own face while looking in a mirror."

The San Clemente surfer Joe Crimo, whose skate tech on waves was roughly twenty-five years ahead of the curve, has died suddenly, aged forty seven.

“I was a huge fan and heavily influenced by Joe Crimo,” says the surfing commentator Chris Cote. “Joe was an early innovator of skate style tricks like pop shuvits and varials. He was way ahead of his time and took a lot of shit from mainstream surf media and surf fans who just liked “normal” surfing… Joe’s talents and helping him enlighten the world with his raw, wild styled attack and skate influenced surfing.”

Matt Biolos, his shaper for a time, describes Crimo as, “Soft spoken. Exceedingly polite. Saccharine Sweet. Girls liked him. Had a really good face, actually…attached to a diminutive almost frail, body… Obviously dexterous and skilled with his feet. More nimble emancipated street skater than a true surfer. Made him a lot of boards to assist his approach, but never anything really skateboard style or double ended.”

His surfing wasn’t pretty but it was rad as hell.

Crimo was a wildcat, of course, ain’t no doubt about that.

Back in 2015, Crimo tried to raise money for laser tattoo removal after covering his entire face with ink while high on meth.

“Tattoos on the face are not the best way to get a job,” he wrote.

As Chas Smith wrote at the time,

On land he lived fast and his fast living started very much earlier than yours or mine. He grew up in East Los Angeles and his brothers were in gangs and going to jail. “I started smoking lots of rock cocaine at age nine. It’s just what we did,” he says.

He got shot, at some point, and moved to the San Clemente, starting surfing and cleaned up. But the wheels fell off, eventually, and he traded rock cocaine in for meth and went to jail many times. He learned to tattoo, during the dark years, and tattooed his own face while looking in a mirror or sometimes not. “Sometimes I just did guess shots,” he says.

Earlier today, Biolos told me, “I have no idea what happened to him or what his life was like the last couple of years. But he was a friend for an important time in all our lives. He made a mark.”

Hit here if you want to send a little cash, help his little kid Jacob out.

Explosive new rumor hints that longboard champion Joel Tudor has potential legal case available to him after being unprecedentedly suspended by World Surf League following “social media-based attacks on tour leadership!”

Hot hot heat.

In a wild swirl of hot hot action exploding to life earlier last month and seemingly culminating in unprecedented fashion last week, Joel Tudor versus the World Surf League has burst back onto the scene. You will certainly recall the rumor suggesting that Santa Monica was considering chopping the Longboard World Tour from three events to one. Tudor, an elder statesman and current champion, became vocal and challenged the League to actually practice equality.

Senior Vice President of Tours and Somesuch Jessi Miley-Dyer responded with a masterpiece of gaslighting, Tudor published it, on his social media, then published more before being indefinitely suspended.

The first sitting champion to ever be cancelled in sporting history.

Well, an explosive new rumor has whispered that Tudor may have a legal option against the World Surf League as the purported reason for his beheading does not, necessarily, line up with the facts. A well-placed source has declared, “I think he may have a case here.”

Though there is no indication that he is pursuing anything at this time, Tudor’s Instagram has been scrubbed of offending posts.

How much embarrassment would it be for the League to have to admit fault in the way it handled the whole brouhaha?

That it, as a corporation, got its “feelings” hurt and acted emotionally weird?

David Lee Scales and I discussed on this week’s podcast and also discussed the importance of keeping a relationship sexy.


Photo courtesy @gothic_dolphins.
Photo courtesy @gothic_dolphins.

Universally adored actor-surfer Jonah Hill unloading New York loft for $11 million sliding one step closer to full “kama’aina discount status” ahead of reported move to Hawai’i!

Welcome to paradise...

First came the Hawaiian vacation and Instagram caption, quickly removed, heavily suggesting that universally adored actor-surfer Jonah Hill and his girlfriend-not-fiancée, Sarah Brady, would soon be moving, permanently, to the islands. Then came the sale of Hill’s “windowless monolith” located in the famed Malibu Colony, a slice of real estate that instantly made the Academy Award darling heir to Miki Dora’s throne. Now, news has just broken that the Wolf of Wall Street star is unloading his $11 million New York loft in further preparation for that sweet kama’aina discount life.

Per The New York Post:

Jonah Hill is the latest in a fleet of celebrities to say goodbye to New York City.

The actor, 38, has put his Manhattan loft up for sale for almost $11 million — $1.83 million more than he paid for it in 2015, The Post can report.

Initially buying the Noho neighborhood pad to upgrade from his previous 2,000-square-foot loft in Soho, the four-bedroom, four-bathroom 3,280-square-foot residence hit the market last week.

The official move to sell the Big Apple pad comes after the “Don’t Look Up” actor has been spending most of his days in the Hawaiian Island of Kauai with girlfriend, Sarah Brady. The two have been linked since August.

The loft is located in a pre-war building and features three bedrooms, exposed brick barrel vaulted ceilings and “the most advanced smart home technology.”

Very cool but cooler still is the discount Hill and Brady will be receiving at Hawaii’s many Foodland locations seeing they will, officially, be kama’aina or “residents.” But can I be honest with you? Confess a great sin that I have been carrying for many years? During my various weeks long stays on Oahu, working on Welcome to Paradise, Now Go to Hell, Who is JOB (the film) etc. I regularly used Jamie O’Brien’s “kama’aina card” at Foodland even though I had no intention of a permanent move.


I’m assuming now that I’ve admitted, the State of Hawaii will seek to prosecute me to the fullest extent of the law but I will accept my punishment with a bowed head for I deserve the wrath.

I’m sorry.

Kelly Slater, far left, with Morrison's pal Mick Fanning, early 2000's. | Photo: ASP/Kirstin

Australian pro surfing great levels historic charge against Kelly Slater; says the 11-time world champ drove wedge between he and “surrogate father” Rabbit Bartholomew!

“The gnarly thing is, you never really moved on, you never got a coach. It was hard!”

The former #9 surfer, Pipe Master runner-up and veteran of a decade on the world tour has levelled an extraordinary historic charge against the world’s greatest athlete, Kelly Slater. 

On the insanely popular surf podcast Ain’t that Swell, run by the two best broadcast journalists in the game, Vaughan Blakey and Jedaum Smith, we find Dean Morrison, the third prong in the Coolangatta trident alongside Joel Parkinson and Mick Fanning although its least successful competitively ‘cause he wasn’t into raking his teeth across the erected cherry nipples of ASP judges, describing the day a wedge was driven between he and “mentor, coach, and surrogate father” Wayne “Rabbit” Bartholomew. 

In 1995, fifteen-year-old Morrison had fled the family home in Tweed Heads following a messy divorce and moved in with Bugs at his beachfront joint at Kirra.

“Rab was there to guide me from an early age,” Morrison tells ATS. “That wisdom that I learned from then prepared me onto the Championship Tour. Having someone like that guide me was invaluable.”

In 2002, Morrison qualified for the tour.

Bugs, meanwhile, had manoeuvred his way into the top job of the ASP, the forerunner to today’s WSL.

As Morrison describes it, following a heat against Peterson Rosa in the opening event at Snapper Rocks, “Kelly seen me and Rab having a conversation and he goes, ‘This is not fucking on! You cannot do this!’”

The implication being, the head of the ASP shouldn’t be tender-hearted on one of the competitors.

Kelly, then a six-time world champ, had a point of course and Morrison knew it.

“It separated us (but) you can’t run the tour and coach someone.”

Rabbit says, “That very first event, you were against Peterson Rosa, Kelly came up, said, ‘You reckon that was a seven! I’m watching you!’”

Rabbit remembers thinking, “Wow! This is gnarly!”

At one point, Rabbit looks over at his little pal and says, “The gnarly thing is, you never really moved on, you never got a coach. It was hard!”

Listen here.


Headed to slide your hill.
Headed to slide your hill.

After champion surfer Joel Parkinson and TikTokers “Kerfuffle on Kirra,” Florida slams heavy curfew on its most famous surfing beach ahead of Spring Break in order to circumvent “unnatural behavior amongst vile drunken semi-adults!”


The “Kerfuffle on Kirra,” as it has come to be called, has begun reverberating around the world, altering laws and impacting freedoms. But who could blame various local governments for attempting to circumvent what recently took place in Coolangatta there on Australia’s Gold Coast. While zero fluffing of memory should be necessary, last week-ish a gaggle of semi-adult TikTokers took to a grassy hill there in the middle of the aforementioned Coolangatta and began sliding down a mud track in its center. Champion surfer Joel Parkinson then showed up, as if he had seen a symbol in the sky, and told them to stop. They did not, there was a “bust up” and the whole scene became public, as semi-adult TikTokers gotta semi-adult TikTok.

Well, news broke, thereafter, that Parkinson, himself, had created the mud track, having slid there first with his children and friends days before the semi-adults and Australia became torn in half with some siding with hypocrisy and others siding against prepubescents manifesting in twenty-five-year-olds.

Florida’s New Smyrna Beach, not that different from Australia’s Gold Coast, took careful note of the carnage and has decided to try and head off by throwing a heavy curfew on the state’s most popular surfing stretch ahead of Spring Break.

According to local news:

New Smyrna Beach City Commission voted Wednesday night to set a 60-day curfew for kids after receiving numerous complaints from residents about the “spring break invasion.”

According to city officials, the curfew is in effect east of Riverside Drive from 11 p.m. to 5 a.m. Sunday to Thursday and 11 p.m. to 6 a.m. on Friday, Saturday and legal holidays. It only applies to the aforementioned groups.

Residents told the commission “spring breakers” have been running the streets rampant and agitating business owners, like PJ Warner.

Warner said Monday night he was harassed by kids in front of his convenience store on Flagler Avenue.

“The first guy blew pot smoke in my face, the second guy spit in my face, the third guy threw whisky in my face,” Warner said.

Flagler Avenue business owners also brought a long list of complaints to city leaders to Wednesday’s meeting.

While none of the complaints included “mud sliding” it was clearly weighing heavily on hearts and minds of city council members, as it should have been.

America cannot handle another civil war and Florida lost the first time around.