"We need to find kids who already have the skills, the balance, the athleticism."
Oh you know how much I love the snow, letting me bore you with my icy adventures semi-regularly, but I have never once considered that sliding down a mountain improves one’s surfing ability. Snow (boarding specifically) and surf share a wonderful extreme DNA but curling, freestyle skiing, bobsled don’t really seem to offer much to each other, in terms of performance, but, once again, it appears as if I am wrong.
Days ago, the Kingdom of Great Britain appointed the chief executive of GB Snowsport’s Vicky Gosling as new chairwoman of GB Surfing.
Britain, coming off a Winter Olympics with a surprising 0, as in zero, medals, is seeking to become an international surfing powerhouse with the ultra-adorable extreme sport prodigy Sky Brown set to make the team.
Gosling will not step down as CEO of Snowport and sees beautiful synergistic possibilities just over the horizon, boldly declaring, “If you ask anybody what I always bang on about, it’s precisely that. How do we do talent ID better? We need to find kids who already have the skills, the balance, the athleticism. We’re looking at gymnastics, we’re looking at skateboarding, at cycling for endurance and cross-country, we’re looking at rowing. I would like to be in a position where you give them a period of 12-18 months where they’re training together, you don’t need to specialise yet – a bit like doing your GCSEs I guess. Build on skills like agility, athleticism – and then let’s see which sport suits you best, or where do we think your skills suit the best. Particularly if you cluster them – so freestyle, or endurance, or speed. Everyone would then be a really strong place to bring them through.”
Sounds very Chinese.
But which other sporting skills, specifically snow skills, could make world-class surfers?
Biathlon?
Oh man. I wish professional surfing was actually like biathlon.
Which of our surfers would be the best shot? What would they shoot at?
Intriguing.
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Most lineups in Great Britain are so packed it’s basically shoulder to shoulder floating room only, but even with all that participation everyone is still crap at surfing. Sorry but as a fellow Brit this is a joke. Can we just focus on sweeping the floor really quickly while shouting please.
Oh shit!
Cue pissing millions up the wall on a hundred more fucking wave pools in Britain under the guise of “sport development”. I guess they figure it worked for James Woods at the Sheffield Dumpsite Dryslope in Skiing so it’ll work for some cockney wanker in London with delusions he’s Rick Kane.
Before long the van life hipster twats with their WWII waxed moustaches (well the women anyway) will be supping the fantastic quiet waves on offer in tropical Bournemouth. It’ll ruin the decades we’ve spent convincing the world that our surf is shit, not the shit, just plain shit.
Stick to darts and beer Vicky, that’s where our best young talents are found.
Pretty sure for most of the clientele on here.. it were all about the talent id. when we’re young
Excited to see GB’s surfer do a switch stance alleyoop backside rodeo inside the barrel at Teahupo.
Zero medals?? Dude there were curling medals all day long.
Curling one out?
Of course Caio beat Kelly, but the real shame was they picked the worst surf to hold the quarters.
TY. Will be coming back for more bollocking of Strider. Him and the pom in the booth was a like a recording of a bad tinder date
David Beckham? Keegan Brown? Rhona Martin? Josh Shepherd? Champions, all.
Fuck off ya dopey moll…
Athleticism? Balance? Show the brits a bit of coast and it’s lager by 10am and sunburn by 11.
Brittania will once again rule the waves!! Small break after 89 World title
A bit like you, bexy.
Some time-out, before returning.
It’s a double hatrick now
Surely there’s a badge for that
Heehaw,
You’ve been in the poo before. That won’t be the last ….
Still gobbling hoss med ?
It’s a proven method.
Welcome back Bexy.
I appreciate that old chum.
I feel like I’ve read this comment somewhere else…Get him Negs!!!!!
Very shabby treatment wasn’t it Dikmatic.
Not cool. What isn’t plagiarism these days?
All is forgiven cause that’s the kinda guy I am.
Very bummed about ol mate Shane.
Lip quivering stuff.
Very sad. He was a joy maker.
Thoughts and prayers.
One Ring to Rule them all, one ring to find them.
One Ring to Bring them all and in the Darkness bind them.
Doomed.
They could dust off Carwyn Williams?
Thats a deep cut right there