Surfers ride wave of conflicting emotions
as new study reveals illegally butchered sharks are secretly being
used to feed their beloved dogs and cats!
By Chas Smith
The new Soylent Green.
The surf world awoke this morning to shock,
dismay and confusion as a devastating new study revealed that, for
years, they have been feeding a sometimes aquatic enemy to greatly
cherished loved ones.
Ben Wainwright and Ian French, of Yale-NUS College, Singapore,
respectively, have been examining the ingredients of pet food and
have concluded that products labeled as containing “white fish” or
sometimes “salmon” contain the flesh of shark instead.
Of the 144 samples sequenced, per the study, 45, or roughly a
third, contained shark DNA. The Guardian
reports, “The most frequently identified species were blue shark,
silky shark and whitetip reef shark. The silky shark and the
whitetip reef shark are listed as ‘vulnerable’ in the International
Union for Conservation of Nature (IUCN) Red List. Products
containing DNA of the sicklefin weasel shark, the Caribbean
sharpnose shark and the sand tiger shark – all vulnerable species –
were also identified.”
Wainright and French, perturbed, declared, “The majority of pet
owners are likely lovers of nature, and we think most would be
alarmed to discover that they could be unknowingly contributing to
the overfishing of shark populations.”
It is possible that the meat is being sheared from the carcasses
of sharks that have been illegally caught and finned or, more
worrisome, that it is a reflection of a growing shark fishing
trade.
Surfers, anyhow, decidedly conflicted. One one hand, sharks have
been known to eat surfers. On the other hand, they contribute to a
healthy marine balance. How will the tables turn once surfers feed
sharks to dogs and cats?
Do any surfers have cats?
More as the story develops.
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Open thread: Comment live, day three, as
Kelly Slater attempts to continue run to miracle 12th world title,
aged 50, at MEO Pro Portugal!
By Derek Rielly
What else is there to do but drink?
Again, many stones to turn over today and comment up as
Kelly Slater attempts to continue run to miracle twelfth world
title, aged fifty, (but he must beat Caio Ibelli!), John
John Florence to reassert his previously held role as best surfer
in the world and for brave lil Baz Mamiya to keep his yella jersey
as world #1.
Upcoming MEO Pro Portugal Presented by Rip Curl Men’s
Round of 32 Matchups:
HEAT 1: Italo Ferreira (BRA) vs. Imaikalani deVault (HAW)
HEAT 2: Miguel Pupo (BRA) vs. Samuel Pupo (BRA)
HEAT 3: Jordy Smith (ZAF) vs. Barron Mamiya (HAW)
HEAT 4: Morgan Cibilic (AUS) vs. Connor O’Leary (AUS)
HEAT 5: Filipe Toledo (BRA) vs. Owen Wright (AUS)
HEAT 6: Leonardo Fioravanti (ITA) vs. Jake Marshall (USA)
HEAT 7: Conner Coffin (USA) vs. Joao Chianca (BRA)
HEAT 8: Jack Robinson (AUS) vs. Callum Robson (AUS)
HEAT 9: Kanoa Igarashi (JPN) vs. Justin Becret (FRA)
HEAT 10: Ezekiel Lau (HAW) vs. Frederico Morais (PRT)
HEAT 11: Ethan Ewing (AUS) vs. Nat Young (USA)
HEAT 12: John John Florence (HAW) vs. Ryan Callinan (AUS)
HEAT 13: Seth Moniz (HAW) vs. Jackson Baker (AUS)
HEAT 14: Kolohe Andino (USA) vs. Lucca Mesinas (PER)
HEAT 15: Griffin Colapinto (USA) vs. Jadson Andre (BRA)
HEAT 16: Kelly Slater (USA) vs. Caio Ibelli (BRA)
Upcoming MEO Pro Portugal Presented by Rip Curl Women’s
Round of 16 Matchups:
Heat 1: Johanne Defay (FRA) vs. Molly Picklum (AUS)
Heat 2: Sally Fitzgibbons (AUS) vs. Stephanie Gilmore (AUS)
Heat 3: Brisa Hennessy (CRI) vs. Courtney Conlogue (USA)
Heat 4: Lakey Peterson (USA) vs. Isabella Nichols (AUS)
Heat 5: Carissa Moore (HAW) vs. Bronte Macaulay (AUS)
Heat 6: Tyler Wright (AUS) vs. Gabriela Bryan (HAW)
Heat 7: Tatiana Weston-Webb (BRA) vs. Luana Silva (HAW)
Heat 8: Malia Manuel (HAW) vs. India Robinson (AUS)
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Portuguese wildcard joins Filipe Toledo in the
zero-point heat total club!
Shock at MEO Pro Portugal as local wildcard
fails to paddle for one wave in 40 minutes, “What sort of
comparison could there be in other sports? A sprinter motionless on
the blocks as everyone else crosses the finish line?”
By JP Currie
And Kelly Slater survives sudden-death elimination
heat!
On a scale of one to
how-shit-is-windy-beachbreak, what was your enjoyment
factor today?
It was a patchy kind of day. Scores and waves were hard to come
by.
There was certainly swell in the water, but maybe a bit too much
north in it and hence too much refraction.
Low tides to start the day didn’t help.
Statistical evidence of the wonky, slow start is bleakly
provided by the fact that no surfer managed a double figure heat
total for the first three heats of the day.
Let me clarify that: nine professional surfers competed across
three heats and not one of them could manage a cumulative heat
total of ten.
In fact, reader, allow me to espouse that further…
Today in its entirety there were 36 heat scores recorded, yet
only 12 of those were in double figures.
Poorest heat totals of any event ever? That’s a deep stat I’d
like to know.
In this context the performance of wildcard Afonso Antunes seems
a little less…something. Just a little. I’m not even sure what to
think of a professional surfer who doesn’t even paddle for a wave
in a heat that lasted forty minutes due to a restart.
Think about that.
What sort of comparison could there be in other sports? A
sprinter motionless on the blocks as everyone else crosses the
finish line? A golfer, poised at the tee with driver in hand but
never beginning the backswing?
“He really just needs to take off on something,” Shannon kept
insisting from the booth, willing him on out of sheer
embarrassment.
But he didn’t.
It was less rabbit in the headlights, and more corpse with rigor
mortis.
The waves weren’t great, but the scoring did seem suppressed.
Castrated, even.
I wondered if the judges were keeping their powder dry,
expecting it to pump later in the day.
I remain confused about whether scores are scaled on a heat by
heat basis or over the whole day? Early scoring would suggest the
latter, but this seems far from consistent and even fluctuates
within events.
Wakey, wakey, Richie…
We need an explanation.
As the competition went on hold I went back to the day job and
lectured on the value of art. It was an introduction to a poem in
which the speaker wrestles with his vocation and purpose.
What’s the point of art or creativity? I asked the assembled
16/17 year olds. Why might someone feel compelled to make art? Does
it have any value?
And what is art…writing, film-making, graffiti, music, dance,
sculpting..?
Is surfing art? I asked them, in a collision of ideas and
vocations.
Some faces in the classroom showed glimpses of realisation and
spark, and yet more were simply befuddled, wondering why the man in
front of them was so animated about a fucking poem, and what on
earth it had to do with surfing.
There wasn’t much art on show today in Peniche and few
realisations, but perhaps one or two surfers questioning their
vocation.
Lots of them were repping female tennis players. Of all the
inspirational women in the world I was generally uninspired by
these choices. John Florence and Ethan Ewing get a tick in my book
for repping their mums. What more inspiring woman than your very
own mother, or that of your children?
The ghost of Bobby Martinez was present and prescient today as
the pundits discussed surfing’s tennis connections.
Parallels were mentioned, an individual sport, the bracket
system, equal pay…
I noted another connection – the equality of inequality. So far
this year the women do not get treated equally when it comes to
wave quality, just as in tennis they play fewer sets than the
men.
Why do the WSL hide from the fact that women don’t or can’t surf
the same waves as men?
Should we acknowledge it?
Would it be regressive to point out the deficiencies rather than
pretend they don’t exist?
I’m not looking to shame anyone here, but hiding from the truth
seems like going backwards to go forwards.
Or is it? I’m honestly not sure.
I enjoyed Griffin Colapinto’s esoteric and labyrinthine
explanation in justifying why he had Bethany Hamilton’s name on the
back of his shirt.
“She, like, got her arm bit off by a shark…”
Caio Ibelli is on such a heater this year he thinks he’s an
angel. Dressed in a white wetsuit like a messenger of god, he did a
praying claim on a kick out after a head dip. I could be mistaken,
but if the lord has bestowed power on a journeyman pro surfer, I
can’t imagine his tolerance will stretch to claiming mid-twos.
I hope Slater looked at him with some derision today for
stealing his circa 2003 style. Slater wore that suit mainly to fuck
with Andy, of course, who hated it. Which is surely a better excuse
than Caio has.
Kelly did some Kelly things as the day wound down, winning his
elimination round heat with aplomb. As much as I rag on Slater,
he’s as necessary to this competition as he is to this tour as he
is to me.
The game is objectively poorer without him. I’m glad he’s still
in the mix and I hope the weather for the next few rounds does
everyone justice.
Does anyone understand the re-seeding for the round of 32, by
the way?
How does Barron draw Jordy but Morgan Ciblic surfs against
Connor O’Leary?
Kelly gets Caio, yet we’ve got Leo Fioravanti vs Jake
Marshall?
It makes no sense.
All in all, not the most glorious day of pro surfing ever. I’d
have to say teaching poetry this morning was far more
stimulating.
The conclusions of the poem in question are ambiguous, as they
so often are.
Yet it suggests that art is valuable even if it is appreciated
by just one person.
Was it you who appreciated the art of pro surfing today?
Upcoming MEO Pro Portugal Presented by Rip Curl Men’s
Round of 32 Matchups:
HEAT 1: Italo Ferreira (BRA) vs. Imaikalani deVault (HAW)
HEAT 2: Miguel Pupo (BRA) vs. Samuel Pupo (BRA)
HEAT 3: Jordy Smith (ZAF) vs. Barron Mamiya (HAW)
HEAT 4: Morgan Cibilic (AUS) vs. Connor O’Leary (AUS)
HEAT 5: Filipe Toledo (BRA) vs. Owen Wright (AUS)
HEAT 6: Leonardo Fioravanti (ITA) vs. Jake Marshall (USA)
HEAT 7: Conner Coffin (USA) vs. Joao Chianca (BRA)
HEAT 8: Jack Robinson (AUS) vs. Callum Robson (AUS)
HEAT 9: Kanoa Igarashi (JPN) vs. Justin Becret (FRA)
HEAT 10: Ezekiel Lau (HAW) vs. Frederico Morais (PRT)
HEAT 11: Ethan Ewing (AUS) vs. Nat Young (USA)
HEAT 12: John John Florence (HAW) vs. Ryan Callinan (AUS)
HEAT 13: Seth Moniz (HAW) vs. Jackson Baker (AUS)
HEAT 14: Kolohe Andino (USA) vs. Lucca Mesinas (PER)
HEAT 15: Griffin Colapinto (USA) vs. Jadson Andre (BRA)
HEAT 16: Kelly Slater (USA) vs. Caio Ibelli (BRA)
Upcoming MEO Pro Portugal Presented by Rip Curl Women’s
Round of 16 Matchups:
Heat 1: Johanne Defay (FRA) vs. Molly Picklum (AUS)
Heat 2: Sally Fitzgibbons (AUS) vs. Stephanie Gilmore (AUS)
Heat 3: Brisa Hennessy (CRI) vs. Courtney Conlogue (USA)
Heat 4: Lakey Peterson (USA) vs. Isabella Nichols (AUS)
Heat 5: Carissa Moore (HAW) vs. Bronte Macaulay (AUS)
Heat 6: Tyler Wright (AUS) vs. Gabriela Bryan (HAW)
Heat 7: Tatiana Weston-Webb (BRA) vs. Luana Silva (HAW)
Heat 8: Malia Manuel (HAW) vs. India Robinson (AUS)
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In feel-good story of the year, big wave
legend Bianca Valenti teaches 59-year-old ultra-VAL to surf
Mavericks in a mere handful of months!
By Chas Smith
Anti-depressive!
There are not so many surf stories left that
bring a tear to the eye of this crusty old surf journalist. Kelly
Slater being chaired up the beach after becoming Pro Pipeline at
49-years-old? Seen better. Zeke Lau hoisting ABC’s The Ultimate
Surfer trophy above his head after vanquishing foes in a swimming
pool? Lightly choked up. World Surf League shuttering its WSL
Studios overnight, firing tens of employees? Blinking rapidly.
But the story of big wave surfer Bianca Valenti teaching an
ultra-VAL to surf Mavericks in mere months thereby fulfilling his
dream?
I cannot even pretend to hide the flood gushing down my cheeks,
splashing onto trusty keyboard. You feel unmoved? Oh, I am a
calloused storyteller and rude. You must read her account though I
would encourage tissues close at hand.
Beyond proud of this guy / my student / dear friend Nellie
aka @lionelconacher who basically chased me down the beach about a
year ago to introduce himself and tell me he had a crazy idea: that
he wanted to surf Mavericks before he turned 60. He asked, Was it
possible? Could I help him? He was 59, and started surfing at 53.
Without hesitation, my confident optimistic self said: YES,
anything’s possible, AND there’s a ton of work that goes into it.
He assured me that when he commits to a goal he commits fully and I
wouldn’t have to worry about him not doing the work.
From the first time we went surfing together I saw the
absolute stoke and mental fortitude he exudes (in all aspects of
life) and I agreed to help him achieve his goal. This past month,
after 11 months of training, he caught and successfully rode his
first Mavericks wave! And two days ago, he caught a couple more,
with many more to come. Safe to say he’s hooked!
Surfing with Nellie is so fun — he’s got the best attitude
and just so happens to catch the best wave of his life every time
we surf. Coaching him is so fun, and even more special becoming
BFFs! Easily one of the highlights of my year! Congratulations,
Nellie!!! You are amazing and an inspiration to everyone! And you
are living proof that it’s never too late to start surfing, it’s
never too late to commit to and accomplish a major goal, and it’s
possible to ride a better wave every day. Thank you for being
you!!!
Beautiful. Not even the grumpiest of locals can besmirch.
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Open thread: Comment live, day two, as
Kelly Slater tries to avoid elimination from MEO Portugal in
sudden-death round two heat!
By Derek Rielly
Is watching pro surfing like being hit with an
outsize sledgehammer or more a succession of sharp stabbing
pains?
So many things to watch for today, and comment upon,
including Kelly Slater on the ropes and facing a further fall down
the ratings, his elimination heat likely late in the day,
Filipe Toledo in his element, will John John demonstrate any
interest in the wind-blown runners and will BIPOC Zeke Lau monster
his North Shore neighbour like he did at Bells in 2018.