In this corner...
Days ago, the retired Association of Surfing Professionals star, and onetime champion, Joel Parkinson approached a gaggle of pre-teen twenty-four-year-old TikTokers sliding down a muddy hill in his Gold Coast hometown and told them to stop. They did not immediately which led to a scuffle which has, in turn, divided a nation.
The Coronavirus pandemic, war, environmental catastrophes, etc. no match for Koolie Karen vs. The Halflings as families, friends, loved ones are being ripped apart, coming down on opposing sides as to who was in the right and who was in the wrong vis a vis the “bust up.”
Australia’s Number 9 news conducted a Facebook poll, yesterday (partake here) seeking comment from the public which further inflamed passions.
Many thought Parkinson was in the right as he had used a sheet of plastic for his sliding session thereby kind of preserving the integrity of the hill.
Others thought it was not the 2008 Pipeline Master’s place to stop semi-innocent fun n games as he has not been elected to the city council and had, in fact, inspired the joy.
Longtime pals refusing to speak with each other over differing views.
Husbands and wives considering divorce.
Kelly Slater yet to weigh in.
More as the story develops.
Joel’s a cunt 🤠
Up the bum no babies!
BeacChaz the drama kookh Grit is still trying to. make this a issue. They were Tik Toker out of town kook
For someone that doesn’t care, you seem overly invested in all this.
This is surely gravity’s fault:
The rain falling.
The mood falling.
Food falling into Porko’s gut.
His star falling.
The camera falling.
Society’s standards falling (tiktok fuckwits lauded)
Ban gravity, I say.
https://youtu.be/ELgL_n0xE0E
Fly Chas in to sort this event out properly as ring announcer.
In the blue corner – Joel ‘I can’t believe it’s not butter mountain’ Parkinson.
In the red corner – Ashton ‘Cry to the police shit neck slap puncher stab twat’ Coggan.
And in the green corner – tik tok ‘child adult please like me’ cockends.
Joel ‘weed will make you mellow’ angry man on 1ft wave tudor can be the commentator
Bring Kelly ‘I know more than all those decades of medically trained doctors’ Slater to comment on what he knows fuck all about alongside Tudor.
Now we gotta fun fight!
Please Chas make it happen.
Sober?
“the halflings” that is hilarious , keep this one going
Closely followed by Parko’s redemption on SAS. Surely Tracey has tan it across the ACA desk already!?
I shit you not!
There is talk now of having to close one lane of the highway at Kirra while the structural safety of the hill to be accessed .
It has long been damaged by surf photographers climbing all over it and this new damage is of concern of the hill collapsing onto the the highway.
And the rain keeps coming!!
Surfers are the worst environmentalists!!
Channel 9 conducted a survey? My faith in humanity has been restored. Beacons of truth. The moral compass of a nation.
Please stop
Fat arse Parko still dropping in.
Can’t we all just get along and agree that Parko is fat?
Kelly Slaters too busy shooting up for the tour
,this year
No comments until he’s arms are better in a couple of days
Quiet week in the surfing world Chas?
Quiet?!? this has been the busiest week this year!
I’m just narked it was a shit fight. At least they could have rolled in some jello or something first. Where’s the crowd walk? Where’s the announcer?
For those not familiar, a CUB is an acronym for cashed up bogan. As opposed to the visitors who are simply bogans.
Chas????
Koolie Karen is gold.
Has to be the best neg on BG this year,
I’ll put money on that it gets back to him.
Mud sticks
Treat yourself to a double Chas
Kelly- “Yeah, you know, lot of respect for Parko but back in 91′ in Cocoa Beach, we had this slip n slide that we made in the neighborhood that was over a half mile long. It was made from sustainable vinyl plastic, it’ll like biodegrade in the next few centuries. Someone told me it was the longest slip n slide in the world but honestly, I forgot to measure it because these boogieboarders from Daytona showed up- I hooted them off but they were getting pretty wild, like drop knee kinda stuff. I got so angry, I jumped on their sponges and snapped them all in half. So I get where Joel is coming from. I feel for him because the Australian government is so tyrannical, as you know, from actions like not letting me in to compete.”
Feature this yes please!
Credit DKlein’d
So punny of late!
😂
Fake news! No hills in Cocoa Beach ! The whole state is as flat as my wiener
Notice how there was no mention of hills (former resident of South Florida here). Kelly is crafty like that!
There were no waves in lemoore until senor’ Slater arrived and threw around a few mill.
Wouldn’t cost but a few OK vee neck crews to bulldoze a mud hill into shape in Florida no?
I’m so torn. I feel similar ire toward these YouTube dickheads who are destroying this public park. That rutted ugly stripe will not grow grass for many seasons. And all for the aggrandizement of these selfish rascals. Look at my acne afflicted face everyone, I’m ruining a public place! Hahaha!
But oh the hypocrisy of Judge Parko! He slid in the same spot days before and has zero moral gravitas. It’s ok for him but not for them — he’s adopted the globalist relativism of the elites. A weak stance. Only one things for sure, everyone here has mud on their face!