Glamorous trans-surfer Sasha Jane Lowerson.

Feral war of words erupts following surfing’s first trans competitor’s dominant performance in women’s longboard contest, “Trans-girls aren’t going to take over the world, we just want to be included, we’re humans too”

"More so-called political correctness gone mad for the one percent." 

Surfing’s first transsexual competitor Sasha Jane Lowerson has come out swinging on day one of the Western Australian state longboard titles, almost tripling the score of one of her fellow competitors.

Sasha Jane Lowerson, a forty-four-year-old Fly-In-Flight-Out worker in Australia’s lucrative mining biz, was one of Australia’s leading male longboarders before transitioning a couple of years ago and joining the women’s div.

“Trans-girls aren’t going to take over the world, we just want to be included, we’re humans too,” Lowerson told AAA. “I’ve been hiding in this male shell up… for 42 years. To still be made to be that guy that I’m not, it’s shattering,”

The “FIFO Queen” who is a “Rope Access Level 3 Painter & Blaster” up there in the wild north-west, has written about the struggle of being a gal in the rough and tumble game of mining.

“We arrive at site to sometimes be the only girl in our work crew. The challenges we face can be hard and sometimes feel like this isn’t worth it. But we get up and do it all over again and again day in day out. So to all the other strong women out there that live this life also I applaud you all and at the end of your shift today look yourself in the mirror and say ‘thank you!’”

Very inspirational, and I mean it ‘cause I like my trannies, the elfin faces, the flashy sexpot outfits, the way they like to catch ‘emselves in reflections so they can admire their irresistible new visions, the service pistol tucked between legs, sometimes operable, sometimes no.

Not everyone is so in thrall.

On a Facebook thread of Steve Del Rosso, the very good Western Australian surfboard shaper, opinion was a ninety-five-five split against, at least in my estimation.

Del Rosso’s opening gambit.

“I would like to know peoples opinions here but I am watching men dress up as women and competing in women divisions. As far as I am concerned if they still have balls they have no right as they are still a man. Sorry to say that but that’s how it is. That’s saying all man can dress as a woman and compete in lady’s divisions. The Eastern Europeans got banned from having to much testosterone in there systems in the 80’s. So now does that mean women can cheat and get high levels of testosterone to compete with these men saying they are women.”

The response.

“To me it’s easy if any sport has balls, have gender division & they can compete against each other. A male is born with more testosterone & shouldn’t compete against naturally born females.”

“More so called political correctness gone mad for the 1 percent.”

“Yeh it’s bullshit. I see it in a work environment too, we are built the way we are born. Men are way stronger muscle wise unless you a woman Russian weight lifter on the roids and women aren’t I watch them trying to swing sledgehammers at work. Women hold their own though can handle more pain than men, like to see a man try having a baby we carry on like we’re dying when we got the flu. Yeh 3 divisions the go the WSL would love that, then they can get more money off the government for having the events like they do with hitting the Tourism angle.”

“I don’t understand the rationale or the threshold that Surfing WA uses to determine Open ‘women’ division. Surely not it’s not biological?!?”

“I was down there today watching a bloke dressed a woman surfing against girls it was fucked up I had spew in my mouth.”

And so on until brave Lucy Small, the Sydney-based longboard and feminist, grabbed the mic.

(Lucy you’ll remember from Dirty Water. Over the course of an hour or thereabouts, we all agreed that white men are the worst and we recalled with gusto the wonderful Valerie Solanas and her Society for Cutting Up Men, SCUM.)

“I competed against Sasha a few months ago and we welcomed her to the womens division. Posting this is horrific and harmful and this issue seriously just doesn’t even have anything to do with you Steve.”


“What is just as infuriating is that all the men commenting here and saying this type of thing are operating under the assumption that because someone grew up biologically male they are automatically better than everyone in the womens division. This says less about it being unfair and more about your sexist attitude toward womens performance level in surfing.”

Blanco (left) celebrates being the best surfer in the world alongside Zeke Lau.
Blanco (left) celebrates being the best surfer in the world alongside Zeke Lau.

Caitlyn’s son, Kendall and Kylie’s brother Brody Jenner in committed amorous relationship with Ultimate Surfer Tia Blanco: “The pair had an instant connection over their shared love for the ocean!”

Hot couple summer!

It has been a hot minute, or two, since one of our kind, a surfer, officially dated a Hollywood celebrity and especially an honest-to-goodness Hollywood celebrity hailing from the most important, current, celebrity family but here we are, famous-adjacent. Page Six is reporting that Ultimate Surfer, and current world number twenty-two, Tia Blanco is officially dating Brody Jenner.

You, of course, may remember Jenner from his 2005 reality program The Princes of Malibu in which he, and his brother Brandon, lived the very good life in their mother Linda Thompson’s husband’s spacious home, much to his chagrin, but are more likely to recognize the classically handsome 38-year-old as half-brother of Kendall and Kylie Jenner who are, in turn, half-sisters to Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian.

Brody, Brandon, Kendall and Kylie share Caitlyn Jenner as a father.

Kim, Khloe and Kourtney share the late Robert Kardashian who successfully defended O.J. Simpson against his 1995 double murder charge.

Brody and Tia were, anyhow, photographed yesterday afternoon outside Erewhon Market in Calabasas, California just inland from the aforementioned Malibu.

According to the respected gossip page, the two met while Jenner was on family vacation in Hawaii and have been in a committed, amorous relationship since the middle of April, declaring:

The pair reportedly surfed together and had “an instant connection” over their “shared love for the ocean,” the source said, adding that it is “already a real relationship.”

It appears the Puerto Rican-born surfer still spends most of her time in Hawaii, so it has been a “long-distance relationship” so far, according to the report.

Jenner’s mom, Linda Thompson, posted about their “long awaited family vacation” to Hawaii on Instagram on April 11. She shared photos of Brody and his brother, Brandon Jenner, along with other family members.

Thompson, it goes on to say, regularly comments on Blanco’s Instagram page.

Blanco, you might recall, won last year’s The Ultimate Surfer competition guaranteeing her a certain amount of wildcards into World Surf League Championship Tour events. She recently became defeated by Carissa Moore and Stephanie Gilmore in the first round of the MEO Pro Portugal then became defeated by Tyler Wright and India Robinson in the elimination round.

Exciting days ahead as this spring love blooms.

Breakout Jackass star Poopies favoured to win Best Kiss at MTV awards over Robert Pattinson & Zoë Kravitz despite PETA labelling stunt with Texas Rat Snake “cruel” and calling for LA county prosecutors to “take appropriate legal action”!

Zoophilia hits the mainstream!

Carlsbad stuntman and former JOB fall-guy Sean “Poopies” McInerney has become the short favourite to win Best Kiss at the MTV Music Awards, held this June 6 at The Barker Hanger in Santa Monica. 

The kiss appears in Jackass Forever’s The Quiet Game sequence, where RachelnWolfson, Steve-O and Poopies are dressed as the French mime Marcel Marceau and are forced to do stunts without reacting to them. 

Poopies is asked to kiss a Texas Rat Snake, a non-venomous serpent popular in the pet trade, which bites him on the face. 

A second attempt yields the same result. 

Other nominees for Best Kiss include Robert Pattinson and Zoë Kravitz for Batman, Hunter Schafer and Dominic Fike for Euphoria, Lily Collins and Lucien Laviscount for Emily in Paris, and Tom Holland and Zendaya for Spider-Man: No Way Home. 

PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, were made very sad by the man v rat snake stunt and called for a thorough police investigation.

If Poopies wins it’ll be the first time in MTV history a bestial love scene has won the prestigious award thereby mainstreaming the gentle art of Zoophilia.

Poopies was lucky to even make the movie after only just surviving a Jackass stunt for the Discovery Channel’s Shark Week where he jumped a shark enclosure on waterskis.

Poopies ate it straight off the ramp, the sharks hit, panic ensued, Chris Pontius wept, divers scattered the reef sharks and the kid was thrown in a speed boat and rushed to hospital for surgery.

“I thought I was going to die. There were ten sharks around me and… (pauses, breathes out)…there’s like ten sharks around me, I’m trying to swim out… (pause)… And I  I couldn’t swim out, dude, I knew I got bit and I thought I was going to be attacked by six more sharks.”

"End the wave with another layback snap!"
"End the wave with another layback snap!"

Professional surfers jumping back and forth from Challenger née Qualifying Series to Championship Tour support Albert Einstein theory of insanity!

Change is good.

You have certainly heard the quote, misattributed to the great thinker Albert Einstein, that the definition of insanity is “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” In truth, there is no record of Einstein ever uttering such a thing, the earliest reference likely being recorded in a 1981 Knoxville, Tennessee newspaper describing a meeting of a local Al-Anon, the organization that helps families of alcoholics.

It is, nevertheless, a nice quote and I was thinking about it, today, while chatting with David Lee Scales during our weekly get together.

I had watched very much of the just-wrapped Boost Mobile Gold Coast Pro. Too much, perhaps, and was left with the impression that those who filter in and out of the Challenger née Qualifying Series to the Championship Tour are insane. That is, they surf the same exact way but expect different results.

It’s exactly good enough to get out of the second tier, exactly bad enough to drop them right back in.

Why don’t any radically experiment with technique, board choice, strategy? The great Kelly Slater, love him or adore him, has never been afraid to throw absolutely wacky design into the mix. Sometimes it serves him, other times it does not but it certainly keeps things interesting.


But wouldn’t you be refreshed by an angry Leonardo Fioravanti back-paddling everyone and causing water fights or an airborne Sally Fitzgibbons committed to launching whenever and wherever possible?

Change is good.


Listen here.

Cape Hatteras beachfront homes fall into sea at prime surfing location as shifting environmental landscape continues haunting the rich and famous!

Calling all illegal burritos.

The same exact problem facing the noted environmentalist, and 11x world champion, Kelly Slater and his beachfront Oahu neighbors is also foiling likeminded wealthy friends from Miami all the way up to Cape Hatteras, North Carolina’s premier surfing destination.

Namely, the ocean creeping up and up and up, flooding multi-million dollar properties, eroding front yards, destabilizing foundations.

Slater, of course, solved his immediate trouble through the usage of illegal burritos but apparently his wealthy friends in Cape Hatteras did not receive the memo as, days ago, their houses plunged into the sea.

Per ABC News:

Two beach houses have fallen into the waves along North Carolina’s coast, U.S. National Park Service officials said in a statement Tuesday.

The unoccupied homes were located along Ocean Drive in the Outer Banks community of Rodanthe. The park service confirmed both collapses Tuesday and has closed off the areas around the houses.

Debris from the first fallen house was spreading widely. Officials from the Cape Hatteras National Seashore, which is part of the park service, said they will be working closely with the homeowner to coordinate cleanup activities.

This is the third time a home has fallen into the surf this year. A house in Rodanthe collapsed in February and spread debris across many miles of beaches before the homeowner and volunteers were able to clean most of it up. However, clean up efforts for smaller pieces of debris continues.

“Unfortunately, there may be more houses that collapse onto Seashore beaches in the near future,” David Hallac, superintendent of National Parks of Eastern North Carolina, said in a statement. “We proactively reached out to homeowners along Ocean Drive in Rodanthe after the first house collapse and recommended that actions be taken to prevent collapse and impacts to Cape Hatteras National Seashore.”


But might these destroyed homes make for bountiful new reefs?

One man’s trash another’s treasure?

Or should Kelly Slater teach the ways of illegal burrito to east coaster southerners who are more accustomed to illegal grits?