Emotional hammers blur wild new record for champ!
The Surf City El Salvador Pro has taken on a life of its own in its aftermath, one very much more interesting than the surf contest itself.
You know that Griffin Colapinto bested Filipe Toledo in the men’s final in waves of questionable quality, according to the analyst JP Currie.
While he did not particularly disagree with the final score, did note that many of the brightest Brazilian stars are scored against their own potential, not necessarily their performance.
Well, Colapinto beat Toledo, all fine and good, except it was NOT all fine and good in Brazil where vociferous fans exploded with rage. Derek Rielly reported some of the fury, including:
“SHAMEEE!!”
“The champion was already decided even before the heat begins. World Shame League.”
“If the judges do that again in Saquarema, the jiuripoca is gonna pew.”
“What a joke… Not any credibility left.”
And also that there is a massive protest being planned at the next stop, which just so happens to be Brazil.
“You have to make the biggest protest in history in Saquarema! Bring banners, balloons planes, boo all the time! Make them leave due to emotional stress!”
Very exciting and even more exciting with Colapinto’s mama entering the fray, dropping emotional hammers on Brazilian priorities.
Lost in it all, though, is the stylish Stephanie Gilmore who also won in El Salvador and, officially, became the winningest female surfer of all-time after besting Lakey Peterson in the final.
Thirty-three total event crowns.
Gilmore, ever gracious, offered “muchas gracias” to El Salvador and now is ranked third in the world, just behind Defay and Moore.
Does she have a shot at title number eight or will Brazilian riots derail?
Extremely exciting.
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Can you imagine the Wall of Positive Noise production meeting this week to assure there is no mention of any of this being mentioned on air? They’ll probably label Felipe and Griffin as “fellow Californians”…
Fun Fakt!
Portuguese for ‘Rock-n-Roll is: “Pedra e bolo”.
Both Colapinto and Toledo are Californian.
Does one riot with a shell necklace on?
Domo arigato, Mr Roboto.
It’s true Gabes can’t win the final otherwise it undermines the mid year cut or even the point in surfers going to all events.
I think the sames happens to Slater, his turns and surfing is usually way more tweaked than his rivals on the same heat but judges kinda benchmarks him against what surfing he could do and not really against the other man (woman or trannnie) on the heat.
TRUE now try being 59, too many joint surgeries and grumpyAF. Watched my oldest surf this weekend and said why would I want to fight that crowd? Just bought a new board today as I won’t let those bastards drag me down…
Either way its not curing cancer. Just a sport that I enjoy but as I’ve become an old bastard don’t really care about who wins like I did when I was 18. Toledo will make the top 5 easily and yes possibly win the title
He’s a flop if he doesn’t stitch up number 1 place by trestles.
Rio and jbay,where he’s pretty much the favourite and has the history to prove it,should assure that.
However Chopes,if it’s over 4 foot,might relegate him from surfing the least heats at trestles.
meanwhile, in Peru, a well-endowed Brazzo stripper interrupts El Presidente’s speech…is this what we can expect at Surf City Squakerina? or during a futue Pres Biden speech? kinda looks like Hunter!
https://youtu.be/PPGBvCXbgWk
“The most fun you’ll ever have in surfing is the first time you catch a wave, and then you start wondering whose best –and it’s all downhill from there”.
and the length of ride…without getting the hair wet.
That’s easy these days.
oh right on, man. have you ever wondered whose opinions are best? that’s right: yours. it’s been all downhill since
I already know that 27 yo me was best in that dept. There’s nothing to wonder there.
Not gonna theorise ‘bout anybody else.
My lovely bride has the good sense to understand that she will forever be in second place to Steph. The day Steph comes knocking she’s out on the street and knows it.
metoo FFF, female surfers can inquire here…
No one has had more handed to her than Tyler. Bias judging for a woke wanna be. Barrel dodger. Won a pipe masters after was moved from mauii. Then claimed it for barrell dodging. Most over scored one trick pony for her signature move. The ugliest bum drag layback over and over. Woke surf league. Not to mention JMD licking her ass the whole way.
Yep, biggest fucking kook ever. Male, female or tranny
I’m not a fan either but damn!
I actually thought Lakey was a bit underscored in the final. Jordy in the earlier rounds. What may be a factor is how the wave surfed looks from the tower, not the telecast.
I miss CI Jordy, big boned Jordy, Pre-non alcoholic beer Jordy. His surfing now is tired and his scores reflect that.
WSL sucks…blood out of both competitors & spectators & sponsors.
He looks slow
Gotten too old now.
Oldest surfer on tour after Slater.But that could mean still not retired by 2038 as well.
Easy fix, yank the contest out from under the fucking Brazzos and move it somewhere else. No money or recognition when they pull shit like this.
Yeah ditch the biggest market, you’re onto something there boy, enlighten us a bit more pls jenious
Its easy, try to follow along here (sorry English only, no Port a Ghee).
The spectators in that cuntry are being little cry baby assholes. As a result, move the contest to a non-shithole country where the people aren’t going to throw a tantrum hissy fit if a judge from their own cuntry gives a non-Brazzo a winning score. See how easy that is, much easier if you weren’t a Brazil nut though.
wow you care for what people say on the internet, lol that’s a first
Bread and Circuses my friend.
Don’t get distracted by the shiny thing being waved in front of your face.
Keep an eye on his right hand as he reaches for your wallet and murders journalists.
Surf bloody surf
Surf bloody surf
Surf bloody surf
Surf bloody suuraaaaaahf!
I bought that knock off tape in Bali on a trip there. For quite the while it didn’t get much play because it scared me. But now, its just the most amazing thing to my ears. And I’m not that much into metal. This version is sock knockin rockin roll.
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Yeh, agreed, it was full on when it came out. Just sounds so groovy and melodic to me nowadays though.
“The champion was already decided even before the year began. That is why the final day is to be held at a non consequential wave. World Shame League.”
Surely that is the line they should be using to refute things.
There is 2 Brazilian judges on the panel at the last Wsl contest. To say that it was rigged is really hard to believe. It is a subjective sport. What you might like in surfing I may not. The surfing of both surfers in the final was great. Waves were sub par that is for sure for the contest.
5 judges and one puppet master
Gil-more as the (story, nation, league) develops…
Happy Gil-more
was checking to hear what the opening line of gilmore productions after the ball breaks glass: “Sensational?” spotted this intro and forgot about the opening song by Lynyryd Skynyrd…Stephie’s Gone With The Win…
https://youtu.be/xTkEVeWBaow
I saw them mention that stat in the final and honestly thought they had mucked it up and it was heat wins for the year or something.
What an absolute icon. Long live the Queen.
Doesn’t that tie her with Curren for 33 wins?
like to see that match-up at Jeff’s Place Super Expression Session. $ on Tommy!
Does she have a Prince Andrew equivalent that she is trying to STFU?