Very handsome Kelly Slater (left). Even more handsome, and age-appropriately dressed, Peter Mel (right).
Very handsome Kelly Slater (left). Even more handsome, and age-appropriately dressed, Peter Mel (right).

Blood Feud: World’s greatest 50-year-old surfer Pete Mel chokes out world’s other greatest 50-year-old surfer Kelly Slater in searing Instagram clip!

The year of the condor.

Kelly Slater, the consensus greatest surfer of all time, has, until now, also been considered the current greatest surfing quinquagenarian. Days before turning 50, Slater became a Pipeline Pro and thereby saved himself the indignity of suffering the World Surf League’s controversial mid-season cull. Skipping World Surf League events in El Salvador and Brazil to physically rehab while also getting insanely barreled only burnished the 11-time world champion’s bonafides.

Major and surf media swooning at the elder statesman still plying his craft at the highest level.

Except.

Just today, 52-year-old Santa Cruz icon Pete Mel choked out the idea of Slater’s elderly stranglehold by posting the most searing clip ever of a man, woman or birthing person surfing with half a century-plus under the belt.

Examine.

You, of course, know Mel as the world’s second greatest surf commentator and also big wave stud. His Maverick ride, months ago, won the coveted Ride of the Year award.

All things considered, from Ride of the Year to picking waves off in a crowded lineup and demolishing, I think it is clear that this is the year of the condor.

Disagree?

I dare you.

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Tom Hanks (right and Tom Sizemore (left) surf amphibious troop carrier in France.
Tom Hanks (right and Tom Sizemore (left) surf amphibious troop carrier in France.

Mighty United States Marine Corp ravaged by unforeseen surf enemy as famed “Code Red II” swell cripples two amphibious troop carriers!

"You can either surf or you can fight!"

The very famous swell dubbed “Code Red II” by unimaginative Surfline hacks has now, officially, subsided but its memory lingers. Who will ever forget Kai Lenny, Robin to Mark Zuckerberg’s Batman, racing down the world’s fastest right in Maui? Or all those brave Tahitians sending it across “the place of broken skulls?” Or a surf journalist etching his name in the annals, hopping the shoulder of giants like Ian Walsh and Billy Kemper?

But did the monster waves have ulterior motives?

Maybe sent from Russia or China?

For it was revealed, today, that the selfsame surf event crippled two amphibious troop carriers of the mighty Marine Corps just south of Trestles, north of Oceanside, at Camp Pendleton.

Per reporting in The Washington Times (not to be confused with Jeff Bezos organ The Washington Post):

One of the amphibious combat vehicles rolled on its side in the high surf, while another apparently developed mechanical problems that resulted in both crews evacuating to safety, according to local media reports.

“The incident did not result in injuries to the Marines and sailors aboard the ACVs,” the Marine Corps officials in a statement.

Lt. Gen. David J. Furness, the deputy commandant of the Marine Corps for Plans, Policies, and Operations, said a temporary pause on ACV waterborne operations was “the right thing to do” as the probe into what happened proceeds.

Current training on the land — including live-fire exercises — will continue, officials said.

Blame Surfline?

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Billy Watson and spectator steer the ski back to glory.

Wild scenes at Burleigh Heads as onlookers help noted local surfer and lifeguard rescue jetski lodged in rocks during monster swell, “Rough day at the office! Couple of scratches!”

"I didn't see how he got there, but the poor bloke was well and truly wedged on the rocks."

The Burleigh Heads surfer James “Billy” Watson, a noted local, lifeguard, big-wave surfer, tamer of Jaws etc, has shown terrific class under pressure after he retrieved his lost ski from the rocks at Burleigh Heads, albeit with the enthusiastic help of onlookers. 

Watson, a long-time standout at Burleigh and regular water patrol ski driver, was whipping in at real eight-foot Burleigh, with pal, when the ski was lost and washed onto the treacherous rocks of the Burleigh Heads Cove. 

As anyone gonna tell ya, it ain’t easy getting off the rocks with a board under arm, let alone a six-hundred pound ski.

With a little help, Billy got some water under the impeller and out of danger, to the wild cheers of spectators. 

“Rough day at the office! Couple of scratches!” said Watson.

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Pretty ain't she.

World’s most decorated surfer Kelly Slater lists stately 5 bedroom beachfront North Shore manor on rental marketplace for bargain basement $46k per month!

Like like a king.

Kelly Slater, the world’s most decorated surfer, has officially listed his Oahu manor for rent. Perched on the surf-rich North Shore just a stone’s throw from Laniakea, a short drive from Haleiwa, the 5 bedroom/6 bath beachfront estate, spanning 6700 square feet, also features a swimming pool, air-conditioning, hardwood flooring, decks, a patio and garage for which to park an SUV or pick-up truck on large tires.

The beachfront portion, it should be noted, is also protected by burritos.

Slater purchased the home in 2017 with Architectural Digest swooning, “(It) is infused with Asian and Hawaiian design elements, made especially apparent by the serene boardwalk over an outdoor pond with a Buddha statue sitting in the midst of tropical plant life.”

Now, how much do you think this legacy property goes for per month.

$150,000?

$75,000?

Wrong.

Act today and all can be yours for $46,000.

Bargain basement.

Imagine the stories whispered from the walls or places walls should be (due an open-ish floor plan).

Imagine resting your head, each night, where greatness occasionally does.

Examine Slater’s interior decorating touches below. Follow your heart and rent here.

 

CORRECTION:

Slater’s home, this his second on the North Shore does not have burritos nor a statue of Buddha.

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Owen with his two-time world champ sis Tyler. He got stiffed for eight hundred gees, Tyler almost six.

Surf Olympian Owen Wright says says theft of almost one-million dollars of his personal fortune by glamorous blonde bookkeeper forced him to risk early-onset dementia by competing and destroyed relationship with his parents, “(It’s) still damaged because of the anger issues I had around this”

"The physical risk I‘ve taken on to keep surfing was a choice I made because I was not financially in the position to stop my career.”

The surf Olympian Owen Wright has told a courtroom the theft of almost one million bucks of his personal stash by a family friend employed as the fam’s bookkeeper led to his estrangement from Ma and Pa Wright as well as friction with his siblings and his pop star wife. 

In a victim impact statement read to court prior to the sentencing of horse racing aficionado and poker machine enthusiast Shane Maree Hatton, who copped five years at the top with a three-year non-parole period, Owen said he accused family members of stealing and even told his wife, accomplished songstress Kita Alexander, to lay off the spending. 

Owen said he was “emotionally worn down”, couldn’t sleep, was perpetually pissed off and anxious. Accusing his parents of ripping him off had lasting ramifications. 

“My relationships…are still damaged because of the anger issues I had around this,” he said.

And, because of the theft, he couldn’t get out of the pro surfing game despite his catastrophic 2015 brain injury.

“I wanted to retire but I couldn‘t financially (due to the impact of the offending) and fought back into my career risking my life in the process… I was still being stolen from while I could barely walk and while the doctors were saying I would never work again in my career. The physical risk I‘ve taken on to keep surfing was a choice I made because I was not financially in the position to stop my career.”

Owen told the court he’d been saving for a family home and trying to set up a retirement fund, two enterprises stymied by the theft, although regular BeachGrit readers will remember the $5.1 million beach shack O bought in Byron Bay three years ago, which he later developed into four luxury villas, selling one for $6.5 mill, another of which he kept, the $1.6 million house at Lennox Head with its indoor swimming pool that meandered through the living room,  the Federation-style house in Byron Bay (sold for a little under a million), the beachfront townhouse at Thirroul (675,000) and the gorgeous mountain-top hideaway (bought for 750k, sold for a million).

Everyone’s version of a happy retirement is different, I think.

Owen’s ma, Fiona, said she felt “somehow responsible” for the theft ‘cause she recommended Hatton to run the books. 

“Her stealing from us was a heartbreaking despicable act,” she said.

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