Kelly's burrito-free joint. Rent, tennish gees a week.

Hawaiian realtor seeks to correct record regarding surfing great Kelly Slater’s use of “illegal burritos,” blame falls on The Inertia for wantonly spreading misinformation!

Democracy dies in darkness.

Kelly Slater, world’s greatest surfer, 11x competitive professional surfing champion, etc. recently made waves by putting one of his two Oahu North Shore homes on the rental marketplace for a song ($36,000 per month). Recent changes in local laws allow for homes to be rented out for at least three months and surfers world over checked under couch cushions, rifled through pockets to see if a spare $108,000 might be found.

BeachGrit, which broke the story, lovingly described the property, adding it would be safe from ocean rage thanks to a burrito, or sand filled bag that stops erosion, out the front and a Buddha statue by the swimming pool.

Well, Slater’s Hawaiian realtor was kind enough to call me as I drove east, yesterday, in search of the mythical non-surfing WSL surf fan and shared there was, as it were, no Buddha by the pool and no burrito out front. In fact, she declared, the most recent Pro Pipeline winner has never used burritos on either of his North Shore homes and it was all an untruth.

You certainly recall the original story in the Dec. 5, 2020 issue of the Honolulu Star-Advertiser in which reporter Sophie Cocke investigated “wealthy and famous homeowners endangering Hawaii’s beaches.”

Included:

In 2018, Kelly Slater, an 11-time world surfing champion who lives on Ehukai Beach by the world-famous Banzai Pipeline surf break, illegally installed a burrito. He, as well as his neighbors, were fined just $2,000.

Slater paid the fine and wrote to the Department of Land and Natural Resources last year asking it to approve his illegal structure so his home would be protected from future hurricane surf, as well as unexpected and seasonal weather. Lemmo, in response, rejected the request and underscored the seriousness of the situation.

Blame fell on The Inertia for spreading that bit of misinformation and I did not disagree with her one bit.

So the record is now, officially, corrected.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
30 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
Surfer
Surfer
4 years ago

Or is just being lazy and not using the intelligence that you have to actually produce some decent content. And yet here I’m commenting on such content.

channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago
Reply to  Surfer

The ‘content’ is merely a launchpad for you down here. Or perhaps ‘up’ here in the comment firmament.

channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago

HOW DARE SHE shame anyone for their love of Mexican food, the FINEST cuisine on the PLANET.

Even Jesus loved Mexican Food. Or at least some good old fashioned Tex Mex.

CANCEL HER!!!

SAY YES TO BURRITOS, TACOS, AND CHIMICHANGAS OF ALL STRIPES. NO MEXICAN FOOD SHOULD BE CONSIDERED ILLEGAL EXCEPT MAYBE TACO BELL AND THOSE AWFUL THINGS YOU GET FROM 711 OR FROM THOSE VENDING MACHINES YOU USED TO GET ON THE UNIVERSITY OF HAWAII CAMPUS.

I STAND WITH KELLY!

Gil Gunderson
Gil Gunderson
4 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Mmmmmmm… Montezuma’s at Cooly circa 98

Surfer
Surfer
4 years ago

Heaven forbid you actually write content of your own and fact check articles you take from others

notsurfingtoday
notsurfingtoday
4 years ago

What’s this thing of late, real people paying real attention to this site – colapinto’s mom, pete mel, and now even a hitherto unknown realtor, who actually phones in to set the record straight?

astro
astro
4 years ago

Heh, if they’ve come here to learn anything …. They’re gonna be sadly disappointed.

channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago
Reply to  astro

She needs to learn the Constitutional Rights of ev’buddy to eat Mexican food, dammit.

notsurfingtoday
notsurfingtoday
4 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Burritos. Oh, and guns.

Gil Gunderson
Gil Gunderson
4 years ago

At 36k, do I get regular personal check ins from a faith healer?

Tom
Tom
4 years ago

9K a week do we have pics of this joint i would want a pool with that dolphin and topless dutch women included – i couldnt be bothered to check on link if were pics

Rich Marx
Rich Marx
4 years ago

Realtors exist to make lawyers look honest.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
4 years ago

I’d believe the delightfully named Honolulu Star-Advertiser reporter Sophie Cocke over an unnamed Hawaiian ‘realtor’ (on Kelly’s payroll) any day.
The official record was already correct if there is proof of him having paid his $2000 fine.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
And now there has been a demonstration and graffiti-fest outside his burrito party to encourage him to leave Hawaii and return to his Floridian homeland.
Kelli Ite Domum
Kelly go home…

Racquel Hill-Achiu
Racquel Hill-Achiu
4 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

Hmmmm well Sophie’s article was as inaccurate as this article was and NEVER verified any information with property owner, as this group didn’t do either. PERIOD. Never ever did anyone from star advertiser, beach grit, inertia or any other feed speak to anyone of credibility to fact check. The only reason we comment or call for retraction is because people send this crap to us, naturally we would want it retracted. Cmon don’t be so ignorant. What’s a fun fact is these guys have been to and seemingly enjoyed their time at the surf ranch. You’d think they’d have enough respect to get their stories right

channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago

Are you saying that Kelly HATES Mexican food???!?

He HATES IT?!?

Wow.

I’m flabbergasted.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
4 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

There’s a good chance that Racquel is actually RaKelly in disguise…

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
4 years ago

Do you happen to star in any adult oriented real estate ‘features’ ?

If not, Racqueli Ite Domum…

Huli Opu
Huli Opu
4 years ago

Aloha e Racquel Achiu. This is the second time on BG that you’ve come out strongly about the ProPublica and StarAd story about illegal beach burritos vis a vis Kelly Slater’s north shore properties. As I recall, your first response was vehemently denying that Slater had any sand burritos. Yet that was incorrect and Sophie’s assertions were/are empirically factual. Could you please tell us specifically what is/was inaccurate about the story and Slater’s current burrito status?
As you are a candidate in my district 2, running against Makua Rothman and four others, can you tell me the distinction(s) between you and Makua? I am currently undecided. Mahalo nui and good luck to you.

Stephen Wolfram
Stephen Wolfram
4 years ago

Sophie Cocke oh yeah.

channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago

I’ve been called worse.

Stick man
Stick man
4 years ago

” I sand correct” – Ke11y

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
4 years ago

“mythical non-surfing WSL surf fan”

Isn’t that like 70% of the people who comment here?

dickie toledo
dickie toledo
4 years ago

that wasn’t a burrito he buried, it was machados board bag for the winter

Hippy
Hippy
4 years ago

Remember when Lewis got permission to interview Bruce?

Will Charlie get a DM from Kelly asking for a “clear the air” interview?

Hippy
Hippy
4 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

Surely this cavalcade of praise over the last few weeks has melted the 11 time block

Stick man
Stick man
4 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

Lol seriously like 11 of the last twelve articles have mentioned him…

20 mule team
20 mule team
4 years ago

Due to increasing pressure to remove the burritos due to cultural appropriation, açaí bowls were installed along the perimeter of the house.

Manuka
Manuka
4 years ago
Reply to  20 mule team

More like poke bowls, no?!
Açaí bowls are used to stabilize the natives huts by the Amazon River bank.
Talk about arquitecture cultural appropriation.

Sean Connery
Sean Connery
4 years ago

For 36k a month I think burritos should be included.

AI (for ever) .
AI (for ever) .
4 years ago
Reply to  Sean Connery

totally agree, the Buddha statue I can do without but without the illegal burrito the whole deal is off!


30
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x