"You can either surf or you can fight!"

The very famous swell dubbed “Code Red II” by unimaginative Surfline hacks has now, officially, subsided but its memory lingers. Who will ever forget Kai Lenny, Robin to Mark Zuckerberg’s Batman, racing down the world’s fastest right in Maui? Or all those brave Tahitians sending it across “the place of broken skulls?” Or a surf journalist etching his name in the annals, hopping the shoulder of giants like Ian Walsh and Billy Kemper?

But did the monster waves have ulterior motives?

Maybe sent from Russia or China?

For it was revealed, today, that the selfsame surf event crippled two amphibious troop carriers of the mighty Marine Corps just south of Trestles, north of Oceanside, at Camp Pendleton.

Per reporting in The Washington Times (not to be confused with Jeff Bezos organ The Washington Post):

One of the amphibious combat vehicles rolled on its side in the high surf, while another apparently developed mechanical problems that resulted in both crews evacuating to safety, according to local media reports.

“The incident did not result in injuries to the Marines and sailors aboard the ACVs,” the Marine Corps officials in a statement.

Lt. Gen. David J. Furness, the deputy commandant of the Marine Corps for Plans, Policies, and Operations, said a temporary pause on ACV waterborne operations was “the right thing to do” as the probe into what happened proceeds.

Current training on the land — including live-fire exercises — will continue, officials said.

Blame Surfline?

Like like a king.

Kelly Slater, the world’s most decorated surfer, has officially listed his Oahu manor for rent. Perched on the surf-rich North Shore just a stone’s throw from Laniakea, a short drive from Haleiwa, the 5 bedroom/6 bath beachfront estate, spanning 6700 square feet, also features a swimming pool, air-conditioning, hardwood flooring, decks, a patio and garage for which to park an SUV or pick-up truck on large tires.

The beachfront portion, it should be noted, is also protected by burritos.

Slater purchased the home in 2017 with Architectural Digest swooning, “(It) is infused with Asian and Hawaiian design elements, made especially apparent by the serene boardwalk over an outdoor pond with a Buddha statue sitting in the midst of tropical plant life.”

Now, how much do you think this legacy property goes for per month.

$150,000?

$75,000?

Wrong.

Act today and all can be yours for $46,000.

Bargain basement.

Imagine the stories whispered from the walls or places walls should be (due an open-ish floor plan).

Imagine resting your head, each night, where greatness occasionally does.

Examine Slater’s interior decorating touches below. Follow your heart and rent here.

CORRECTION:

Slater’s home, this his second on the North Shore does not have burritos nor a statue of Buddha.