Faith healer Charlie Goldsmith revealed as Kelly Slater’s secret weapon in raw new documentary series, Lost Tapes, “Even up to the minute I paddle out I’ve had him on the phone!”

“The truth is, I’ve had a lot of days and time on the road where I’m not enjoying. And, it’s not pro surfing it’s my own life."

A few years back, the world was introduced to “healer, inventor, businessman” Charlie Goldsmith in the Kelly Slater episode of Sound Waves, one of the better video shorts produced by the WSL.

Goldsmith, real popular with some, attacked by sceptics on the other side, was eighteen when he “first felt a strange sensation between his hands. He says he soon discovered this energy could heal people. Worried about exposing himself to a world of doubters, he wanted to keep his gift secret until science supported his claims.”

In this episode of Lost Tapes, which follows Slater’s travails on the 2019 tour, we swing over to J-Bay. 

Slater, forty seven at the time, something the commentators keep reminding him of, is even more introspective than usual. 

“I’ve had a lot of days and time on the road where I’m not enjoying. And, it’s not pro surfing it’s my own life, my own personal issues, family stuff, relationship … sometimes you go surfing and forget about and you don’t think about it. Surfing becomes that drug that covers it up for a while.” 

Goldsmith tells Slater, “The truth is, you’ve had so much success that if you didn’t have one more bit of success you’d have had more than anyone else.”

“He gets me not-thinking,” says Slater. “I’m a heady person…even up to the minute I paddle out, I’ve had him on the phone.” 

Essential. 

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Very handsome Kelly Slater (left). Even more handsome, and age-appropriately dressed, Peter Mel (right).
Very handsome Kelly Slater (left). Even more handsome, and age-appropriately dressed, Peter Mel (right).

Blood Feud: World’s greatest 50-year-old surfer Pete Mel chokes out world’s other greatest 50-year-old surfer Kelly Slater in searing Instagram clip!

The year of the condor.

Kelly Slater, the consensus greatest surfer of all time, has, until now, also been considered the current greatest surfing quinquagenarian. Days before turning 50, Slater became a Pipeline Pro and thereby saved himself the indignity of suffering the World Surf League’s controversial mid-season cull. Skipping World Surf League events in El Salvador and Brazil to physically rehab while also getting insanely barreled only burnished the 11-time world champion’s bonafides.

Major and surf media swooning at the elder statesman still plying his craft at the highest level.

Except.

Just today, 52-year-old Santa Cruz icon Pete Mel choked out the idea of Slater’s elderly stranglehold by posting the most searing clip ever of a man, woman or birthing person surfing with half a century-plus under the belt.

Examine.

You, of course, know Mel as the world’s second greatest surf commentator and also big wave stud. His Maverick ride, months ago, won the coveted Ride of the Year award.

All things considered, from Ride of the Year to picking waves off in a crowded lineup and demolishing, I think it is clear that this is the year of the condor.

Disagree?

I dare you.

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Tom Hanks (right and Tom Sizemore (left) surf amphibious troop carrier in France.
Tom Hanks (right and Tom Sizemore (left) surf amphibious troop carrier in France.

Mighty United States Marine Corp ravaged by unforeseen surf enemy as famed “Code Red II” swell cripples two amphibious troop carriers!

"You can either surf or you can fight!"

The very famous swell dubbed “Code Red II” by unimaginative Surfline hacks has now, officially, subsided but its memory lingers. Who will ever forget Kai Lenny, Robin to Mark Zuckerberg’s Batman, racing down the world’s fastest right in Maui? Or all those brave Tahitians sending it across “the place of broken skulls?” Or a surf journalist etching his name in the annals, hopping the shoulder of giants like Ian Walsh and Billy Kemper?

But did the monster waves have ulterior motives?

Maybe sent from Russia or China?

For it was revealed, today, that the selfsame surf event crippled two amphibious troop carriers of the mighty Marine Corps just south of Trestles, north of Oceanside, at Camp Pendleton.

Per reporting in The Washington Times (not to be confused with Jeff Bezos organ The Washington Post):

One of the amphibious combat vehicles rolled on its side in the high surf, while another apparently developed mechanical problems that resulted in both crews evacuating to safety, according to local media reports.

“The incident did not result in injuries to the Marines and sailors aboard the ACVs,” the Marine Corps officials in a statement.

Lt. Gen. David J. Furness, the deputy commandant of the Marine Corps for Plans, Policies, and Operations, said a temporary pause on ACV waterborne operations was “the right thing to do” as the probe into what happened proceeds.

Current training on the land — including live-fire exercises — will continue, officials said.

Blame Surfline?

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Billy Watson and spectator steer the ski back to glory.

Wild scenes at Burleigh Heads as onlookers help noted local surfer and lifeguard rescue jetski lodged in rocks during monster swell, “Rough day at the office! Couple of scratches!”

"I didn't see how he got there, but the poor bloke was well and truly wedged on the rocks."

The Burleigh Heads surfer James “Billy” Watson, a noted local, lifeguard, big-wave surfer, tamer of Jaws etc, has shown terrific class under pressure after he retrieved his lost ski from the rocks at Burleigh Heads, albeit with the enthusiastic help of onlookers. 

Watson, a long-time standout at Burleigh and regular water patrol ski driver, was whipping in at real eight-foot Burleigh, with pal, when the ski was lost and washed onto the treacherous rocks of the Burleigh Heads Cove. 

As anyone gonna tell ya, it ain’t easy getting off the rocks with a board under arm, let alone a six-hundred pound ski.

With a little help, Billy got some water under the impeller and out of danger, to the wild cheers of spectators. 

“Rough day at the office! Couple of scratches!” said Watson.

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Pretty ain't she.

World’s most decorated surfer Kelly Slater lists stately 5 bedroom beachfront North Shore manor on rental marketplace for bargain basement $46k per month!

Like like a king.

Kelly Slater, the world’s most decorated surfer, has officially listed his Oahu manor for rent. Perched on the surf-rich North Shore just a stone’s throw from Laniakea, a short drive from Haleiwa, the 5 bedroom/6 bath beachfront estate, spanning 6700 square feet, also features a swimming pool, air-conditioning, hardwood flooring, decks, a patio and garage for which to park an SUV or pick-up truck on large tires.

The beachfront portion, it should be noted, is also protected by burritos.

Slater purchased the home in 2017 with Architectural Digest swooning, “(It) is infused with Asian and Hawaiian design elements, made especially apparent by the serene boardwalk over an outdoor pond with a Buddha statue sitting in the midst of tropical plant life.”

Now, how much do you think this legacy property goes for per month.

$150,000?

$75,000?

Wrong.

Act today and all can be yours for $46,000.

Bargain basement.

Imagine the stories whispered from the walls or places walls should be (due an open-ish floor plan).

Imagine resting your head, each night, where greatness occasionally does.

Examine Slater’s interior decorating touches below. Follow your heart and rent here.

 

CORRECTION:

Slater’s home, this his second on the North Shore does not have burritos nor a statue of Buddha.

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