Bethany Hamilton (pictured) ripping Kelly Slater's Surf Ranch, clearly not disabled but also clearly a woman thereby not invited.
Bethany Hamilton (pictured) ripping Kelly Slater's Surf Ranch, clearly not disabled but also clearly a woman thereby not invited.

Sexist bomb explodes over ESPYs as ESPN, which once famously nominated Bethany Hamilton for “best female athlete with disability” only to have her throw back in sporting giant’s face, forgets to invite women to award show!

An unfolding disaster.

Tonight, Wednesday, July 20th, is the athletic world’s answer to the Academy Awards, the Grammys, etc. The ESPYs, a red carpet, black tie affair, put on by sporting news giant ESPN, will air live at 8:00 pm PST from Los Angeles’ Dolby Theater and be hosted by basketball great Steph Curry. And while it should be a moment of wonderful celebration of world records being shattered, championships being won, a sexist controversy has exploded like a bomb.

ESPN has allegedly decided not to invite women to the dance.

Per reporting in Fansided:

The 2022 ESPY Awards are set to go down in Los Angeles on Wednesday but one of the biggest nights in sports will have a dark cloud hanging over it after several nominated athletes were not invited to the ceremony.

Of the athletes speaking out about their lack of invitation … they are all women.

Nicole Baxter the teammate of ESPY nominee Caprice Dydasco took aim at ESPN for withholding a seat at the ceremony.

“In what world would @espn nominate Cappy for best NWSL (National Women’s Soccer League) player and then tell us that category is not invited to the ESPYS????????” Baxter tweeted. “The constant disrespect for womens sports SMH.”

It is not the first time ESPN has made a gendered or abelist blunder.

Back in 2016, inspirational surf star Bethany Hamilton was nominated in the “Best Female Athlete with a Disability” category but subsequently threw it right back in ESPN’s face, ESPN trying to spin by claiming, “Bethany expressed that she was appreciative of the nomination but didn’t feel it was a good fit for her, so ESPN removed her from the category upon her request.”

Hamilton was, most definitely, not appreciative of the nomination.

Rude of ESPN to make unfortunate assumptions even in 2016 when humankind’s mind was slept.

Ruder, today, to forget to invite women altogether.

On a happier note, I suppose, the world’s greatest surfer Kelly Slater has won six ESPYs and the world’s most beloved surfer, Mick Fanning, has won one.

Still does not help the unfolding disaster.

Will there be boycotts?

Monies where mouths are?

Let’s hope.

Day (background) Surf Life Saving Australia (foreground) headed for epic clash (Instagram)
Day (background) Surf Life Saving Australia (foreground) headed for epic clash (Instagram)

Top Gold Coast Ironman sues Surf Life Saving Australia, others, after tumble from dangerous piece of playground equipment: “While swinging between monkey bars, (Ali) Day lost grip and fell two meters then immediately felt wrist pain.”

What is the most menacing terror lurking on the asphalt?

Count your lucky stars is my main message to you this morning, for you never know when disaster might strike. You may be hungry, for example, for a Subway sandwich, purchase one, eat half then get fined $2664 by the Australian government for having it in your purse. Or you could be there living in surf paradise Coolangatta and a top triathlete with many victories including illustrious Ironmen etc. but then slip off a dangerous piece of playground equipment and have to stare down the possible ending of your career.

Well, at least there is a lawsuit to cover the latter and triathlete Ari Day is taking that route, dragging Surf Life Saving Australia and others before the courts in a story that is gripping the Gold Coast.

Ali Day is demanding $485,000 after a promotional photographic session for the Iron X Series, the world’s “richest one-day race in surf life saving,” went terribly wrong. According to the report, Day was swinging between monkey bars, lost grip and fell two meters, or six feet, to the floor then immediately felt pain in his wrist. The defendants, including Surf Life Saving Australia, were negligent, he alleges, for providing adequate training and floor mats.

The course, he claims, was also “deliberately difficult.”

Day was forced to get 28 pins, screws and plates in his wrist and though he has won six more Ironmen since the injury, claims his career will certainly be cut short.

Day (pictured) sad.
Day (pictured) sad.

$300,000 of the claim, in fact, is for past and future economic loss. $10,000 is earmarked for his partner, Kel Day, who lovingly tended to him while he healed.

All very sad but let us further consider, together, the most most dangerous piece of playground equipment as to avoid one of these nasty incidences ourselves. When I was a young boy in Papua New Guinea, our school had one of those maypole like things with metal rings at the end to grasp. We would run, fly into the air with much g-force then slip and shoot across the yard like shrapnel.

Merry-go-rounds are also naughty with the same aforementioned g-force but also metal bars that spin wildly at child mouth level.

Swings, especially when dillweeds aren’t paying attention and walk out in front of a swinger in full pump.

What else? What is the most menacing terror lurking on the asphalt?

Conan and his beloved ex-prez.

“Investigations ongoing” into RCVA co-founder and former top pro surfer Conan Hayes following arrest of three election officials and allegations he dressed as a “computer nerd” and used falsified ID to make copies of election software!

Conan Hayes "at the center of many of the most critical points of Trump's effort to undermine democracy.”

If you’ve been following the travails of Conan Hayes, you’ll know his jagged trajectory from tamer of giant Cloudbreak and Teahupoo to toy merchant to detective uncovering electoral frauds.

(You can slide in there his busy courtroom schedule, too, dealing with a felony charge and various lawsuits.)

Three weeks ago, the NY Times revealed Conan was a major player in an “election denial network” who was paid $200,000 by Donald Trump’s legal team, and  who allegedly went undercover to make copies of election software, searching for evidence the Dems stole the show from the Grand Old Party in 2020.

Now, following the arrest of a third Mesa County election official, Colorado’s The Daily Sentinel has revealed investigations are “ongoing” into Conan’s role in the alleged scheme to make copies of election software.

A little background. 

Back in March, Mesa County Clerk Tina Peter was indicted by a Mesa County grand jury on seven felony and three misdemeanor counts of election tampering and misconduct after Colorado officials said she “allowed an unauthorized person into a secure facility during an annual upgrade to the county’s election equipment software, compromising the equipment.”

That person, it’s alleged, is Conan.

Per the Sentinel,

Though previous court documents hinted at his identity, the affidavit names that person, California resident Conan James Hayes. So far, no charges have been filed against him or others cited in the affidavit, such as Garfield County resident Sherronna Bishop, but it indicates investigations are ongoing.

“Brown conspired to misrepresent the role and identity of the person — Conan Hayes — who they intended to use, and did use, to copy the hard drive by using the identity of Gerald Wood,” Cannon wrote in the affidavit.

“Brown’s actions, statements and/or inactions were a — successful — attempt to influence the public servant’s decisions and actions before and during the trusted build through Sandra’s misrepresentations,” Cannon added. “Wood no longer is a target of the investigation. The person who completed that computer services using Wood’s identity is still under investigation.”

A story in Vice on the “MAGA Army profiting off Trump’s election lies,” described Conan as being “at the center of many of the most critical points of Trump’s effort to undermine democracy.”

He was part of Byrne’s “Bad News Bears” team in D.C. in the weeks after the election, working to find voting anomalies. Then he was in Antrim County, Michigan, as part of a team flown in by Byrne to examine Dominion voting machines. The resulting report, written in part by Hayes, was held up by Trump in the Oval Office as proof of voter fraud, the former Attorney General Bill Barr told the January 6 committee.

Then, Hayes was reportedly in Phoenix for the bogus Maricopa County recount effort led by Cyber Ninjas. And in August, QAnon influencer-turned-congressional candidate Ron Watkins claimed that Hayes was the person who took hard-drive images from Dominion voting machines in Mesa County, Colorado, where clerk Tina Peters is currently facing felony charges for tampering with election equipment.

Darkly exciting.

Was, and still, the most beautiful man in surfing. | Photo: @sensitiveseashellcollector

Australian woman reveals the disastrous text message she accidentally sent Kelly Slater… twice… following intimate shower date, “I felt sick!”

“We’d become super super good friends. We were pen pals, emailing daily. He was on and off with Pamela Anderson, I was helping him through that. And a few of my closest friends, guys and girls, said you gotta seal the deal."

What’s the worst text message you wish you could’ve unsent immediately after punching the hit button, that still haunts etc?

I gave my phone to a boozed gal in a bar one night, told her she could hit anyone she wanted, say whatever she wanted, and the dreadful woman wrote an unfathomably vile missive about the mother, dying of cancer as fate would play it, of the recipient.

Apple, of course, has released an unsend function for messages on its IOS16 update, which gives the writer fifteen minutes to change their mind.

The podcast of the insanely popular Inspired Unemployed Instagram account, two Australian tradies turned folk heroes, one-point-four-mill followers, riffed on the update in their latest episode, which is titled “Dedicated to Kelly Slater” for obvious reasons.

An Australian women of roughly middle age called in and described meeting Kelly at a bar-restaurant in Jan Juc, near Bells, twenty years ago, and how he memorised her telephone number after hearing her tell it to someone else, leading to a long-term and, mostly platonic, friendship.

The woman told the hosts Jack Steele and Matt Ford she was determined not to go beyond making out, or “pashing” as she describes it, using a long disappeared term, for she sought a long-term friendship not a one-time roll in the hay.

Her friends, however, convinced her there would come a time, perhaps in her dotage, when she’d regret, terribly, her decision not to ride the famous prong.

“We’d become super super good friends. We were pen pals, emailing daily. He was on and off with Pamela Anderson, I was helping him through that. And a few of my closest friends, guys and girls, said you gotta seal the deal… my best friend said you’re going to become old and regret you didn’t do it… I promised I’d text her as soon as it happened.”

Anyway, a little while later Slater is in Sydney, mystery gal in Melbourne.

She flies up.

“Middle of the day. Saturday. We obviously did the do. We were both in the shower and all I could think of was, shit, I have to call my best friend. I literally got out of the shower, wasn’t even dressed, and messaged these exact words. ‘Did it. Had sex. Going to leave now.’”

The message went to Slater, she says, not pal.

Despite disaster, she knew she had to inform pal of event.

The text went to Slater again.

“He was in the shower. I was sitting on the front of the bed. He asked me what was wrong, I said, can you please give me your phone? Give it to me!”

The friendship, she says, fizzled after the texts were revealed although, “I think he felt he had to prove himself after that. All I can say is he’s very competitive.”

Tall tale or true?

(Story starts at 25:22.)

An ode to the sublime experience of getting utterly pounded!

Come and share your favorite memory.

But when was the last time you were utterly pounded? Ocean waves of “historic” significance stacking out the back with your human, all too human, heart heaving right up into your human, all too human, throat?

Breathing in the salty mist, one suck at a time, while digging for the horizon with arms built of noodle, with hands lightly muscled by typing up the latest exploit-adjacents of the world’s greatest surfer Kelly Slater?

Of his luxury watch nemesis Laird Hamilton?

For me it has been far too long but there I was, minutes ago, breathing, scratching, duck diving, repeating until out the back and breathing again but this time actually huffing and puffing.

Another ocean wave, more than historic, maybe even three German Male Lower Legs or 897654 Surfline feet, there and mocking, forcing ego to crash reality but which wins?

Ego or reality?

Ego always.

Spin, noodle scrape, limp to feet, catch lip in that all too human head and…

…roll in the brine.

Knees bouncing off skull dulled by the mundane, leash tugging on leg, an economical Thai massage.

Getting pounded is totally underrated.

Share your favorite memory below.