“We’d become super super good friends. We were pen pals, emailing daily. He was on and off with Pamela Anderson, I was helping him through that. And a few of my closest friends, guys and girls, said you gotta seal the deal."
What’s the worst text message you wish you could’ve unsent immediately after punching the hit button, that still haunts etc?
I gave my phone to a boozed gal in a bar one night, told her she could hit anyone she wanted, say whatever she wanted, and the dreadful woman wrote an unfathomably vile missive about the mother, dying of cancer as fate would play it, of the recipient.
Apple, of course, has released an unsend function for messages on its IOS16 update, which gives the writer fifteen minutes to change their mind.
The podcast of the insanely popular Inspired Unemployed Instagram account, two Australian tradies turned folk heroes, one-point-four-mill followers, riffed on the update in their latest episode, which is titled “Dedicated to Kelly Slater” for obvious reasons.
An Australian women of roughly middle age called in and described meeting Kelly at a bar-restaurant in Jan Juc, near Bells, twenty years ago, and how he memorised her telephone number after hearing her tell it to someone else, leading to a long-term and, mostly platonic, friendship.
The woman told the hosts Jack Steele and Matt Ford she was determined not to go beyond making out, or “pashing” as she describes it, using a long disappeared term, for she sought a long-term friendship not a one-time roll in the hay.
Her friends, however, convinced her there would come a time, perhaps in her dotage, when she’d regret, terribly, her decision not to ride the famous prong.
“We’d become super super good friends. We were pen pals, emailing daily. He was on and off with Pamela Anderson, I was helping him through that. And a few of my closest friends, guys and girls, said you gotta seal the deal… my best friend said you’re going to become old and regret you didn’t do it… I promised I’d text her as soon as it happened.”
Anyway, a little while later Slater is in Sydney, mystery gal in Melbourne.
She flies up.
“Middle of the day. Saturday. We obviously did the do. We were both in the shower and all I could think of was, shit, I have to call my best friend. I literally got out of the shower, wasn’t even dressed, and messaged these exact words. ‘Did it. Had sex. Going to leave now.’”
The message went to Slater, she says, not pal.
Despite disaster, she knew she had to inform pal of event.
The text went to Slater again.
“He was in the shower. I was sitting on the front of the bed. He asked me what was wrong, I said, can you please give me your phone? Give it to me!”
The friendship, she says, fizzled after the texts were revealed although, “I think he felt he had to prove himself after that. All I can say is he’s very competitive.”
Tall tale or true?
(Story starts at 25:22.)