Igarashi (pictured) kicking sand on Slater's shallow grave.
Igarashi (pictured) kicking sand on Slater's shallow grave.

Kelly Slater’s childhood Olympic dream steps foot into grave as one-time American Kanoa Igarashi stabs surfing icon in the back!

Cold tamahagane steel twisting lightly.

The International Surfing Games, 2022, is officially over and with it a culmination of the highest stakes professional surfing has ever witnessed. For those unaware, the “team” (i.e. nation represented by surfer) that won the contest would be awarded a bonus slot into the 2024 Teahupo’o Olympics, an extra chance to claim gold at “the end of the road.”

As it works, countries with ranked World Surf League surfers get two slots each on both the men’s and women’s sides. The winner of the Surfing Games now has three with the third and that winner, for the men, was Japan in the very handsome form of Huntington Beach born and bred Kanoa Igarashi.

Igarashi took down Indonesia, Australia and Portugal to hoist the extra spot for the Land of the Rising Sun high above his head with one hand. The other was busily stabbing surf icon Kelly Slater right in the back.

For if Igarashi had been surfing for his hometown, that slot would have gone to the mighty United States of America and if it had gone to this land of free, home of brave, Slater, at time of writing, would have been Tahiti bound, gently stroking his childhood dream of standing high on a three-tiered podium as the Star Spangled Banner wafted.

Imagine that pain throbbing between shoulder blades. Cold tamahagane steel twisting lightly.

I suppose Slater could blame Kolohe Andino and Nat Young, who lost in rounds six and seven respectively, but what good would that do?

In better news, the U.S. women’s team won so now Courtney Conlogue can go to the Olympics.

Silver linings.

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Wes Smith
Wes Smith
3 years ago

Very Huntington esque. I’m just here for the badges.

Corey Webster
Corey Webster
3 years ago

Slater just needs to surf for Belgium or Turkey. Also a win at Huntington gives you an extra spot at Teahupoo?

Wowen Ilson
Wowen Ilson
4 years ago

So, a Huntington Beach born and raised Surfer wins a contest in Huntington, thereby giving an extra slot to a country he never lived in for a contest in waves that are pretty much the polar opposite of Huntington..?
To paraphrase what a wise man once said:

Fuck the ISA!

the devil's toe
the devil's toe
4 years ago

When are you changing your publication name to “The only surfer in the world that matters is Kelly Slater and we think everyone else sucks blog.”? You guys are aware that others exist aren’t you?

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
4 years ago

Very aware that others suck. Thank you.

Urchin Sepsis
Urchin Sepsis
3 years ago

YA haven’t read many articles around here have ya? Go ahead and listen to Chas’ latest poddy. Tell me how much Kelly love you find there.

benstandsup
benstandsup
3 years ago

your calibration’s off brother. that, or your eye sight.

Hippy
Hippy
4 years ago

It gets good in shoulder season and two swells combining. Summer is a wash except for competition surfing?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
4 years ago

Noone knows less about surfing, except for his mate Dave.

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
4 years ago

Thanks. I actually went looking for that but couldn’t find it anywhere. Stupid definition of team but whatever i spose.

Ricky Spanish
Ricky Spanish
4 years ago

Is there a contest Kolohe can’t not win?

No Feelings
No Feelings
4 years ago

I still have to love it when Kanoa speaks Japanese. He has the same accent I would (HB native also).

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
4 years ago

If japan won the mens team why are they listed in 5th place:

https://isasurf.org/event/2…

Looks to me that the team ranking is based on top 3 placings, in which case the US won both.

The way i read that, egghead lives to surf another day.

shane “PIMP SKINNY” cozz
shane “PIMP SKINNY” cozz
4 years ago

How can someone represent a country that they were not born in? I understand having pride in your heritage ( I.E. I’m Italian American,born in USA) but represent the place that educated, supported and nurtured you to become the athlete you became.🤨

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
4 years ago

Wait til you learn how easy it is to get jewish citizenship. Derek will be sure to explain in detail,

Geronimo Mastrobator
Geronimo Mastrobator
4 years ago

Because he is a kook. Lets just hope that those endorsements are paying him in Japanese Yen. Not quite as lucrative when you have to convert it to U.S. dollars.

gloriusresultsofamisspentyouth
gloriusresultsofamisspentyouth
4 years ago

IKR??!

JOB's second chin
JOB's second chin
4 years ago

There’s plenty of Japanese surfers that charge. Don’t mind them getting an extra slot.

justiceminister
justiceminister
4 years ago

The flags of convenience seen flapping in the Huntingdon beach breeze were as real as the flags on the back of ships coming in and out of ports worldwide.

Darth Fader
Darth Fader
4 years ago

Quinoa is a traitor. How could he abandon the City of his upbringing, the one true kingdom that brought you club rubber nights circa 1999

Hippy
Hippy
4 years ago
Reply to  Darth Fader

you remember that? At the Hilton!!!

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago

executive planning and the decision tree: did california fall in the sea? are we at war?

picking up after a wild card, coitus interuptus, 1st class coding, and the power, or not of the man-in-charge…https://youtu.be/iZHuaPYvXak

JOBBOD
JOBBOD
4 years ago

Beautiful soul killed in plett today by a white, chas. Give her her roses

JOBBOD
JOBBOD
4 years ago
Reply to  JOBBOD

Goddamn Kiki we love you

Urchin Sepsis
Urchin Sepsis
4 years ago
Reply to  JOBBOD

Second attack in Plett recently. Also the same day, more than 30 years ago, that I was attacked not far from there.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
4 years ago
Reply to  Urchin Sepsis

You a survivor?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
4 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

You dont not miss much.

Urchin Sepsis
Urchin Sepsis
3 years ago

Funny you say that. I was just thinking that if I dropped the date here, along with previously posted info, you in particular, would figure it out and start calling me by my first name irl.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
3 years ago
Reply to  Urchin Sepsis

Youll always be Champ to me

Urchin Sepsis
Urchin Sepsis
4 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Yes Chas. Nearly cost me an arm and a leg. I was lured here during your sharkpocaplypse period and I thank you for that. Therapeutic I tell ya.

Internet Technician - Level 5
Internet Technician - Level 5
4 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Would Beachgrit be interested in a first hand account of Stab High at Lakeys? Complete with GoPro footage of a Perisopes session that resembled Snapper for number of pros per square m.

Sean Connery
Sean Connery
4 years ago

It’s hard to root for anyone that celebrates like that.


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