Outdoor retail giant REI stuffs coal into Lower Trestles’ stocking by calling for immediate US government tax credit on purchase of new e-bikes!

E-bikes for all!

Almost one month ago, noted surf stylist and artist Tyler Warren had enough. Taking to Instagram, the San Clemente local became furious at the scourge of e-bikes stuffing Lower Trestles sacred cobbled stone and penned, “The time has come to put our foot down and stop the use of Electric Bikes in California State beaches and parks,” writes Tyler. “Please sign the petition in my bio and help keep our special places not over run with excess of people and over useage that takes away from the beauty and peace of our last naturally beautiful places. The electric bikes have gotten so bad they are littered up and down beautiful state park beaches on a daily basis. It makes it feel like the 405 freeway when your out to get your fill of beach sand and ocean.”

Any surfer who has traipsed the trail from Carl’s Jr. to Lowers, on foot, has been wildly awed by the rise of the machine. E-bikes, piloted by children, teenagers, grown adults zip by at very fast speeds, whirring environmental happy (unless their charge comes from coal burning power plants). As Warren notes, though, there are many.

Many many.


Well, outdoor retail giant REI wants to make sure there MORE by pushing the E-Bike Act to its 2.3 million Instagram followers, inviting them to sign a petition that would “tell Congress to pass the E-Bike Act to create a 30% tax credit of up to $1500 on the purchase of new e-bikes.”

Clearly purely altruistic but who do you think the average e-bike consumer is? Impoverished environmentalists looking for a cleaner way to get to work, cleaning the air and reducing hair-pulling traffic on roads?

Me too.

Though, I’d imagine some enterprising San Clemente parents may get in on the deal too.

E-bikes for all!

Sign here!


World Surf League chief strategist Dave Prodan reacts to torrent of hate surrounding re-imagined tour: “Reality is that our audience figures have never been higher, which drives the value of the platform…”

A shaker of martyrdom mixed with holier-than-thou and a splash of father-knows-best.

Ever since the World Surf League released its 2023 Championship Tour schedule, I have deeply wondered what those who make their living behind the Wall of Positive Noise think about the reaction. CEO Erik Logan, Senior Vice-President Jessi Miley-Dyer, chief strategist Dave Prodan et. al. As you know, Lower Trestles will continue to crown champions* and Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch will return, hosting the very first event after the mid-season cull.

Surf fans, core and non, vomiting, spewing unfiltered loathe at the WSL on channels usually reserved for happy affirmations.

Did Logan, Miley-Dyer, Prodan and… whoever is left grow sad? Stiffen spines? Laugh into flavored seltzer waters?

Well, in a missive to aggrieved professional surf watcher, Dave Prodan tipped the mood.

In response to the question, “How’s those comments on the WSL page? Who is your audience? Do they factor in to the decision at all? Doesn’t sound like it,” Prodan responded, “I appreciate the comments are negative. Reality is that our audience figures have never been higher, which drives the value of the platform, which means we can continue to run events.”


A shaker of martyrdom mixed with holier-than-thou and a splash of father-knows-best.

David Lee Scales and I, anyhow, discuss the re-imagined tour and also the great state of Florida. A fine enough show and one I hope you enjoy.

Biolos (left) and Pyzel. Happier times.
Biolos (left) and Pyzel. Happier times.

Jon Pyzel chokes out Matt Biolos in heavyweight brawl, named best surfboard shaper in the world by noted design and technology website!

Tap out.

The noted technology, design, science and science fiction website Gizmodo turned its steely gaze into our humble surfing space, days ago, in a broad feature that aimed to name “the best surfboards, wetsuits and surfing accessories.” Now, when I stumbled upon the headline, particularly the word “accessories,” I was all but certain the “best surfboard” would be Gerry Lopez’s Costco special and so you can imagine my shock when the heavyweight brawl came down to John John Florence’s longtime shaper Jon Pyzel and Kolohe Andino’s meister Matt Biolos.

The winner?


Gizmodo wrote:

A lot of pro surfers use Pyzel boards, and so for years I stayed away, thinking they were too advanced for me. That may be true of some of their shapes, but the Phantom (6’1” round tail version) surprised me by being one of the most user-friendly boards I’ve ever tried. It paddles incredibly well and is very stable under-foot. It has a ton of drive to get down the line, but it also turns effortlessly.

I used this board in everything from 2-3-foot beach break slop to racing 6-foot+ right-hand point-breaks, and the board didn’t blink. In other words, it can grovel (i.e. catch small, weak waves) decently well but can still hold a line when things get critical. It’s good with steep, late drops, too. I went with the five fin-box version, so I could ride it as a thruster (three fins) or quad (four fins). It’s so versatile that if I could only have one board, this would probably be it. When things start getting in the double-overhead range (8-foot plus) you’ll probably want to have a step-up, and I actually found a 6’ 6” Pyzel Tank for $300 on Craigslist that I use for those big days. But for everyday conditions, the Phantom is dreamy.

Biolos did not leave the ring empty handed as his Lost + Lib Tech Quiver Killer was named best travel board.

Pretty good.

7till8 won for best wetsuit, Roark took the boardshort category and Dryrobe Advanced Long Sleeve earned best changing robe.

Do you use a changing robe?

Me either.

Celebrate the rest of the winners here.

Logan (left) telling Tom Carroll his strategy for winning surf fans back.
Logan (left) telling Tom Carroll his strategy for winning surf fans back.

As deluge of disgust continues to pound World Surf League over re-imagined 2023 tour feat. Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch, CEO takes evasive action: “Erik Logan doesn’t allow everyone to @mention them.”

Keep my name outta your mouth.

In my time here on this earth, I have noticed a general pattern when it comes to announcements of very unpopular things. The public initially revolts and screams extremely angry words. After a few days, a counter-narrative begins to take hold with silver linings, other perspectives finding purchase. The extremely angry words soften to a low grumble. The rose colored lens-wearers smugly nod and everyone waits for the next bit of outrage.

The World Surf League’s recently-announced 2023 Championship Tour, however, has bucked this trend, the fury growing, growing, growing with no end in sight. The bitterness, exasperation bouncing back and forth between the crown being decided at Lower Trestles, again, and Surf Ranch being pulled from its shallow grave.

Pure vitriol.

Now, I don’t know how this deluge is being dealt with beyond the World Surf League’s patented Wall of Positive Noise. I’d image the early hours of frenzy were met with paternal “understanding” but its unrelentingness must now be disquieting.

Or maybe not.

CEO Erik Logan has taken the proactive step of limiting those who can speak his name in Instagram comments.

Will this turn the tide? Allow the counter-narrative to finally take hold? The Best of Maroon 5 once again re-filling the heretofore sad spaces of Logan’s mind?

Or maybe not?

Currently more questions than answers.

Palm Springs cements reputation as place for old people to go and die as “Fountain of Youth” Coral Mountain surf park concept killed by city council!

The Curse of Adriano de Souza?

Los Angeles-area surfers harboring dreams of driving east for two hours, instead of north for four, and ending up in a postmodern architectural wonderland, as opposed to a dairy apocalypse, to surf Kelly Slater’s patented wave-generating technology woke up deeply depressed this morning.

After much debate, public hand-wringing, back and forths, La Quinta’s city council, last night, unanimously rejected the Coral Mountain citing community concerns that the surf club would bring “the wrong element” i.e. people still alive.

The project, announced two years ago, promised, “hundreds of houses, a hotel and a high-tech surf wave basin” to be built in the shadow of the glorious Santa Rosa mountains. Concerns about building a wave tank during a historic drought were raised, though the developers promised it would take less water than neighboring golf courses. The footprint was shrunk to alleviate stress but there was no alleviating the stress of “surfers” coming to town.

Kelly Slater’s wave technology is as fun to surf as it is awful to watch but, after all these years, we are still only left with the cow stink.

How did all that happen?

How is there not one more plow on earth?

The curse of Adriano de Souza?