Genius denied.

Sam George, the preeminent self-proclaimed most important voice in surfing, its guiding light and holder of all truths, once married to fictional surf royalty must have woken to quite a start this morning. I’d imagine his typical routine is to remove the cucumber slices covering his eyelids, blinking a few times before sitting up and sliding his footsies into OluKai slippers, making his way to the restroom to run a manicured hand through silver fox hair, affixing his beaded tiger’s eye brace around right wrist, heading to the kitchen in order to steep himself a cup of oolong tea and re-reading his most recent works.

And this morning it would have been his vigorous defense of Lower Trestles on likeminded website The Inertia which bills itself “the definitive voice of surf and outdoor.” His eyes would have lovingly caressed its title, “Defending Lower Trestles: Despite the WSL Finals Vitriol, It’s One of the World’s Best Surf Spots,” nodding at his bash of “earnest young reporters” bad-mouthing the much-ballyhooed Final’s Day, solemnly nodding upon reaching the line, “Take it from me, a surfer with both the authority and years of experience to make the following claim: they’re all wrong. Because the fact is that by any reasonable standard, Lower Trestles is one of the world’s best waves.”

He would have flowed through the poetry of the following few hundred gorgeous words, a thorough history of Lowers, what it meant for surfboard design and progression, how it remains the mark of progression, before reaching his final hammer.

But for a reminder of what it does provide, re-watch match one of the women’s event at this year’s world title finale. Honestly now, compared to anything you surf on a regular basis, would you call Lowers a “mediocre” wave?

I didn’t think so.

More forceful than anything ever written.

Now, he may not have initially imagined that his eyes would have drifted down toward the comments. Since The Inertia is, clearly, the “definitive voice,” its mollycoddled readers rarely add but there below George’s piece a whole six responses floated.

A sly smile must have crossed his handsome face, between sips of oolong. No doubt songs of praise, small monuments built to his genius.

mjp declared, “Trestles’ bathymetry changed a bit in the 80’s and it’s not a terrible wave , so therefore let’s decide the world champion there.”

Elwood added, “The fact is, that by any reasonable standard, Lower Trestles is not one of the world’s best waves.”

NotFromSoCal concluded, “Time to travel a little?”

A vicious ripping by The Inertia standards.

Brutal and unrelenting.

Oolong dribbling from George’s rage-trembling frown.

But do you agree with him or with The Inertites?

Many tears.

Reckless surf tabloid BeachGrit’s twin desks were sent reeling, this morning, after one of its principals was publicly accused of continuing a disturbing pattern of wanton sexism. The latest in a series of offending posts was carelessly uploaded to the website’s lightly trafficked Instagram account and featured a sixty-ish-year-old woman in a full wetsuit and jacket getting extremely barreled on a nine-foot longboard, blown out with the spit and sent into the atmosphere where she rode an airplane before doing a hands-free full rotation.

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The Committee for Equity in Women’s Surfing, with a mission of supporting access, inclusion, equity and equal pay and promises to be “new wave of professional surfing,” immediately pounced on the ugly piece of content, declaring, “Per usual @beach.grit is disrespecting women. What will your daughter think @surfjournalist?”

Surf journalist Chas Smith had not considered asking his young daughter before sharing the video and immediately apologized to her for perpetuating such bigoted trash and promised he would be better.

Many tears flowed thereafter.

Smith thought about calling his older daughter, who plays soccer for Vanderbilt, to apologize to her as well, hoping beyond hope that she hadn’t seen the thoughtlessness which might have led her to believe she could do backflips to the atmosphere and ride an airplane after scoring a goal but couldn’t handle any more shame.

He is currently seeking help.

Freedom.

Now, every surfer worth her salt knows there are many nude beaches that also feature fine waves, Blacks in San Diego, Privates in Santa Cruz, Gunnison in New Jersey, Trail Six right next to Lower Trestles etc., but many, if not most, might be lightly tentative to bring their young children with them for a shared session.

Too much weird.

Yuck yuck parts.

Thick puritanical blood pumping through unconscious minds but in a shock communiqué, a holistic health expert has declared that bringing children of every age is not only appropriate but healthy. Nadine Robinson, who raised her own three daughters on nude beaches, declares, “Scantily clad women’s bodies are on display in every aspect of pop culture. And that imagery is harmful not because it shows too much skin, but because all that skin looks the same: skinny, white and young. The mainstream media gives women a dangerously narrow definition of what is beautiful. I was much more terrified that my children would internalize an unrealistic image of women’s bodies from a Grand Theft Auto commercial than I was of them seeing a 60-year-old woman’s bare breasts at the beach. I wanted to expose my daughters to all types of bodies, at all ages and stages.”

Assuaging fears of perversion or general naughtiness, Robinson counters, “Nude beaches are about body positivity. And most people at naked beaches are trying to undo the harmful cultural stereotypes they were indoctrinated with. So, when children are there, adults are enthusiastic gatekeepers of their healthy sexuality and safety. The innocence, honesty and normalcy of bodies is celebrated on a naked beach, and most people are very welcoming to children.”

Hmmmm.

But what do you think about that? Does it change your opinion about leaving your six-year-old on Blacks’ gritty sand whilst you make barrel?

I suppose it should.