Sam George, the preeminent self-proclaimed most important voice in surfing, its guiding light and holder of all truths, once married to fictional surf royalty must have woken to quite a start this morning. I’d imagine his typical routine is to remove the cucumber slices covering his eyelids, blinking a few times before sitting up and sliding his footsies into OluKai slippers, making his way to the restroom to run a manicured hand through silver fox hair, affixing his beaded tiger’s eye brace around right wrist, heading to the kitchen in order to steep himself a cup of oolong tea and re-reading his most recent works.
And this morning it would have been his vigorous defense of Lower Trestles on likeminded website The Inertia which bills itself “the definitive voice of surf and outdoor.” His eyes would have lovingly caressed its title, “Defending Lower Trestles: Despite the WSL Finals Vitriol, It’s One of the World’s Best Surf Spots,” nodding at his bash of “earnest young reporters” bad-mouthing the much-ballyhooed Final’s Day, solemnly nodding upon reaching the line, “Take it from me, a surfer with both the authority and years of experience to make the following claim: they’re all wrong. Because the fact is that by any reasonable standard, Lower Trestles is one of the world’s best waves.”
He would have flowed through the poetry of the following few hundred gorgeous words, a thorough history of Lowers, what it meant for surfboard design and progression, how it remains the mark of progression, before reaching his final hammer.
But for a reminder of what it does provide, re-watch match one of the women’s event at this year’s world title finale. Honestly now, compared to anything you surf on a regular basis, would you call Lowers a “mediocre” wave?
I didn’t think so.
More forceful than anything ever written.
Now, he may not have initially imagined that his eyes would have drifted down toward the comments. Since The Inertia is, clearly, the “definitive voice,” its mollycoddled readers rarely add but there below George’s piece a whole six responses floated.
A sly smile must have crossed his handsome face, between sips of oolong. No doubt songs of praise, small monuments built to his genius.
mjp declared, “Trestles’ bathymetry changed a bit in the 80’s and it’s not a terrible wave , so therefore let’s decide the world champion there.”
Elwood added, “The fact is, that by any reasonable standard, Lower Trestles is not one of the world’s best waves.”
NotFromSoCal concluded, “Time to travel a little?”
A vicious ripping by The Inertia standards.
Brutal and unrelenting.
Oolong dribbling from George’s rage-trembling frown.
But do you agree with him or with The Inertites?