“Jonah Hill wants it really bad!”

As reported by BeachGrit one week ago, the Hollywood funnyman and Malibu VAL Jonah Hill will play brawling, gambling, raising hell golfer John Daly in an upcoming biopic.

Daly, a mulletted good ol boy from Arkansas, now fifty-six, was a journalist’s dream during his nineties peak, dem smoked and pickled tonsils rarely out of form.

Some of his iconic lines,

“I believe nicotine plus caffeine equals protein.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever stepped into a gym – they won’t let me smoke there.”

“I will just put four or five extra packs of cigarettes in my bag and I will be fine.”

“Do I have to know rules and all that crap? Then forget it.”

“There are probably some things I could do to keep my flexibility up, but I’d rather smoke, drink diet Cokes and eat.”

“I was never able to have three of four beers. One’s too many, and ten just ain’t enough. Basically it’s the way I’ve been since high school.”

In a 2016 interview with Graham Bensinger, Daly said he drank somewhere between a case of beer and 40 beers a day and that if he got a bit of a roll, he could get on the turps for three months straight. 

Anyway, Daly, has responded to reports Jonah Hill is gonna play him an upcoming biopic, in a piece to Instagram.

“Jonah Hill he wants it really bad and the way me and him have fluctuated with weight in our lives, and no disrespect to him, cause I love him, I love him an actor… he wants it bad and I think he’d be great.”

Why does Hill, a serious thespian, want it bad, y’think, particularly given his struggle with fake cocaine following his role as Donnie Azoff in 2013’s The Wolf of Wall Street?

Hill, you’ll remember, was hospitalised with bronchitis following the seven-month shoot. Even though the fake coke was vitamin powder, it didn’t matter said Hill ‘cause “if you ingest that much matter into your lungs, you will get very sick” and added, “It’s interesting pretending to be on drugs.”

 

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"I immediately just ripped my leg rope off and I swam towards these guys here who were paddling towards me."

After a few bumper seasons, multiple deaths, kids, moms, Dads, swimmers, surfers, divers, Great Whites have been a little quiet this year.

Yeah, there was the swimmer who was hit and killed by a fifteen-foot Great White shark at Little Bay, a few clicks south of Maroubra beach in Sydney’s south-east, in February, filmed and broadcast around the world.

But since then, very little activity, until yesterday when a kid competing in a surf ski race at Seacliff in South Oz, was hit by a twelve-foot Great White.

Nat Drummond, who is nineteen, was a click into the race, mid-morning, when the White hit, from below as they do, biting through his fibreglass ski and real close to getting a hunk of his ass.

“My ski just kind of lifted above the water and then next thing I knew I was in the air and then I was in the water and I saw this figure fall back into the water. A big shark,” he told 9News. “I immediately just ripped my leg rope (attached to the surf ski) off and I swam towards these guys here who were paddling towards me, thankfully, and then just jumped onto their craft and pulled me out of the water to safety.”

The kid wasn’t too put off by the hit, howevs.

“It was an absolute freak accident. One of those one-in-a-million things that happened,” he said, before reassuring beachgoers, “We were out in pretty deep waters, this shouldn’t put other people off.”

He did say he might “go and buy a lottery ticket.”

A teenager taking part in a surf-ski race off Adelaide’s Seacliff Beach has been attacked by a Great White Shark.

He’s told how he was flung metres into the air and then rescued from the water, walking away without a scratch. @inglis_cam #9News pic.twitter.com/C7ogsdsnLx

— 9News Adelaide (@9NewsAdel) October 23, 2022

“It looks like I’m giving oral sex to somebody that’s not my wife, somebody that’s not my partner, and an image that I never signed off on, ever."

After a five-year legal batter, Costa Mesa surfer, tattoo model and RVCA team manager Mike Brophy has lost his five-million dollar lawsuit against Afro-Latinx rapper Cardi B despite his back art being used on the cover of her 2016 album Gangsta Bitch Music Vol 1.

The album’s cover shows a tattooed man eating hell out of Belcalis Marlenis Almánzar aka Cardi B’s “wet ass pussy”, while she examines the photographer with a quizzical eye, apparently able to have orgasms indefinitely until physical exhaustion intervenes.

Brophy’s lawyer told the court his client’s life had been “disrupted” and that the album cover turned his “Michelangelo piece” into something “raunchy and disgusting.”

“It looks like I’m giving oral sex to somebody that’s not my wife, somebody that’s not my partner, and an image that I never signed off on, ever,” Brophy told the court. “Being a father of two and a devoted husband and a man of faith as well, this goes against everything that I stand for, and I would never ever sign off on something like this.

“For me, it was something I took a lot of pride in… Now, that image feels devalued. I feel robbed. I feel completely disregarded. There’s a lot of things I would like to be spending time on. But the only way to get this removed was to come here to this courtroom.”

Yeah, well, on Friday a Santa Ana jury ruled the cover didn’t “cast Brophy in a false light or constitute a misappropriation of his likeness.”

Cardi B said the album cover’s graphic designer Tim Gooden only used “a small portion” of Brophy’s tatts and that the cover use was “transformative fair use of Brophy’s likeness.”

Exiting the court, Brophy reportedly told his nemesis, “At the end of the day, I do respect you as an artist.”