Too sexy. Photo: Fox News.
Too sexy. Photo: Fox News.

Conservative firebrand Fox and Friends hosts learn how to surf in New York during segment that devolves into wildly lewd orgy of lust!

Naughty talk.

The ubiquitous “learning how to surf” whilst nowhere near the ocean has been a staple of local television newscasts since broadcasting became a thing. Hosts standing awkwardly, making awkward talk and awkward eyes about “hanging ten” etc. The entire business is usually wholesome, family friendly, but, days ago, the conservative hosts of firebrand Fox and Friends pushed the envelope into the lewd and rude.

The bit begins with three hosts, two handsome males with conservative hair and one female wearing a long coat with feathered blonde hair. They are standing outside in New York City and one of the men declares, “Got the note to wear sweatpants today, sweatpants, because we’re going surfing.” Behind them all is a large blow-up wave, the sort Hurley sells, and on the ground are three soft tops.

The Locals’ Surf School co-owner is then introduced, informing the three that they should be in wetsuits, not their business suits, but they’re all going to give it a try. He then walks through the three basic skills. Paddle, pop up and wipeout, declaring, “Yes, you will be wiping out, I’m sure of it, but it can be fun and safe if we do it.”

He next lays on one of the soft tops and demonstrates proper paddling form while the hosts look on, popping to feet while one says “It looks like a burpee, it looks like you’re doing a burpee.”

Now this is where things turned bawdy. One of the male hosts got down to “paddle” and “pop up” himself, while the other two wonder if he is going to rip his pants. The female host refuses to get down on the board, worried that she might rip her jumpsuit with all declaring “that would be even better.”

Yikes.

So much pant/jumpsuit ripping. So much hope for it to all hang right out.

Pure lust.

More innuendo and tension, naughty talk, seen since Ron Burgundy went off the air.

Anchorman - Teleprompter

The female host then jumps onto the inflatable Hurley toy and the piece devolves from there into an orgy of odd, shocking viewers at home.

If you have the stomach, you can watch here.

More importantly, though, have your pants ever split in public?

Describe, please.

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tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago

Linda Benson and Donald Takayama frequented our local spot in the 60s, riding longboards…us groms were riding shortboards…I watched with awe!

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago

local, friendly contest…a right hander, very small…I took off behind him and he seemed unaware until he cut back, surprised I guess to see me and just swung. He acted like nothing happened and we went our seperate ways…friends watched from the beach houses and took notice. “Who is that guy?” Tom C was in the hot tub with some other contestants…”That was Bushman, he’s a shaper…” His friend is a neighbor, a former fireman…Everytime I see him I ask how’s Jeff…he just smirks. Really no harm, no foul. Mo betta him than Brutus, I guess.

Craven Morehead
Craven Morehead
3 years ago

Noah Johnson dressed as a chick!

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
3 years ago

Played a few pick up games with him at sunset elementary courts way back when. The stand out was an east coast guy called “Crocket”. Strapped with a fruit of the loom waist band around his skull he liked to play rough.

Z Knows
Z Knows
3 years ago

Surfing is so woke

M.
M.
3 years ago

So one of their social media analysts stumbled over the BG disqus threads?

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
3 years ago

Seeing as the BG coffers haven’t coughed up for a weekend at Kelly’s pool, perhaps they wouldn’t choke on a couple of these blow-up walls to have a dual pants-off at Bondi and Cardiff ‘buy’-the-sea…

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
3 years ago

Ahh Fox News. Aka, Rupert’s stream of consciousness. Do they still advertise dick pills on the ad breaks in the states? I was very shocked by that when there in 2015.

Sean Connery
Sean Connery
3 years ago

Cialis sales are through the roof in red states

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
3 years ago
Reply to  Sean Connery

Conservative deep dicking’s going down as we type!

Tom
Tom
3 years ago

This could be just the new “tour” – way more fun, always get an accurate wave height plus offshore every day – im sold

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
3 years ago

Fun stuff

Gil Gunderson
Gil Gunderson
3 years ago

Love me some smelly pirate hooker

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago

she just passed last month…

Sean Connery
Sean Connery
3 years ago
Reply to  tim_nelsen

This is the first I have heard. Thanks for posting.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago

joyce hoffman and dad walter

She was the first woman to surf Hawaii’s Bonzai Pipeline, the first female lifeguard on
the West Coast and the first woman to get a surfboard named after her,
thanks to Hobie Atler.

“I said to Hobie I’ve won more contests than any of those guys put
together,” she said. “I think I should have a model and he said, ‘I
never thought about that, but, sure, go on down to the shaping room and
let’s get one going.'”

Looking back, Hoffman says what surprises her are the things that happened
outside the surfing industry, like a life-size statue erected very
recently in her honor.

“I never thought in my wildest dreams I’d have a statue, for goodness
sakes,” she said. “Usually you’re dead when you have a statue, so the
fact I’m alive is plus right there.”

https://www.thecapistranodi…

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
3 years ago
Reply to  tim_nelsen

Breakfast with Joyce, DEZ! Lets go.. She could have a treasure trove of love making techniques for us grumpy fucks.

Gil Gunderson
Gil Gunderson
3 years ago

Noah?

Black Rubber
Black Rubber
3 years ago

Only in the front.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago

now for something entirely different…Jennifer Lawrence says she was the first woman superhero, OK. But who was the first woman to surf Pipe? Off the top of your head, T!

Ricky Spanish
Ricky Spanish
3 years ago

Fox news is the equivalent of a chili fart mixed with a smoke alarm

c4
c4
3 years ago
Reply to  Ricky Spanish

I’m getting you a fox and friends holiday cookbook to ad a little Christmas cheer to your life.

Ricky Spanish
Ricky Spanish
3 years ago
Reply to  c4

They have a recipe for rage covered diarrhea with a side of marinated bullshit? I bet they do

Snowbored
Snowbored
3 years ago
Reply to  c4

Isn’t that just a menu from McDonalds?

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
3 years ago

ELO is taking notes – will he replace Pipeline with that inflatable/mechanical wave? The WSL giving its fans what they want since 1976

Stick man
Stick man
3 years ago

Grit and Friends…

Barrelled
Barrelled
3 years ago

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