He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood.
One of the greatest gifts surf fans received just ahead of Christmas was Lupita Nyongo’o making Selema Masekela “Instagram official.” The much-loved, Academy Award winning actress at the very height of her powers, starring in blockbusters and critically-acclaimed films alike, debuted her romance with the surf broadcaster in a series of extremely cute matching outfit changes plus dancing.
But how did it come to be?
How did the two meet?
Love sleuths combing the internet have landed upon Laird Hamilton.
While the big wave icon is clearly multidisciplinary, pioneering stand-up paddleboarding, tow surfing and foiling, his skills as a matchmaker have not been thoroughly considered but here wave have irrefutable evidence. Nyong’o, you see, is currently starring the powerhouse film Wakanda Forever which features an underwater kingdom. But how did she get into physical shape in order to reach Talokan? By swimming with weights, of course, the patented cornerstone of Laird Hamilton’s XPT training program.
I think there is limited reasonable doubt to think that Masekela was at Hamilton’s house on one of those days, enjoying friendship and coconut-based coffee creamers when the latter made introduction. I think Hamilton, seeing a potential union would have followed up with each, texting encouraging messages and/or choreographed an XPT session where both Nyong’o and Masekela did underwater weights together.
The rest, of course, is now history.
But if Hamilton can reach amorous successes at such a peak level don’t you imagine that more single surfers and surfer-adjacent may darken his door?
Joe Turpel seeking Jennifer Aniston?
Gabriel Medina plus Drew Barrymore?
Laird Hamilton listening patiently before smiling, lightly, and saying, “Let us see what we can do?”
Exciting times.
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This will definitely get Sal invited to some big ticket Elo events. It’s going to be a mutually beneficial union. Thier agents must be happy. And good for his Afro centric surfwear brand for sure.
Wakanda forever!
A High Dive Drive Down Mexico Way: Summer of ’74 (Part 1)
A high school wrestling coach made yearly treks with a select few students to the Baja Peninsula and beyond was the legend. I was selected, along with four other young men, a great dane named Tiny and Art’s super-sized International Scout. I packed light but somehow surfboards were included. This was, after all, a surf trip.
Manhattan Beach had just ended its 4th of July celebrations and the International Ironman comp at the pier. What a zoo..Amped to hit the road. But July 5th was Steely Dan at the SM Civic. Took a geek that also smoke pot. No date. No friends. Countdown to Ecstasy had just been released. Got hooked on ‘the smooth style of syncopation’ via the vinyl an AM radio.
July 6th we hit the road, hard. MB to Ensenada for a stop-over. Bought huarache sandals and huge sunhat. Cambioed dollars for pesos. Light mex dinner and a couple of Superiors.
Up at the crack of dawn and drove the whole day to get to Guerrero Negro and Art’s been drinking beer the whole way. The boyz in the back are covered in dust, dirt, grime…and Tiny’s slobber…
Mutiny…
trustee’s need an advisor?
Poor Sal looking like Dolores just told him to cease all motor functions.
In the immortal words of Pam Ann…
I am fingering the air hostess but she is not cumming.
no lube
Isn’t turpel married to Susie Milosky?
All for Sion brah
When does pipe start?
Sal is currently laying pipe.
Pretty solid I imagine too.
no way he likes vag. this is a psyop
Sal’s butthole must be sore.
“choreographed an XPT session where both Nyong’o and Masekela did underwater weights together.” I can picture it.
There’s also Chas’ Freudian Slip/typo that only a surfer could deliver:
“…his skills as a matchmaker have not been thoroughly considered but here wave have irrefutable evidence.”
So this is where google algorithms get us. At least give us some tits to look at Chas, this is shit.
Some really funny parts.
Well, I guess this was always going to happen, Chas.
The constant seeking of adjacency to random unrelated events has led you to this.
Congrats on your transition from surf journalist to love sleuth, mate.
Hope the pays a bit better.
Not to mention the baiting of BG’s favourite emasculated trolls into spewing their hate