Rude.

We, each of us, have things in our lives that we would prefer to remain private. Maybe a penchant for watching Hallmark Christmas movies while sipping alcohol-free egg nog snuggled up in footed jamies. Or a quiet love of bodice rippers and buttery chardonnay. Well, apparently the very famous actor Edward Norton is a fan of professional surfing.

Nobody would have ever known and the star could have kept his kink hidden, like the rest of us, if it wasn’t for that dastardly World Surf League CEO Erik Logan.

In a vicious public outing, Logan took to Instagram and posted a screen grab of Norton’s new film Glass Onion, penning:

This is pretty cool. First, have to say, the sequel to Rian Johnson’s Knives Out, “Glass Onion” is really fun and such a great watch.

What was even more fun, was this scene (no spoilers) with Ed Norton and his hat! (Swipe left if you didn’t see)

You may not know but Ed is a huge Surf fan, lover of the Surf Ranch, and a huge supporter of the WSL.

Love these little Easter eggs in movies. And Thank you Ed!!!!

Happy Holidays!

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A post shared by Erik Logan (@elo_eriklogan)

Well, now we all know.

Sorry, Ed.

A real hand jam.

Feliz Navidad.

It very much goes without saying that Barton Lynch is a gift to surfing. From the BL Blast Off Challenge to his various podcastings, Instagram messages and general tone, the Australian legend brings a sort of genteelness to our space. Something typically in short order.

Now, it would be thought that his admixture of experience, his trained eye and his ability to speak about nuances would have make Lynch the ideal color commentator for the World Surf League. Indeed, he did spend a year, or such, shoulder to shoulder with Joe Turpel, Ron Blakey et. al. giving surf fans the most aural joy of all but then, like that, he was brutally disappeared. Told that “his services were no longer needed.”

Why?

Well, rumors percolated through the industry that his “politics” had become an issue.

His politics?

Surf fans scratched their heads furiously trying to figure out which of his “politics” were off-brand for the WSL. Which would cause troubles. Or scratched their heads furiously until days ago, that is, when an image was leaked featuring Lynch engaging his rail in a picture-perfect bottom turn at Sunset, white beard fluttering in the stiff breeze.

While the connection to Karl Marx and his various theories on production and workers etc. is readily apparent to adults, children around the globe made an instant connection to an earlier hammer of naughty and nice.

A pre-industrial revolution red.

Santa Claus.

Now, anyone who has ever studied political theory is well aware that the aforementioned is the ideal communist. An authoritarian who delivers gifts created in factories where no wages are paid or collected to everyone who has kept their heads down during the year and stayed off his enemies’ list. A singular figure who works to banish scarcity by delivering toys, without cost, to homes everywhere in the world.

A beacon of egalitarianism.

It is odd that the World Surf League would be so anti-communist, especially in this day and age where many more pressing troubles boil and bubble, but at least children can enjoy Santa absolutely ripping.

Feliz Navidad.